It's a normal day, it's shift change (3:00 EST) on a Saturday. Lance is the first one to show up, since he is so punctual. He greets Vinny (the boss) with a smile.
Vinny: Hello Lance. How are you today? Is everything okay?
Lance: Hello !! Yes, everything is great. I'm a little early today, because I figured I'd relieve someone who's been here for a while. What position am I working today?
Vinny: Well, Lance, it seems as though you are working on the side register. Are you sure everything is good? There's no one bothering you?
Lance: Well, the guys at Roy Rogers' always whistle at me, but that's all.
Vinny: Well, that's sexual harrassment, and I can have them fired. Remember that Lance.
Lance: Okay, Vinny. I'm just going to go into the back, and put my apron and hat on, and I'll count my bank. Yippee !! I'll be able to greet the people. *Lance scampers into the back room.*
Vinny: Not a problem, I'm just going to stand here and look at dirty condiments stands, and tell the people who are busy making drinks to clean them.
Chrs walks up and Vincent angerily throws a wash rag at him. Chris kind of looks at it like, "and you want me to do WHAT with this?"
Chris: Hey Vinny, uh what's that for?
Vinny: Well, you're here now so you can start cleaning. What am I paying you for?
Chris: Man I'm not even clocked in yet. Can you wait a minute?
Vinny: Can the costumers wait a minute? What is the answer to that question Chris? The answer is no. So, please clock in, clean the table, then report back here, and I'll tell you what your position is for the day.
Chris walks into the little cubicle and swips his micros card, cleans the table, all the while mumbling about how he is an international pop star, and people love him.
Chris: Okay, I'm done, what am I doing today?
Vinny: You will be working the iced drinks. Is everything okay? How do you like the job? Are you getting along with everyone?
Chris: Yeah, everything's fine. Who am I working with tonight?
Vinny: Well, you're working with Lance, who's in the back. JC, Justin, and Joey, who aren't here yet, but they should be any second.
Chris: Joey's here, I saw him in Roy Rogers when I was coming in. Want me to go get him?
Vinny: No, I'll get him. I have to talk to him about somethings. I'll come back before I leave.
Chris: Yeah, alright.
Vinny walks over to Roy Rogers, and sees Joey stuffing his face full of curly fries and roast beef sandwiches. Joey notices Vinny coming, glances at his watch, and quickly shoves the last two sandwichs in his mouth, and chugs a large diet coke.
Joey: Hi Vinny, I was just going to come over. I was almost done here. I hope I'm not late. My watch says, 2:55 pm.
Vinny: Well, that's cause you have it set to real world time. Host Marriot time is completely different. It's at least ten minutes faster than real world time. So you are 5 minutes late.
Joey: I'm so sorry. I'll go over and clock in now. And I'll get to work.
Vinny: No, Joe. I have to talk to you about something. This schedule you gave me, has alot of unexplained dates. What exactly is, CCDw/K?
Joey: Umm..well. It's a caramelt creme date with Kelly. Is something wrong with that?
Vinny: So, I knew you were the culprit.
Joey: What? I don't get it.
Vinny: You were the one stealing from my secret stash of caramel. Why didn't you just ask me to order an extra case Joey. That was very immoral. I'm going to have to write you up. I'm sorry. Sign, here, here, and here. That's it. Now, get to work.
Joey: Oh okay. *Joey walks in the direction of Starbucks, with apron and hat in hand.*
When Joey reaches the cubicle, Justin and JC are already there. Justin has counted his register and placed himself at the front register and JC is busily working on the barista. Joey walks in, clocks himself in, and starts to look longingly at Lance who has his back to him.
Joey: Hi Lance. How are you?
Lance: Joey, could you make me a grande mocha brownie frapp? *hands Joey a grande cup*
Chris: No, but I could. *rips the cup from Joey's hand.*
The night goes pretty much routinely. Around 8:30 it gets slow, so that's when the guys start to get a little crazy.
Justin: Hey, has anyone seen, Joey? I think that it's time that he pulls stock, so maybe we can get out of here at a decent time.
Lance: I haven't seen him since he came back from his break. And that was at like 6.
Justin: JC. Uh JC !! *JC has his head positioned underneath the barista, and rapidly dispensing espresso shots into his mouth, straight from the machine*
Lance: JC !! What are you doing? Vincent did NOT make me team leader be witness to such behavior. I am going to have to request that Vincent write you up, JC.
JC:*shaking from caffiene overdose* Really ?!? Well, well. You got to get your high from somewhere, don't you? Now I'm ready to go. Come on Justin, give me drinks to make. I'm ready. I can do anything. Try me, come on come on !!
Justin: Yo man, chill. You be crackin' out. *Justin slowly tries to approach JC. JC in recourse starts flailing his arms going back to his days as an orchestra conductor. Scratch that invisible orchestra conductor.*
Lance: Justin, don't risk it. He'll come down. This happens all of the time. Just give him time. He'll realize that the coffee isn't crack, and then the rush will slow down, and he will feel alot better. Justin, do you need a long embrace to help you cope? *Lance starts to move to Justin, arms outstretched. Justin smacks Lance and pushs Lance away from him.*
Justin: What are you doing? I don't want to be groped by no bleach haired, Mississippi accent usin', horse lovin' sissy. So just, back up bitch !!
Before Lance can come back with a retort, JC begins to convulse on the floor, and then he speaks.
JC: Lance? Lance, are you there?
Lance: Yes, I am. What can I do for you JC?
JC: Please, help me up. Please. *Lance begins to make his way to JC*
Meanwhile, Chris is on his search for Joey. He makes it downstairs to the basement/storage room/office area of the plaza. Chris peaks into the stock room, and doesn't see anyone. He decides Joey isn't down there so he turns to go back up the stairs. Just that moment, he hears Joey's voice, and decides to walk into the office area. There he sees Joey and Vinny sitting at the conference, with various types of ice cream toppings on the table.
Chris: Guys what are you doing?
Joey and Vinny turn around abruptly giving Chris their best impression of deer caught in headlights.
Vincent: Hello Chris, can I help you? Is everything okay? Is anyone bothering you?
Chris: No, no one's bothering me. What is bothering me though is that you two are sitting here with a table full of stuff that makes you two look like deranged Willy Wonkas. Now could you please explain what is going on here?
Joey: Whatever you do, don't tell Lance that this is going on. He'll be so jealous.
Chris: What you do on your personal time is none of my business. Just what the hell is this going on here?
Vinny: Well, Chris. Joey and I both like to engage in the same sort of sexual stimulation, and we seem to like food products. Specifically, caramel, and well we are testing out the stimulation we get from the different temperatures of the ice cream topping. Now if you don't mind, I'll send Joey up in a few minutes. Do you need anything?
Chris obviously in a state of shock and disgust. He shakes his head, and tries to rid his memory of the sight before him. *use your imagination here*
Chris: Just bring up some stock when ever you are done, with whatever it is that you are doing. *Chris turns and runs out of the room, bounds up the stairs, and then practically collapses into the cubicle when he reaches it. By this time, JC is back to normal, busting out espresso drinks like nobody's business.*
Chris: Hey guys, guess what I just...*Chris takes notice of Lance's face and stops mid-sentence* saw?
JC: What did you see?
Chris: The...uh...new work schedule. It's posted. Go check it out.
Lance: Okay, Justin you can go. Here, take a piece of recepit paper, that uses heat to burn the prices into it, and when you rub it with a pen, makes cool black marks on it, and write down yours, JC, Chris, mine, and Joey's schedules on it. Here take this China pencil, and go. *Lance loving taps Justin on the rear, and Justin pulls his fist up. He sighs and leaves.*
Joey comes through the hall, almost walking into Justin, pushing a huge cart of stock. Lance looks at him with both lust and approval. Chris knowingly drops his head.
Chris: So, did I miss anything?
JC: Just normal stuff. Hey look, it's 9:15 would should start closing. You want to put up the doors? That way, since we're closed people can push themselves against them and ask us if we're still open?
Chris: SURE !! *Chris puts up the doors, and like JC predicted at least 20 people rammed themselves against them.*
The guys pretty much finished cleaning and clocked out with a few minutes to spare. If you were wondering why much work didn't occur, cause well, when I worked there, much work didn't occur. For me at least, I'd be the one hiding downstairs, avoiding work at all costs. Gettin' people's schedules for them, looking for a manager with keys. Sound like the ideal place to work? Think again. You'll still have Vinny who follows you around and asks you repetively if everything is "okay" and if there is anything "bothering you." The answer to those questions are, "no everything is not okay, you are up my ASS," and "Yes, Vinny. You are bothering me." Goodnight, and sweet lattes and CARAMEL machiattos..
Will you ever think of caramel the same?