U Drive Me Crazy: The Story

YoSwtThang@aol.com

Erin Aleese Carter glanced in his direction for the tenth time that night. She was at the Grammys with her brother, but it was nothing new to her. She'd been to a million award ceremonies, sat amongst a million celebrities, and she was no longer in awe of any of it. In her eyes, Faith Hill and Christina Aguilera were no different or any more special than she was. But at the moment she was gawking over one of the few celebrities that she had yet to meet. She would admit to anybody, other than her brother and Britney Spears, that she had a crush on him. This 'him' was Justin Timberlake of 'NSync. His girlfriend was Britney Spears. And Erin's brother was Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys. Her brother would have a cow if he knew she liked Justin Timberlake.

"Erin, stop gazing at Britney Spears and comparing your breast sizes," Nick rolled his eyes and glanced up towards the stage where Aerosmith was about to perform. "You're so materialistic sometimes."

"First off, I wasn't looking at Britney OR her boobs. Secondly, dimwit, you should stop trying to use big words. They don't suit you, and you're gonna hurt yourself some day. And we wouldn't want that, now would we?" her sarcasm was evident and Nick didn't like it.

"You're so annoying sometimes. I don't know why I bring you places," Nick remarked bitterly. He hadn't gotten much sleep and he was grumpy. "So if you're not staring at Britney and her siliconeness, then you must be looking at ... Justin?"

Erin could feel a blush creep into her cheeks, and she hoped her brother wouldn't notice. But he did.

"You were!! Sick! You like that skin head?!"

Erin sighed and slumped farther into her chair, exasperated, "Look, his hair has grown out again, so shut up and stop calling him that. And I don't LIKE him, I just ... like him."

Nick rolled his eyes, "Don't even think about it, Er. He's taken, and he's ... he's ... Justin!!"

"Thank you, Captain Obvious."

~ * ~

Justin glanced around the room as Britney was busy talking to Mandy Moore about their dresses. His eyes fell on Nick Carter and his sister, Erin. He could tell they had been arguing, because they were both slumped down in their chairs, pretending as though the other didn't exist. He noticed how pretty Erin looked, her hair in a fancy updo. He could never understand how all these petite girls didn't fall over with the amount of hair they managed to bunch up on top of their heads. Erin was wearing a gorgeous silver dress that showed enough cleavage to get the imagination rolling, but left enough covered so that she didn't look like a slut.

Erin was older than Nick, by 2 years, making her 3 years older than himself. But what did that matter in the first place? He wondered why he suddenly couldn't tear his gaze from her. He had a girlfriend sitting next to him. Glancing over at her, he saw Britney still talking about her dress. With a sigh, he looked back to Erin and Nick who were now talking again and seemed much happier. Nick brought Erin to a lot of these things, which seemed to insinuate that they were close, and Justin couldn't help but wonder if he ever did get rid of Britney, if Nick would allow him to even be slightly interested in Erin. But Erin was older than Nick, and she seemed to baby him more than he did her. But still ... him and Nick didn't get along very well.

Justin sighed, irritated with himself. The fact was ... he DID have a girlfriend, and he shouldn't have even been looking at Erin in the first place. Turning back to Britney, he groaned.

~ * ~

It was two months later that Erin saw Justin again. It was actually nothing glamorous or celebrity-related. It was in the check-out aisle at the grocery store.

"Hey, you're Nick's sister, right?" Justin asked once Erin had noticed his presence.

Erin felt herself sputter, just at the shock of seeing him so close. "Um, yeah. I don't believe we've ever met. I'm Erin ..." she held out her hand for him to shake.

"Justin." He felt his heart flutter and his stomach jump as his hand met hers. He liked that her shake was firm, but welcoming, and not wimpy or girlie.

"Excuse me," somebody said from behind them. They turned to look at the young woman. "Um ..." she pointed towards the line. It was Erin's turn, and she blushed as she stepped forward and got her checkbook from her purse as the cashier rang her items up.

"Plastic or paper?" the clerk asked in a dreary monotone. It was obvious she didn't enjoy her job ... but who would? Erin couldn't help but wonder.

"Um ... plastic, please." Her groceries always managed to end up on the ground when she chose paper. Erin looked back to Justin when she felt his eyes on her.

"You busy tonight, Erin?" Justin blurted out before he'd thought. "I mean ... well, I ..."

Erin's eyes were wide. Was he asking her out? He had a girlfriend! Unless ... they'd broken up.

"I told the guys that I'd meet them at a club tonight, and they're all gonna bring somebody with them ... but ... Britney can't come, and I just thought ..." Okay, so it was a lame attempt, and in all actuality he had never asked Britney. What had he gotten himself into now?

"Um ... sure?" Erin sounded hesitant, and Justin didn't blame her. She was agreeing to go on a date with a guy she hardly knew, who had a girlfriend. AND he was her brother's rival.

"Great, I'll pick you up at 10," he said as the store clerk placed her bags into the cart, puting Erin's receipt inside one of them.

"Yeah ... okay. Do you know how to get to my house?"

Justin nodded as he pushed his cart farther up, beginning to unload his things.

"Okay ... I'll um ... see you then," she said nervously before getting her cart and walking out of the store.

Justin sighed. Great.

~ * ~

The entire afternoon and evening, as Justin waited for 10 o'clock to come around, he continued to tell himself that it was perfectly fine to ask another girl to 'hang out' with him. Britney had guy friends, and it wasn't like him and Erin would be alone. They'd have all the other guys and their girlfriends with them. "Girlfriends" was the key word, and Justin knew that to everybody else Erin would be his date. He knew that it was wrong not to tell Britney -- and even more wrong that he was screening his calls and not picking up when she called -- but she would flip, and he didn't want to upset her. Especially since he hadn't even asked her to come with him, or told her he was going clubbing with the guys in the first place.

Finally at 9 o'clock Justin sighed, deciding to quit thinking about Britney (though it was hard when he constantly heard her voice come across the machine, asking for him to call her), and to enjoy his night. He sprinted up his staircase and into his bathroom to take a shower and get ready. He had an hour until he had to go pick Erin up, and he was suddenly getting nervous. He felt like it was the first time he had performed in front of a huge crowd, all over again. And he didn't understand why. It was a date ... something he had done a million times. Wait a minute ... he'd admitted to himself that it was a date. With a loud groan, he grabbed the clothes out of his closet that he was going to wear and went into the bathroom. She drove him crazy, and he couldn't deny it any longer.

~ * ~

Erin tried to sneak by her brother's room unnoticed, but was unsuccessful.

"I can't believe you're going somewhere with him," Nick's voice sounded edgy as he called out to her, from his place on his bed where he was laying down.

Erin sighed, feeling like she had jumped into a soap opera. Everybody was so melodramatic about everything. Her brother was going crazy at the thought that she was dating his competition, her mother had told her to be safe if she did anything, and her father had told her that if she DIDN'T want to do anything it was perfectly fine and she needed to just tell the guy to stop. She felt like screaming. It was one date! If it was even that! And everybody was PMSing over it. Plus, the guy had a girlfriend ... and she doubted that she herself meant anything to him at all. She was just a pawn he was using in order to not look dateless in front of his friends, because his girlfriend was busy. Suddenly she felt kind of crappy, but she walked down the hall to her bedroom and adjoining bathroom, deciding to ignore her brother, and just to get ready no matter what anybody was thinking ... or what she was thinking.

~ * ~

Justin pulled up to the Carter's house, worried that Nick would open the door and beat the crap out of him for even asking his sister out. But Erin was a big girl, older than Nick, and she could make up her own mind about things. He wondered why she still lived at home, but quickly forgot about it once the door opened and Erin stood on the other side, looking hot as heck. She was wearing short, white shorts and a tight white tank top (think Jessica Simpson's video "Irresistible") that showed up to her belly button, which was pierced to his surprise, with white slightly platform tennies. Justin couldn't help himself from gazing at her legs. They were long and tan and desirable.

"You okay, Justin?" Erin asked, placing a hand on his shoulder, totally unaware of the fact that she'd taken his breath away.

Justin flushed and looked up at her. Gosh, why did she have to touch him. "Um ... yeah, I'm fine."

"Come in, I just have to grab my purse," she gestured for him to come inside, and walked away once the door was shut behind him. He watched her go into another room, loving the view, and when she came back he was still flustered that she had such an affect on him. He was suddenly scared to go somewhere with her for the entire night when she had such a power over him.

"You ready?" Erin asked as she reappeared next to him, seeming to want to get out of there quickly. "My parents are driving me insane."

Justin laughed lightly and opened the door again, gesturing for her to go in front of him. He closed the door behind them, grateful that there had been no confrontations with her brother. He opened the car door for her and waited until she was completely situated before closing the door after her.

"Do you ever go clubbing?" Justin asked once they had buckled their seatbelts and he had started the car. He pulled out of the driveway as she answered.

"Not really," Erin shook her head, "Well, it's a rare occasion when I do. I'm not much of a partier." She realized what she'd said and slapped herself in the forehead with a groan, "Oh gosh ... nevermind, don't listen to me."

Justin laughed, "Don't worry about it, girl. We'll just make an appearance, dance a bit, and then we can leave and go somewhere else."

Her stomach fluttered, "Um ... all right."

~ * ~

Dancing a little had been an understatement, but Erin found herself not wanting to really leave anyway. She was having fun, and for the first time she was having fun while being at a party. It was 2 in the morning when they decided to leave and go for a walk in the park. Erin immediately took her shoes off as they walked through the grass, the ocean to their left. Justin could feel himself falling for her even more. He loved when girls went bare foot, and she looked absolutely adorable. They decided to walk onto the pier, and with the water on both sides of her Erin began to get cold. Justin didn't have a coat with him -- he was only wearing a nice black T-shirt with baggy khakis and K-Swiss tennies -- but he noticed that goosebumps were forming on her arms. They got to the end of the pier and she was standing in front of him.

"You cold?" he asked in her ear quietly, and Erin felt an electrical sensation go up and down her spine. He was making her quite warm actually. Nonetheless she wordlessly allowed him to wrap his arms around her, and she leaned against his chest, feeling his heart beating against her back.

"Do you always know what girls are feeling?" Erin asked, looking out over the dark sky and water. She couldn't tell where they met each other.

"Unfortunately, no," Justin chuckled. "It's funny you'd say that ... I've had a lot of relationships end because I 'don't know what they're feeling.' Personally, how am I supposed to if they don't tell me?"

Erin smiled, turning around and hoping that he would keep his arms around her, and he did. "I think that girls expect guys to know what they're thinking and feeling because girls have a special intuition and they can't fathom the thought that guys might just be dense and stupid."

"Hey now!"

Erin laughed and suddenly leaned her head against his shoulder, smelling his cologne as a breeze blew around them gently. She could feel him sigh and wondered if something was wrong. Suddenly she realized he still had a girlfriend. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry," Erin said with a blush creeping up into her cheeks and tears forming in her eyes. She always did that! She always started to like guys that she could never have. "I forgot ... you know ... about ... you and Britney."

"What about us?" Justin found himself saying as he tightened his hold on Erin and rested his chin on top of her head. He didn't want to let go.

"Well ... that you two are dating," Erin pulled away and looked up at him. They were dating, right?

"Oh. Well ... Brit and I broke up, actually."

Erin gasped, "Are you serious? Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry."

Yeah, so am I, Justin found himself thinking. I'm sorry I'm lying to you! My gosh, what is wrong with me?! "Yeah, well ... um, it wasn't really meant to be. It's okay."

Erin suddenly felt very awkward as she laid her head back down on his shoulder, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. It certainly explained why Britney couldn't go clubbing with him. Erin suddenly looked back up at him, and his gaze penetrated so deep into her eyes her stomach twisted into knots. She wanted to kiss him so badly, but didn't think it would be appropriated.

"Can I kiss you?" Justin suddenly asked, feeling breathless.

Erin nodded quickly, "Yes."

Justin leaned down and pressed his lips to hers gently at first, slowly growing more fervent. Erin could feel her knees growing weak and Justin's arms wrapped around her tighter.

~ * ~

A month later Erin sat in her living room thinking. Her and Justin had started dating the night of the club and the pier, and she thought they were serious, but lately Justin had been acting really strange. He was always taking phone calls in the other room, and he would tell her that he was busy and couldn't see her on certain nights that NSync didn't even have anything to do. She was suddenly very worried that he was cheating on her, or that something was wrong with him. Her thoughts were cut off when her brother came in the room.

"I think Justin's cheating on me," Erin blurted out before she could think. She had to tell somebody about her assumptions -- they were driving her nuts.

Nick looked at her strangely. He'd been better about her dating Justin lately, because he realized just how serious his sister was about the guy, but Erin still rarely talked about Justin to him, not wanting to piss him off. "Uhh, what would make you think that?"

"He always takes calls in the other room, and he says that he can't get together when I know that he has nothing going on ... it's just ... weird."

Nick sighed, not knowing what to tell her. He did know that if Justin was cheating on her, he'd kill him. Or want to, at least. "I'm sure it's nothing, Er," he said, just to comfort her.

"Erin, I need you to go to the store and get me some things!" Jane, their mom, called from the kitchen. She walked into the family room to find her two oldest children talking. She handed Erin a grocery list, "Can you please do this for me?"

Erin sighed, but nodded, "Sure, mom." She stood up and grabbed her keys, heading out the door.

Erin had just finished getting everything that her mother had written on the list, and was heading towards the check-out aisle when she spotted a magazine with her boyfriend on the cover. She looked at it, only to see Britney Spears hanging all over him in the picture. "Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears have been dating for 2 years now!" was the headline. Erin could feel herself beginning to choke and she didn't know if she was choking back a sob or choking on her own saliva. All of her groceries crashed to the ground as she heard somebody giggle and looked up to see Justin and Britney walk into the store together. The lady standing behind Erin was trying to ask her if she was all right, but Erin couldn't hear a thing; she was in a daze, and suddenly her anger boiled over.

"That stupid b*tch," she fumed, not knowing if she was referring to her so-called boyfriend, or her so-called boyfriend's girlfriend. She stormed over to the pair, leaving her groceries behind and forgetting all about them. "You f*ckin' prick!" her eyes blazed as she stood in front of a shocked and speechless Justin.

"Excuse me?!" Britney shrieked, trying to defend her man. She lunged at Erin, but Justin grabbed her and tossed her back mindlessly.

"Go get in the car, Brit," he spoke calmly, and Britney fussed, but he shouted, "Get in the car!!" Once she was gone, he tried to grab Erin's hands in his and calm her down, but she wouldn't hear it, "Er, it's not what it looks like. We're just friends-"

"You ass hole! You're STILL lying! Go look on the magazine covers, Justin!" she spoke his name as if it were a plague. "How stupid did you think I was?! You think I'd never see a magazine or something?!" she wiped the tears from her eyes furiously, "You're an idiot! An absolute idiot! 2 years?! 2 years, huh?! You never broke up with her!! You lied to me!!"

Justin could feel all the air leaving his lungs. Because of his stupid lack of courage to break up with Britney he was losing the one girl he'd ever loved. "Er, I'm so sorry ... I-I was going to. I just ... I was scared, and I didn't know how to do it. Everybody expects me to be with her-"

"Oh. I see. So because of your f*cking image, you couldn't break up with that ditzy b*tch?! You're not much of a man, are you? How could you do this to me?? I loved you!" it was the first time she had ever said it, and Justin felt tears well in his eyes though he tried to deny them by blinking rapidly but it was no use. She loved him, and he loved her, and he'd completely blown it.

"Er ... I love you too, please don't do this."

"No, you heard me wrong. I don't love you, I LOVED you. I have no feelings towards you anymore," she knew she was lying, but she was too hurt to admit that she still was in love with a guy that had ripped her heart out and stomped on it. The whole month that they'd been dating had been a lie. She could hardly believe it.

"Please ... give me another chance. Trust me, it was over with Britney long before I even met you. She doesn't mean anything to me in that way. Just you. Please, Er ... I'm so sorry. You have to forgive me!" Justin begged, fully prepared to get down on his hands and knees for her.

"Justin, I don't HAVE to do anything. You cheated on me! Well, technically, you cheated on her ... but you LIED to me!" Erin suddenly buried her face in her hands and began to sob.

Justin felt his lunch coming up. He had never seen her cry before and it was breaking his heart, though he knew he deserved it and so much more for what he'd done to her. He couldn't help himself -- he wrapped his arms around her tightly and let her cry, not caring that almost everybody in the store was looking at them. The woman he loved was bawling, and it was all because of him and the idiot that he was.

After a few minutes she began to gain control and Justin could feel her breath coming out in shaky wavers against his neck. He knew how much he had hurt her for her to cry like that, and he wished that he could kill himself. "Erin, I am SO sorry for what I did. I love you so much though, please don't end this."

Erin pulled away slowly and looked up at him, "I love you too, but you REALLY hurt me. We're on a break ... I need some time to think."

Justin nodded, "That's fair. Just remember I love you, okay?" he dropped a gentle kiss on her forehead before turning and leaving the store, heading towards his car to immediately end things with Britney. Seeing Erin cry like she had, had given him enough courage to do anything for her.

~ * ~

Before Justin knew it a month had passed and then two and then three, before he finally saw Erin again. Unfortunately, it wasn't exactly the most heartwarming scenario that he had conjured up in his mind over the past three months. In fact it was hardly wonderful at all. It was horrible. Instead of the grocery store where they'd met for the first time, it was the post office this time. And Erin was with another man. And they were holding hands. And Justin felt his heart crumble into shreds.

"Hey, Er," he heard himself say, though he could hardly focus on anything except for the picture in front of him. Suddenly the roles were reversed as Erin said to the guy next to her, "Why don't you go wait in the car, Joe? I'll be there in a bit."

The guy nodded and without saying anything, he walked outside to Erin's same red Jeep Wrangler.

"I thought we were on a break," Justin looked down at his feet. "I didn't know that involved dating other people."

"Justin, I ... Look, he went off to college 5 months before you and I met and we were dating off and on, but NOT while you and I were, so don't think that. I ... he came back to town, and..."

"And what? You don't know how to say 'no'? You feel like you owe him something? I've been waiting this whole time for you, E. You didn't even have the decency to call me once and tell me that it was over?"

"Because I don't know what I want, Justin!" she buried her face in her hands. If things got any worse, she swore she'd have a nervous break down. "I don't know, I don't know ..."

Justin sighed, "Well, why don't I make this easier for you? Why don't we forget it? Because it's been three months, and if you don't love me enough to know that you want to be with me, then ... then go be with Joe."

"Justin, please don't do this. I love you!" Erin called out, but he was already gone.

~ * ~

A year later, Justin found himself still deeply in love with Erin, though he never told anybody about it. He pretended everything was fine, and he was his normal happy-go-lucky self. The day that it was exactly a year since he walked out of her life, Justin found himself even more depressed than normal. He knew that it had been a year since he had last seen her, or been in her presence. Justin had talked to Nick at an awards show, a few months before, and Nick had informed him that Erin had moved to Orlando into her own condo. Nick had given him the address, which had surprised Justin, but he had never used it, not knowing if Erin had wanted him to or not, and not wanting to upset her anymore than he already had. But on the anniversary of their break up, Justin found himself pulling the slip of paper from his wallet and looking at it intently. It was only a few blocks from his own house, and he began to wonder if she was home, and if she was if she would enjoy seeing him, or begin screaming at the sight of him. In one swift moment, Justin swept his keys up off the coffee table and sprinted out to his car.

~ * ~

Justin switched from one foot to another at Erin's doorstep. It was a beautiful condominium complex, and he smiled at how much it seemed like the perfect place for her to live. After a few minutes, Justin heard footsteps and the door opened to reveal Erin in a pair of shorts, much like the ones that she had worn on their first date only black, and a long-sleeved thin, black V-neck sweater. She was wearing black tennis shoes with no socks and her legs looked scrumptious as always. Justin felt himself choking back tears as he was thrown back into the past. It felt natural for him to sweep her into his arms and kiss her like he always had when he would go over to her house while they were dating. But he knew that was no longer acceptable, and that it really wasn't normal or natural, even if it would have felt that way for him. But she was no longer his.

"Hi, Justin," Erin said, in surprise. She knew that her brother had given him her address, because a few weeks after he had he'd broken down and confessed, feeling guilty. Erin had told him that she didn't care, because she knew that Justin would never use it ... and she had truly believed that. So to see him on her doorstep was a true shock to her. "Um ... come in."

Justin nodded in appreciation and stepped inside. Her condo was as beautiful inside as he had imagined. He knew she had a lot of money, so he didn't know why he was surprised, but it was decorated very classy. "How have you been, Erin?" he asked as she began to pour them something to drink in the kitchen.

"I've been ... good," she knew she was lying, but there was no reason to tell her ex-boyfriend, whom she hadn't seen for a year, about all of her life trials. "What about you?"

"I've been ... okay."

Erin looked up. He sounded so much like her, and the look in his eyes matched the one that she saw in her own every time she looked in a mirror. "I've missed seeing those eyes," she smiled before she could stop herself. And she really didn't regret saying it. She was being honest. She had missed his eyes.

"I've missed yours too," Justin smiled back. "So, you um ... you still with Joe?" he found himself asking as his smile faded.

Erin took a deep breath and handed him his glass with a shaking hand, "No ... no, um ... Joe and I broke up the day that ... that you and I did." She realized how weird that sounded and began to laugh.

Justin grabbed her arms in his hands suddenly, having seen the look that her eyes now held too, and pulled her to him. She stood in front of him on shaking legs and felt the breath being sucked from her lungs. "Er ... I ..." he paused for a long time as tears grew in his eyes and his breath wavered. "I love you. And ... And I know I screwed up in a HUGE way. I'm aware of all that I lost when you left my life. And I want it back. I want it all back," tears were now falling from his face freely. Erin not only hated to see guys cry, but the way that he was talking to her made her cry too. "I know that sounds selfish, because I'm the one that caused it to leave in the first place. But you have to know that I love you with everything in me. I have been DEAD for the last year. I'm NOTHING without you. I can't live without you, Er. I just can't do it."

Erin was sobbing as she pulled away from him, and turned her back to him. She couldn't give in. She couldn't take him back. He had put her through hell, and she knew that she had created part of her own torment, but Justin had broken her heart more than any other in the world. Just because she loved him didn't mean that she could let herself have him. "Justin ... I ... I can't. I've gone through hell, and I can't take the chance of going through it all again. Please understand."

Justin took a deep breath, "All right, Er. Just know I love you." He put his glass down on the counter gently and with one last glance at her, left her condo and her life for what he thought was forever.

Erin began to sob hysterically as soon as she heard the door quietly close behind him. As she headed upstairs to her bedroom she subconsciously told herself that if he came back the next day, she would let him back into her life.

~ * ~

The next day Erin looked out her bedroom window hearing a car door slam shut in the parking lot. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw Justin heading up to her front door. "He's here! Oh my gosh ..." She combed her hair quickly and straightened out her clothes just as the doorbell rang. "Come in!!" she called and heard the door open.

Erin stood at the top of the staircase. At the sight of him, she flew down the stairs and straight into his arms, "I love you!! I love you so much ... Please don't ever leave me again. I'm so sorry that I didn't take you back yesterday, Justin. I'm so sorry. I love you so much!" She was crying again, and she didn't know if it was because she was happy or because she was relieved.

"I love you too, Erin, I love you too," Justin held her close to him, knowing he would never let go of her again. "Gosh, you drive me crazy!"