Your Winter: The Story

[based on the song by Sister Hazel]

Nick Carter glanced around the empty house one last time. He didn't want to leave anything behind ... he never wanted to have to come back again. And yet, at the same time, he was sad when he realized there were no more corners to clean, no more counters and table tops to wipe down; the place was spotless and there was no reason to stay any longer. With a constricted throat, Nick grabbed his jacket from the hook that hung on the wall next to the front door. This was it. The time had finally come.

This moment, this place in time, was meant to be the defining moment of their lives. The time when all of their pain was supposed to be coming to an end. Ironically, he'd never been in so much pain before in his life. All of the fights, all of the angry words, all of the broken objects that lay lying on the floor after every single one of their emotional outbursts ... none of those things compared to the constricting pain that Nick felt in his chest as he opened the front door, took one last look around the house they had once shared, and stepped outside. He stood staring into the house from the front step for what felt like hours, but were really only a few moments in a life Nick wished he wasn't living.

Even this monumental action they'd both decided to take wasn't easing the pain Nick wished so desperately to be rid of. If he was in such turmoil, what was she going through? He'd give anything to take away all of her sadness ... every single bit of it ... even if it meant they never would have met. But he couldn't do that. It was in the past and now all they had to do was look to the future ... separately.

They'd been so stupid; so young and so incredibly stupid.

~ * ~ two years prior ~ * ~

"You're going to love her! I promise!"

"Beej, the last time you set me up with one of your friends, I hated her."

"You're not gonna hate her," B.J. Carter insisted as she stared at her brother with determination. She knew they would hit it off. Her brother and her friend, Tristan Damon, were perfect for one another. "I assure you, Nick, you two will really like each other."

"I don't know, Beej." Nick sighed as he glanced away from his sister's persuasive stare. She'd set him up on dates before ... dates from hell, as they'd turned out to be. He wasn't too sure he was willing to jump back on that bandwagon again. With a groan he looked back to his sister, knowing he was about to cave. If anything, he would just give this a try for his sister's sake. "Fine, fine."

B.J. let out a squeal of triumph. She loved it when she won these kinds of battles. Now all she had to do was make sure this didn't blow up in her face.

"But, Beej," Nick said in warning, "if this goes to hell, I'm coming after you."

"Yeah, I know." B.J. stood in mock solemnity for a moment. A grin slowly spread across her face. "You're gonna love her, Carter!"

And he had.

~ * ~

He really had. They'd gone on the first date, and then the second, and then the third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth ... then they'd lost count. Their relationship grew quickly--really quickly--and before they knew it, the news was everywhere.

Nick Carter Finds a New Girl

Nick Carter Finally Gets Serious Again

The Girl After Mandy

Nick Carter Finally Finds True Love

It was nice, at first. Nick Carter's name was everywhere. And it didn't even bother Tristan that her name was, too. They were the perfect couple--B.J. had been right--and they were so madly in love.

At first.

But they'd been young ... and stupid. Real stupid. They'd barely made it out of the Every-time-I-look-at-you-I-go-weak-in-the-knees stage and into the I-really-really-love-you stage, when they'd decided to get married. Had it been a shotgun decision? Not exactly. They'd been thinking about it for a while, actually. But once they'd made the decision, everything was quick ... really quick. They got engaged, told the press, and got married ... all in a month.

They'd been real stupid.

~ * ~ a year after they met ~ * ~

"Nick, you have to be kidding me." Tristan rolled her eyes and moved away from him on their bed. "I thought we agreed not to go to anything that will bring public attention for a while."

"I never said that," Nick said with an indignant look on his face. Okay, so he couldn't remember saying it ... but sometimes he had a selective memory. He wasn't about to admit that now. "Don't put words in my mouth."

Tristan looked at him in shock. "I'm not! My gosh, Nick, do I need to start recording conversations with you? We agreed we would stay out of the limelight for a while and start a family."

"Tris, don't start that again." He sighed and glanced away. "We have all the time in the world to start a family. We've only been together for a year."

"It's a little too late to start taking things slow, Carter. We're married now, just in case you forgot. I thought we agreed to start a family as soon as possible."

"Well, other things have come up."

Other things always came up.

~ * ~

No, it wasn't all Nick's fault. And no, it wasn't always bad.

There were really good moments, too. There were the times they'd be across a room from one another and lock eyes ... and stay lost in each other. There were the times when he'd bring her flowers every day for weeks straight. There were the times she'd get up at four in the morning on Nick's days off to go to the grocery store so she could make him breakfast. There were the times he'd wake her up with kisses. And the times she'd give him back massages when his muscles were sore.

They really did love each other ... a lot. They just couldn't manage to let that be enough.

~ * ~ present ~ * ~

Nick finally closed the door, locking it behind him and leaving the key under the mat for the real estate agent to pick up later. He couldn't believe he'd never be coming back here again. He couldn't believe it was really over ... that they were really getting a divorce.

Tristan had been his life for two years now. She was the only girl he'd ever really, truly loved. She was the only girl who'd ever really, truly loved him.

But no matter how much pain he was in now, he knew this was for the best. He couldn't stand to make her cry one more time. He couldn't handle making her sad for one more day. He was letting her go because he loved her so much.

"Nick?"

He must have stopped breathing for a minute or two because by the time he realized that the normal thing to do was inhale and exhale, he was about to pass out. He turned slowly from the door and found Tristan standing just below the step.

"What are you doing here?"

He sounded so vulnerable; Tristan couldn't keep the tears from filling her eyes. This was the man she loved ... this man standing in front of her. Not the man she saw all too often. This man, who looked as though his heart was breaking into a million pieces, was the man she had fallen in love with; the sweet and gentle side of him that loved her just as much as she loved him.

"I thought that maybe you wouldn't want to close the house up on your own," she answered.

Tristan smiled gently and Nick saw something behind it. She hadn't come just to help him close up the house. He stepped down from the front step and grabbed her hands in his as she stood in front of him with big eyes.

"Say it, Tris."

"Say what?"

"Whatever it is I see hiding behind those tears of yours."

Tristan laughed quietly and buried her face in his shoulder in embarrassment. "Help me say it."

"But I don't know what you want to say," Nick said with a smile that was finally beginning to reach his eyes. "How am I supposed to help you if I don't know what you're thinking?"

"Stop teasing, Carter. You know what I wanna say."

"Hmmm," he looked thoughtful as he backed away slowly to see her more clearly. "You don't wanna do this any more than I do?"

"Yeah, something like that."

"Say it, baby."

Tristan took a deep breath before gazing up at him with a purpose, "I love you, Nick Carter."

"Good," Nick smirked, "'cause I was having a real hard time saying g'bye to this house."

"Oh, shut up." She laughed before throwing her arms around his waist and hanging on tight.