Vietnam:

Book One

Vietnam: Chapter 1

Nick Carter looked at his wife out of the corner of his eye as she drove. He'd been pretending to sleep for the last hour. In a few minutes he was going to tell her to stop at the nearest Motel 6... but for now he wanted to be a voyeur and just watch her.

She was as beautiful to him as the first day they'd met. Her once long brown hair was now cut to her shoulders and her facial features didn't look as childish... she was a gorgeous woman and her beauty seemed to grow with each year that passed.

They were both twenty-six and they'd been married since nineteen. It had been stupid of them, really, and when Nick looked back on it now he wished they would have waited another four or five years.

At the time they had married, Nick's career as a member of the Backstreet Boys was still in full swing. Now, the group was no longer making music and Nick had gone completely solo. If only they could have waited until they were twenty-three or twenty-four... Nick could have devoted so much more time to their marriage... he could have invested more energy into their relationship... maybe then they wouldn't be on the verge of splitting up. It was a known fact that Nick blamed ninety percent of their failure on himself. It was also a known fact that Jayme blamed ninety-five percent of their failure on him.

Two weeks ago Jayme had come to him, while he was laying down some tracks in his at-home studio, and told him she thought it was time they divorced... it was ridiculous for them to try and hold onto something that was simply no longer there. Nick had begged her to reconsider, told her he'd spend more time on their relationship, told her they could take a vacation, escape their responsibilities for a while and just focus on each other.

"Fine... you plan the trip," she'd spoken, her tone agitated. "If things aren't different between us by the time we get home, I'm filing for divorce."

So Nick had planned the trip... a yearlong trek around the country by car. Jayme had been livid when he'd told her the arrangements he'd made. But she'd gone, nonetheless, and they were now only halfway through the first month... and things had been awfully silent... eerily so.

Vietnam: Chapter 2

Jayme stretched as they got out of the car at yet another motel. She couldn't believe that after all the years Nick had bitched about all the hotels he'd stayed at, he wanted to go on a road trip.

"You don't have to get doors for me, Nick," Jayme grumbled as he held the door into the office for her. "You finally being a gentleman isn't going to save your marriage."

Nick rolled his eyes, feeling annoyed. "You know, we don't treat each other this bad at home, so-"

"We don't talk at home."

Nick pulled his lip between his teeth and looked down. He ran his hands through his hair as she walked ahead of him and over to the small desk located on the far side of the room. He watched her ring the bell for service and felt his insides twitch as she leaned her back against the counter, her eyes closing. She was beautiful... and it killed him. They hadn't made love in months.

"Can I help you?" a stalky man made his way from a back room and gave them a polite smile. At least someone was smiling. "You two need a room?"

"Yes, please," Nick smiled back, but his smile was fake. He'd mastered those over the years. "Just a king-sized bed for the night." A king-sized bed equaled more space for them to avoid each other. At least they weren't to the point where they got two singles. "Second story, if you got any."

"Sure thing," the man nodded, looking through the computer for an available room. "Room 225?"

Nick shrugged, "Sure." He tossed his credit card onto the counter and watched the attendant move over to the board of keys and grab their room key.

Jayme stayed silent, her eyes still closed.

Vietnam: Chapter 3

Jayme watched Nick from the bed as he put his clothes into the dresser. She wondered why he did that every night when they were leaving the next day. It didn't seem very practical, but she chose not to ask and instead let him do his thing. But something was different with him tonight. Normally fairly laid back, he now looked very tense; and she'd noticed on their way up to their room that his jaw was clenched.

"Nick?" Jayme questioned uncertainly. It had been a while since they'd shared their feelings with one another and she wasn't sure he'd want to start now.

Nick stopped shoving clothes into the dresser and sat very still, his back still to her. "Yeah."

"Are you... um... y'know... okay?"

Nick's eyes drifted shut at a sound he hadn't heard in Jayme's voice in quite a while... concern. They'd grown so far from each other that they rarely had conversations with one another... and fifty percent of the time that they did, they'd end up arguing.

"Why?" he mumbled, wary of where the conversation could end up.

"I don't know," Jayme sighed and slumped down farther against the headboard. "You just seem... different tonight."

Nick couldn't believe the feelings coursing through his veins. It had been so long and for the first time in a long time just the sound of her voice was doing strange things to him. He knew if they didn't stop talking he'd end up in trouble. He couldn't believe that they'd gotten to the point where attempting to make love to your wife was trouble.

Nick merely shrugged in response to her comment and continued to put his things away.

"Nick, stop it," Jayme snapped and sat up, staring at the back of his head. "Can you at least look at me? You know, you say you want to work this relationship out so badly, but now you're suddenly ignoring me? Get off your ass and do something about the fact that we're about to get a divorce!"

Nick turned and glared at her, disbelieving what his ears had just heard. The woman he'd married had not been this ungrateful. He stood and made his way to the bed on firmly planted feet. For once in all his years of knowing her, it took everything in his power not to reach out and strangle her.

"Get off my ass and do something? Do something, Jayme?! You've got to be f*cking kidding me!"

Jayme's eyes were wide at the fire she saw within his.

"Why are we on this trip, Jay? Because of me and the fact that I want to fix our marriage! Why did I stop everything else in my life for an entire f*cking year?! Because I want to fix our d*mn marriage! So don't you tell me to get off my ass and do something, when all you've done for the last two weeks is bitched and moaned about how much you don't want to be here! I'm trying, okay?! So why don't you get off your f*cking ass and do something?!"

Jayme's chest rose and fell quickly with every breath she took. Her heart was racing, her blood boiling, and it felt like every nerve ending was on fire. She felt weak and light headed, and God help her, she felt turned on. For the first time in a long time he'd stuck up for himself and it had made her want him more than she had in months.

"I'm sorry," Jayme whispered, refusing to give into what her body was wanting. Hormone-driven sex with her husband was not going to fix their relationship. Sure, reconnecting on a sexual level could help... but it wouldn't take away the years-worth of hurt they'd let make up the foundation of their marriage.

Nick watched the different moods painted across her face and sighed. Everything was so messed up... how had they let it come to this? He ran his fingers through his short hair before tossing the shirt he'd been holding onto the bed and walking into the bathroom for a shower.

Vietnam: Chapter 4

Jayme yawned and stretched her muscles as she stood from the car. They'd driven for six hours straight that morning, neither wanting to stop for food... they weren't hungry. It had been a depressing day after realizing the night before that they'd allowed cold showers to replace their sex life. But finally, with the need to use restrooms too great, they'd decided to pull over at the nearest McDonald's, grab some food, and go to the bathroom.

Nick ordered their food as Jayme was using the restroom. Stepping back from the counter and making his way to a nearby booth, he smiled warmly at a young girl who was openly staring at him. Either she recognized him, or he still hadn't lost his boyish good looks.

"Found a groupie while I was gone, Nick?" Jayme came up behind him and beat him to the booth, sitting down.

Nick shot her a look before sliding into the opposite side. "You're a funny one, Jaymes, a real funny one."

"Thanks!" she chirped insincerely. Her face grew solemn when his eyes clouded. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah," Nick sighed. "Me too."

Nick tapped her hand with his finger and Jayme knew what he was asking permission for. Unnecessary hand-holding had been a rarity in their relationship for a while now. Unnecessary, of course, meaning whenever they weren't in public together as "Nick and Jayme Carter."

Uneasily, Jayme opened her clenched fist and allowed their fingers to intertwine. She sighed. It was awkward when it really shouldn't have been. A few minutes later, their number was called, indicating that their food was ready. They released each other all too eagerly as Nick got up to grab their lunch.

Vietnam: Chapter 5

Nick watched Jayme asleep on the other side of the bed. She'd fallen asleep with her back to him, but in her slumber had rolled over. He watched the expressions on her face and wondered what she was dreaming of.

"Jayme," Nick whispered and began to gently shake her shoulder. Her head had started to thrash back and forth against her pillow and Nick was afraid she was having a nightmare. "Jay... baby, wake up."

Jayme's eyes slowly fluttered open as she panted for air. Nick took note of the fact that her eyes were clouded over with a look he hadn't seen in a very long time. So maybe it hadn't exactly been a nightmare. She licked her lips as she stared at him and Nick was surprised when she reached up and ran her fingers through his hair. He could feel his body reacting to her touch. His head dropped and rested against her chest.

"Nick, I want you," Jayme breathed, her breath warm against his overheated skin. "It's been so long..."

No, Nick's mind screamed. Stop her, stop this!

It wasn't that he didn't want to make love to his wife. But he knew that if they did, it would only be because they were sexually frustrated... not because they were going to rekindle the flame their marriage had lost so long ago. He wanted to make sure that when they finally did make love again, she'd be staying after their vacation was over.

"Jayme, I can't," Nick whispered, moving away from her and crawling hurriedly from the bed. He needed to get away from her... quickly. "I'm sorry."

Jayme watched Nick run into the bathroom and felt her heart drop when the door closed behind him. She felt her eyes tear as she stared at the door. He didn't want her anymore? Had she honestly pushed him away and distanced herself so much that he was no longer attracted to her?

Jayme lay there, thinking and crying, until finally, out of sheer exhaustion, she fell asleep, her arms clutching Nick's pillow.