It's been a year since I last saw him. It was a cold, foggy night. There was a light breeze blowing as he and I stepped from the dance club. He'd asked me if he could stay at my house that night -- He'd been acting distant and distracted all evening -- I told him that probably wasn't the best idea, as I had family members visiting from Canada, and there wasn't much room in my small 3 bedroom house, at the time... Plus how tacky would it be to bring a boyfriend home with me, with my mother in the next room? He merely nodded, before getting into his car and driving away.
I supposed he was going home.
I stood up as my doorbell rang. I was expecting guests. Many of them. It was my birthday and like always my best friend, Adrienne, was throwing me a huge "exciting" party... Well, they would have been exciting... if I was the type to party... which I wasn't. Haha, did that even make sense? I mean, I told you that Nick and I had been stepping from a club --- Nick. Nick... he... he was at my door. I'd opened my door, expecting to see some of my close friends - or even family - but it wasn't either. It was Nick. I stood there, not knowing what to say, not knowing what to do.
Where'd he come from? Why, after all this time, was he at my front door? Where had he been for an entire year?!
I did the only thing I could think to do: I let him inside.
What in the hell was I supposed to say now?? He wasn't saying anything, and I wasn't saying anything... we were just standing there, in the entrance of my house, staring at each other. But HE was the one who'd left, I'd figured. Why should I be the one to start conversation? He should start explaining! It was his place. But he didn't.
"Hi," I said, finally breaking the stomach-flipping, nerve-awakening, heart-wrenching silence.
"Hi."
All of a sudden he pulled me into his arms, tightly. And though at first it scared me... I realized I'd missed it. I'd missed him.
Nick wasn't what you would call an emotional man. But in all my years of knowing the blonde beauty, he began to cry as he held me and I held him back. I know he'd cried before - everybody has - but he'd never cried in front of me. He'd been my boyfriend, my lover, my confidant, but most of all my best friend... and I'd never seen him cry. He wasn't good at expressing his feelings. I could always tell if he was upset, but he refused to talk about things that were bothering him.
I asked him, as I led him into my family room, what was wrong, why he was crying, where he had been for the past year! Why the hell he'd suddenly disappeared on me! Of course, I said it kindly... he was already crying, no need to upset him further! But Nick merely shook his head 'no,' as he sat down, taking my hands in his and holding them for a few minutes. I knew he wasn't ready to talk about it. But whatever had happened, whatever he'd been involved with, had been bad.
I'd always thought Nick was a strong human being... everytime I was upset he'd always appeared so strong for me, even if it affected the both of us... he was my rock, the one I could always run to. And then he'd disappeared for a year, leaving me to rely fully on myself. I suppose it had been good for me, in ways - it had built my character, made me stronger. But as Nick sat there and cried, I began to cry, and I realized just then, that maybe he wasn't as strong as he'd always appeared to be.
But that was okay. I wasn't either.
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