Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Pairing: Nick Carter/Kevin Richardson

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise the Backstreet Boys are their own people.  The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life.  This writing is a work of fiction.  I make no money from this venture.

Dedication: This slashfic is for Ewan McGregor, the Savage Garden slashers, and David.

Wherein the pairing's still Nick/Kevin and not Kevin/Nick no matter what, and Kevin learns a few things, and be careful what you wish for...

Notice: Fifth in a series, blame David.

        Nick had asked him what he wanted.  He was Nick's, and that was all that he wanted.  But he loved Nick, and he wanted to know all of Nick, and there were some things about Nick that he didn't know.  If he could have Nick, just for one night, he might answer some questions.

        But he'd asked for too much.  He'd been greedy, and now Nick was angry.  Angry enough to leave him?  There were very clear boundaries in place, and he'd tried to cross one.  He knew better.  But Nick had asked him what he wanted, and he'd dared to answer.

        He expected to spend several long nights alone.  He didn't even bother to lubricate himself in the bathroom on the bus.  And instead of going to bed naked, for the first time in a year he crawled into bed in a T-shirt and boxers.  But he left the door unlocked.  Just in case.

        To his surprise, the door actually opened, and closed.  Nick locked the door and turned on the light; he blinked at the sudden brightness, sitting up in the bed.  Nick, too, was in boxers and T-shirt, arms crossed.  "What do you want?"

        "You," he said, then bit his tongue.

        "Be more specific.  You want to fuck me?"  Nick's voice was cold, hard.

        "No," he said quickly.  "Not like that.  I don't want anything...I don't want to do to you anything that you do to me.  I want...I want to know you like...like your lover would.  To see you and feel you.  To touch your...to feel it..."  He couldn't even say it.  "And your...mouth..."  He stopped short, ashamed.

        "You want to be my lover," Nick said slowly, amused.  "You want to pretend that we're lovers."

        "Yes," he confessed, heart pounding in love and fear.

        "All right.  I'll play."

        What?

        Nick walked toward the bed, arms uncrossing, and he leaned back a little, apprehensive.  "Go ahead.  Pretend I'm your lover."

        "I don't..."  He was confused.

        "Oh, Kevin," Nick said softly, sinking onto the bed, "I want you so much, please, make love with me.  My big strong handsome older lover, take me in your arms and show me-"

        "Stop it," he said weakly, and Nick started to laugh.

        "I'm sorry," Nick said, almost contritely.  "Really.  This is your present.  We'll do whatever you want.  We'll pretend that we're lovers.  We can even pretend that you're in charge.  Go ahead.  Take me.  I'm yours."

        He waited.  Nick didn't move.  They sat there, looking at each other, waiting.

        "Are you always this boring in bed?" Nick asked.

        "I'm really allowed?" he asked.

        "That's the whole point," Nick said with an edge of impatience.  "Don't get overexcited or anything.  It's one night only, and if you fuck up and do something I don't like, you'll regret it."

        He reached out slowly, expecting Nick to get up and leave or just vanish before his eyes.  His fingers met Nick's jaw.  Nick didn't have stubble, because they shaved before their concerts.  He slid his fingers past Nick's earlobe and to Nick's nape, and he tentatively guided Nick closer.  Nick leaned in at his urging, Nick's gaze dropping to his lips, Nick tilting just a bit in anticipation.  Contact, and his eyes closed.

        Nick's lips were soft, pliant.  He almost forgot how to take the initiative.  It had been a year since he'd actually had to kiss someone and not just let Nick's mouth fuck his.  He opened Nick's mouth and tasted inside it, licked over the roof of Nick's mouth, licked at Nick's tongue.  Nick's kiss was sweet and passive and somehow, whether because of this sweet kiss or because Nick was acting like a novice or because he knew that behind this forbidden kiss Nick must be plotting revenge, his cock was hot and pulsing.  It was exciting, kissing Nick like this, having Nick kiss him back like this, especially since it was a terribly far cry from Nick's normal behavior.

        He had to prolong it, lingering in Nick's mouth, sampling the delicate insides of Nick's mouth, nibbling at Nick's lower lip, stroking Nick's tongue with his.  Nick's hand was resting innocently on his knee.  He angled for a deeper kiss, deeper, and Nick sucked his tongue, and he shivered with desire.  Did Nick kiss other people this way?  Shy and innocent and just learning?  Did anyone get the real Nick?  What was the real Nick?

        He broke away from the kiss reluctantly.  He wanted to kiss Nick, this Nick, forever, that sweet hot mouth, but there was a lot more that he wanted, too, and he only had one night, or until Nick got bored of this game, or until he crossed a line and Nick got too mad.  He looked into Nick's eyes and couldn't read them at all.  What was Nick thinking?  He feathered his fingers back through Nick's hair and kissed Nick once more, Nick yielding and sweet.  Then he sat back and, avoiding Nick's gaze, reached for the hem of Nick's T-shirt.  He pulled it up and off, and Nick cooperated wordlessly.

        All right.  This was his present.  He was allowed to do this.  He reached for Nick and pulled Nick closer and lowered Nick back to the mattress, Nick's head at the pillow.  He caught a flicker of humor in Nick's eyes, and tried to keep from smiling in return.  They both knew how ridiculous this situation was.  But Nick had given him permission to play this game, and he was going to take advantage and play as hard as he could.

        So he lowered Nick to the mattress, and Nick sank back like a girl, damn it, and he got on top of Nick, kneeling over Nick's hips.  He kissed Nick's mouth, then took his time dwelling in familiar, beloved territory.  When he got down past Nick's navel, he saw how hard Nick was.  He wasn't surprised, since Nick usually got turned on during that process.  Testing his boundaries, he issued a command while reaching for Nick's waistband.  "Lift up."  Nick's hips rose from the mattress a bit, and he tugged Nick's boxers down, easing them over Nick's cock, pulling them down Nick's long legs and tossing them to the floor with Nick's shirt.

        Now he had his beautiful Nickolas spread out naked in front of him, his to do with as he pleased.  In theory.  Sort of.  He skimmed his hands over Nick's body, over long limbs, over soft satin.  "I love you," he said softly, tracing the lines of Nick's pelvic bone, not raising his eyes, not wanting to see Nick's reaction.  Nick didn't say anything, for which he was grateful.  He crouched down and gave Nick the blow job he'd always wanted to give, pulling every trick out of his book, taking his time and exploiting Nick's responses and sometimes keeping his mouth as soft as possible and sometimes suckling hard.  He wrapped his arms around Nick's waist and pulled Nick's groin to his face and fulfilled his fantasies.

        And there were no fingers crawling through his hair, no sighs of contentment, just a hot pulsing stream at the end.

        He closed his eyes and summoned his strength and leaned up over Nick again.  He reached for the second pillow.  He looked into Nick's eyes.  "Could you roll over?"

        Nick's eyes flashed fire so briefly that he almost missed it.  "You want me on my stomach?" Nick asked, as though for clarification.  He knew that Nick was only asking to give him the chance to backtrack and correct.

        But he said, "Yes, please."

        Nick very carefully sat up, took the pillow, shifted to one side, and laid on his stomach on the pillow.  Stretched out comfortably, he rested his cheek on the back of one hand and closed his eyes.

        He brushed soft kisses over the top of Nick's spine, ran his hands across Nick's shoulders and upper arms, licked tattoos.  He trailed kisses down Nick's vertebrae until he reached Nick's waist.  Then he put his hands to Nick's thighs and carefully eased them apart, pushing his luck.  He cupped Nick's rear in two hands.  He never got to touch Nick here, wasn't allowed.  Such soft, smooth skin.  He kissed it.  He very respectfully and gently spread the globes of Nick's ass to get a...oh...

        ...oh...

        ...god yes...

        ...perfect view of that pucker.

        It was little and pink, and it looked sweet and delicate, sitting there waiting and hidden and secret, and looking wasn't enough, he wanted more, he wanted to know it.  He leaned in and slowly, lightly, licked across it.  It drew up even tighter, denying him.  He licked it again, and again, lapping around it, not even thinking of penetration.  He wondered who else had been here.

        He licked his finger and touched the muscle directly, probed it a bit, just testing, not trying to get inside it.  It was so tight...

        Nick's lower body - - no, make that Nick's entire body, was tense.

        His brow furrowed.

        Every single muscle in Nick's body was clenched.  Nick's ass was drawn up so tight he had to admire Nick's muscle control.  Nick's eyes were still closed, Nick looked almost peaceful, except for the grim set of Nick's jaw.

        His eyes widened.

        Nick was a virgin.

        Nick.  Was.  A.  Virgin.

        Nick.  Virgin.

        This wasn't just sacred territory to him, it was veritable Holy Land.  Nick was a virgin.  He was willing to bet that he'd gotten farther tonight than anyone else ever had.

        He licked it again.  It pulsed and fluttered.  He licked it again, again, feeling that thrilling response, and his body started to hum with excitement.  But he respected this boundary above all others, and he didn't try to penetrate.  He drew a final, loving finger over the pucker and backed off slowly.  Then he rolled Nick over again, and kissed Nick's mouth.

        In retrospect, considering where his tongue had just been, he was surprised that Nick didn't backhand him across the face.  But Nick accepted his kiss, and sweetly kissed him back.  He still thought that Nick kissed like a virgin, and since Nick was a virgin, it made sense, but Nick was no virgin.  Where had Nick learned this shy-sweet fucking erotic kiss?

        Slowly, testing, he lowered his weight onto Nick's body.  Nick's arms came around his shoulders, holding him close.  It was a parody of a lover's welcoming embrace, but it was a lover's welcoming embrace, but they weren't lovers, but they were...  He just kissed Nick and let his cock drool onto Nick's hip and felt Nick's cock hard and hot against him.

        "Touch me," he said into their kiss.

        "Where?" Nick asked.

        He unwrapped Nick's right arm from his shoulders and laced their fingers, then lowered Nick's hand to his cock.  He let go and Nick's hand stayed there.  Nick made a little questioning noise into their kiss, and then Nick's hand moved, stroked, fondled.  He would have thought that Nick had never touched a cock before, with this tentative groping.  Nick's grip changed, though, became more self-assured, and then Nick had him in a shattering squeeze-stroke-pull with a thumb over the head that made his bones liquid.  He forced himself out of the kiss and reached down to still Nick's hand.

        Nick looked up at him.  "Sorry.  Am I doing it wrong?"

        That was it.  That was it, that was it, that was the final fucking straw.  "No.  That was fine," he said, and he knew that Nick was going to kill him any second now.  "I just want you to lick it."

        Silence.

        Blue eyes flickered from his eyes to his dick and up to his eyes again.  "Lick it?"

        "Lick it," he repeated clearly.

        Nick started to sit up, so he did, too.  "Okay," Nick said.  "I'll lick it."

        He fell on his ass, literally.  Nick's hand was still holding onto him.  On his butt, leaning back on his hands, knees up, thighs spread, he watched with terrified eyes as Nick leaned in towards him.  He had sudden visions of Nick pulling it off or, worse, biting it off.  What if Nick bit him?  How in hell was he going to explain that?  Could they sew it back on?  Oh god, oh god, oh god oh god ohgodohgod-

        Nick, blue eyes closing, lush blonde lashes.  Kiss-swollen lips, red, parting.  Tongue, strong, wet.  Licking up, up, one slow, long stroke, hot and wet on his cock, lingering at the head.

        Nick sat up, sat back, looked at him.  "How was that?"

        He didn't know what to say.  What to do.  That beautiful mouth had...Nick's tongue...he...

        Nick reached out and gave him a pull.  He came.  He felt every inch of the passion wracking his body while he stared at Nick, who gazed back at him dispassionately.

        He lunged forward and grabbed Nick and pushed Nick back and down, on top, kissing Nick hot and wet, and he knew that he was getting cum on both of them now, and Nick's kiss was sweet and loving, and Nick had licked his cock, he was still shaking from it, and Nick's mouth was sweet and soft, and he'd never ever forget this night.

        "Make love to me, please, make love to me," he whispered fervently.

        "Are you sure?"

        "Yes, yes."

        "We need...stuff."

        Perfectly aware that his true Nick would never say anything that vague in the bedroom, he tore himself away from the kiss and almost fell from the bed in his haste.  He got the lubricant from his bag and hurried back to the bed.  He knelt at the foot and uncapped the tube.

        "Hey," Nick said softly, sitting up, reaching.  "That's my job.  Come here."

        Oh.  He handed over the tube and moved closer.  Nick was still sitting up and pulled him in until he was kneeling astride Nick's hips, and Nick carefully got a little lubricant on one finger, then a second, and reached back behind him.  A slow, careful finger entered his body.  He braced his hands on Nick's shoulders and tried to be quiet.  Nick's finger twisted deep and triggered his prostate.  Nick looked up at him, all wide blue eyes and soft lips, and pushed in a second finger.  He leaned in and kissed Nick's upturned face, licked in for Nick's tongue.  Two careful fingers, Nick's mouth, and he moaned, and once he started to moan he couldn't stop.  Then there were three fingers, Nick never gave him three fingers, deep and full, he wanted to come now.  "I love you so much," he said against Nick's mouth, and then he went back to moaning, which maybe was safer.

        Then Nick's fingers left him.  "Are you ready?" Nick asked.

        "Yeah," he said, and forced himself from Nick's addictive sweet mouth.  He started to move aside, intending to go on hands and knees, but Nick's hand on his arm stopped him.

        "Can't we do it face-to-face?" Nick asked.

        "Yeah," he said, because they could.  He'd pay for this tomorrow.  Maybe he'd still be paying for it by this time next year.  He settled down on his back and spread his thighs, raised his knees.  Nick raised his hips and he settled his knees over Nick's shoulders and then he felt Nick's cockhead pulsing, hot and hard, right there...and then Nick was in, in, deep, full, overwhelming, and was he screaming?

        It was slow and gentle.  Nick started a pace and stuck with it, steadily thrusting against his prostate but not giving him enough to come.  He remembered this.  He used to do this himself.  This was a way to make love.

        He'd asked Nick to make love to him, and Nick was doing it.

        Nick even paused for a moment and kissed him.

        Nick's hand closed around his renewed erection and started to milk him gently, in rhythm with the thrusts.  Nick's hand even skipped up and gently teased his nipples for a moment.

        Everything was erotic and beautiful and completely foreign.  He was excited and thrilled and completely in love and on the verge of absolute terror.  It felt so good and it looked so good and it was everything that maybe their relationship should be, but it wasn't real, and he wanted to come and he wanted to stop it and he wanted it to last forever, forever and ever, but it wasn't real, and this Nick wasn't his Nick.

        The easy tempo started to pick up, and he started to shiver with want, and each jolt to his prostate flared through his body.  His nerves were sizzling and his heart was racing and his cock was jumping in Nick's hand and Nick was making love to him and he came, and dimly he heard himself professing his love again, and Nick kept going, and then Nick was coming, he watched Nick come, and it was beautiful.

        Nick rested on top of him, then eased free of his body.  They kissed, and they kissed, and finally he went to clean himself off, and he came back and wiped Nick clean, and when he got back from the bathroom Nick welcomed him in a warm embrace with soft kisses and teasing fingers and he fell in love all over again.

        "We should get some sleep," Nick said.

        "Yeah."  He nibbled Nick's earlobe.

        "Kevin," Nick said, fond, exasperated.

        He settled in, the two of them lying curled up together, his head on Nick's shoulder.  They pet each other and started to fall asleep.

        "Kevin."

        "Mmm."  That was the third time that Nick had said his name tonight.  Nick never said his name when they were in bed.

        "I hope that you liked your present."

        "I love you," he said, meaning it, treasuring the moment of being in Nick's arms, holding Nick close.

        "You want to hear my three little words?"

        It was a trap, an obvious trap.  "Yes."

        Nick's voice came low and soft by his ear, making him shiver.  "Fisting.  Water sports."