First of all...we hear that our fab-five pretty boys are going to be the new spokesboyband for Twix...and you thought the Caramello/Sprees thing made teenies go out of control? Just wait til they hear the guys singing the praises of cookies and caramel wrapped in creamy milk chocolate. *Rolls eyes*
Now, as if that isn't enough...I went to Target recently...I took this little girl that lives next door to me, her name is Kat. She calls me her "Nsync sister", and I think it's cute...but anyway, the kid is like a MAGNET for Nsync stuff. If there is ANYTHING with even the NAME Nsync on it in any given store...Kat will find it in 10 seconds or less...I would bet money on it.
So we're walking through Target, and I'm looking to buy a new VCR. Kat's Nsyncdar goes off, and here we are standing in the CANDY section. And there, for 99 cents a piece, are NSYNC LOLLIPOPS.
She asked me if I would buy her one. *Particularly the Joey one, because for some odd reason, she's REALLY into Joey...it frightens me, man...the kid is TEN!* So, because I like to spoil her rotten...*growls at the 100 dollars she spent on her for her birthday.* I put a Joey lollipop into the cart.
I walked away, y'all...really I did. But those damned lollipops kept calling my name from across the store! "BEXXXXXXX!" they screamed in a high pitch falsetto, *I think it was Chris.* "BUY US AND MOCK US CRUELLY!"
So...I did...*hangs head*
Yes, I am the proud owner of SEVEN...Count em...SEVEN Nsync Lollipops. *Okay, make that six...I ate one....and I'm being so kind as to scan the wrapper and show it to you.*
(Shown Actual Size)
And here...for your reading pleasure, are all the "Fun Fruity Flavors" these Nsync Lollipops come in. *The strawberry one was damned good...*
(Note: It says on the back of the package..."Try All Six Flavors" Well, I have seven of them...and I counted seven different flavors...hmmmm...are they trying to lead us astray? Or did I find the "Super Secret Mystery Flavor"?)
Group Lollipop #1 - Strawberry
(see pic above)
Group Lollipop #2 - Sour Green Apple
Justin Lollipop - Banana Berry
*Hence my new nickname for him...Justin will now be known as my "Little Banana Berry"*
Lance Lollipop - Lemon Lime
*Okay, EWWWW! Couldn't they have given him a SEXIER flavor? I dunno...like...champagne?*
Chris Lollipop - Very Cherry
*Not JUST Cherry folks, it's VERY Cherry!*
Joey Lollipop - Orange Blast
*Well, what did you expect? I don't think a Twinkie flavored lollipop would sell too well...*
JC Lollipop - Razzle Berry
*Kari suggested SPAZZLE Berry might be more appropriate. How bout it Nsync candy guys?*
Now tonight...oh god, tonight...I hear that there are now Nsync FRUIT SNACKS for sale in a grocery store near you.
WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?!? FRUIT SNACKS!?!?!?!?
I just told Alli that I MUST acquire a box of these fruit snacks...And no, I don't want them so that I can eat them...I want them so that I can laugh at them. I want them so that I can wake up every morning, and look at my box of Nsync fruit snacks and have a good hearty laugh before breakfast. I want them as a testimony to just how out of control this entire thing is becoming!
I guess I shouldn't be so mean...I can always look at the bright side...atleast now I really can Eat, Sleep, & Wear Nsync. *Not that I'd want to...but hell, it's an option...*
My only question, which I will pose to the people who put out this endless sea of Nsync Merchandise...
What's Next? Are the guys going to open their own chain of fast-food restaurants? How about a soft-drink company? Hey...I have a great idea...how about a conglomeration between *Nsync and Britney Spears for a fried chicken joint...You can call it "Breasts and Booty", and just think of all the money you could save if you go the Britney route and purchase PLASTIC breasts!
That's it from me for now, y'all...Now get out there and "Baby, Buy Buy Buy!"