Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Pairing: Nick Carter/Kevin Richardson

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise the Backstreet Boys are their own people.  The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life.  This writing is a work of fiction.  I make no money from this venture.

Dedication: This slashfic is for Ewan McGregor, the Savage Garden slashers, and David.

Wherein Kevin remembers, wonders, and says, "Yeah."

Notice: David brought up Nick/Kevin (as opposed to Kevin/Nick), so I wrote "Privileged."  The relationship intrigued me, so I wrote four more stories.  Then David complained that I hadn't written enough - - first time?  Nick's POV?  More sex?  So now I have to write more of this series.  Blame David!

        "You remember."

        The very first time.

        He remembered.

        The Backstreet Boys weren't celibate.  They had to be discreet, of course, but there was no way they were spending their careers with only their right hands for comfort.  Sometimes they had a girlfriend, and sometimes they picked up someone just for the night.  Kevin didn't need to pick up a groupie after every concert, but sometimes he met someone, and sometimes that someone came to his room for the night.

        And sometimes that someone happened to be male.

        He had to be extra-discreet at those times.  The Backstreet Boys were supposed to be single; that was part of the package.  Five attractive young men looking for a girlfriend, and that girlfriend just might be whatever adolescent girl just happened to be listening to their CD at the moment.  They needed to be available.  They definitely needed to be straight.  It was all about image.  Kevin could play along.

        One morning, Kevin got up early to do...something-or-other, he couldn't even remember anymore.  He had to talk to one of their handlers about something.  Leaving his room, he stepped into the hall and locked his door.  Beside him, Nick's room door opened and a guy came out, the room service guy.

        Young, cute, and very flustered, closing his pants with fumbling hands, hair mussed.  He looked shell-shocked.

        Kevin was surprised.  He'd always wondered whether Nick might be bi or even gay, but he'd never suspected that Nick would do anything about it.  He knew that Nick picked up girls, but he'd never seen Nick with a guy.

        The room service guy saw him, turned bright red, and ran away fast, almost tripping.

        If the guy was this anxious afterward, and it might have been Nick's first time...  Kevin knocked on Nick's door.

        The door opened.  "Hey.  What's up?"

        Cheerful, friendly, not a tremor of nerves.

        Kevin respected Nick's privacy, and he didn't really have the right to ask, "So, did you fuck the room service guy?"  He did ask, though, and Nick said yes, and they talked about it for a minute; yeah, it had been Nick's first time with a guy, and yeah, Nick was probably bi.  For someone who'd just hit a major milestone, Nick seemed awfully relaxed about it, especially in comparison with the room service guy - - whose name was Michel, it turned out, and who apparently made a habit of going the extra mile for cute male hotel patrons.

        Wait.  Michel did this on a regular basis, and he was the one looking like a startled virgin?

        Kevin wondered just what had gone on last night.

        It happened a few more times that Kevin ran into someone just leaving Nick's room looking either extremely flustered or extremely well-sated.  Some were male, some female.  He saw at least one guy leave with a crippling erection.  Kevin became so curious that he was tempted to interrogate Nick's guests.  He did begin a pattern of getting up early so that he could lurk in the hallway and try to catch a glimpse of Nick's parade of lovers.  Sometimes there weren't any for a stretch, and then there were several in a row.

        When Kevin found himself sizing up a young blonde guy because of a faint resemblance to Nick, he realized that he had a problem.

        When he took the guy back to his room anyway...

        ...and worked the guy all night long...

        ...and was disappointed...

        ...he realized that this was more than a "problem."  This was a Kevin, you need serious psychiatric help, you're obsessed and not in a good way, get over it before you fuck up your life problem.

        Because he worked with Nick, the Backstreet Boys lived in each other's pockets, Nick was too young, they were great friends, he couldn't...couldn't...

        Couldn't what?  Drag Nick to bed and demand that Nick do to him whatever it was that Nick did to people that made them look like they'd just staggered from the bed of a sexual master?

        It wasn't like he'd ever thought that Nick was bad at sex.  It was just that he'd figured that Nick was just like anybody else in bed.  Apparently, he'd been mistaken.  And he wanted to know why.  How did a self-absorbed nineteen-year-old pick up sexual proficiency?  What did Nick do to those people?

        Kevin had never thought of "Nick" and "sex" together.  He'd never had a reason to do so.  Now, he couldn't stop.  He didn't think of anything else.

        Then one morning he was pretending to lock his door for ten minutes, waiting.  Ah, here it came.  The door beside his opened.  Who was it today?  A lovely young woman was coming out of the room backward, gazing up wide-eyed; she stumbled slightly, one hand over her chest, lips wet.  And there was Nick, lounging in the doorway, reaching out, pulling her close, leaning down and kissing her.

        Just a kiss.  Just one kiss.  And she was gone and Kevin was twenty-seven and still hadn't learned how to disguise his erection.

        Nick sighed.  "I hate this."

        Kevin forced himself not to stammer.  "What?"  That had sounded remarkably normal.

        "Having to go out and find people.  I wish I just had somebody who'd be there."

        "A girlfriend?"

        Nick frowned briefly.  "No.  Then you have to spend all of that time and energy.  We're on tour, Kevin.  We don't have time and energy.  I just need someone who'll have sex with me."

        That was incredibly self-centered.  Nick couldn't be bothered to spend time and energy on someone?  Nick just wanted cheap sex without even having to find someone first?  He just wanted someone to stand around waiting for him to be in the mood?

        Kevin could do that.

        Just one?

        And would he give it or get it?

        Get it.  He'd ask Nick to blow him.  See what that mouth could do.

        But that was pure fantasy.  He wasn't actually going to do anything.  Wondering and speculating was fine, that was okay, but he'd keep it to himself.

        Nick spent that week not having sex.

        In Jakarta one night, just as he was getting into bed, Kevin heard a knocking sound.  He frowned and looked - - oh, right, the rooms connected.  He walked over and opened the door.  "Hey."

        "Hey," Nick said.  "Can I ask you...this is going to sound really...if you say no that's okay."

        "What is it?" he asked, curious.

        "I haven't...with anybody for a while and if I jerk off anymore I'm going to get a blister or something.  You do it with guys, right?"

        "Yeah."

        "Could you give me a blowjob?"

        Kevin's brain stalled.

        "Just one.  Just tonight.  Just between us."

        He knew that he should say no.  There was no question in his mind that he should say no.  He had to say no.  He couldn't possibly say, "Yeah."  And even as he said it, his fingers were reaching, sliding over the soft cotton of Nick's boxers, crawling underneath to stroke up the soft skin of Nick's thigh.  Nick was young and pretty and what could it hurt, just one little blowjob.

        He knelt.  A question hit him.  "Are you clean?"

        "Hell yes."  Nick's hand tugged up his T-shirt a little, pulling it out of the way, exposing a slice of pale satin skin.

        With anybody else he would have demanded a condom, but this was Nick.  He trusted Nick.  He tugged down Nick's boxers, down to Nick's knees, then stroked up Nick's thigh slowly while he took a moment to look.  Well, here was one reason that people who left Nick's room looked reluctant to go.  He took the solid, warm flesh in one hand.

        "No teeth, okay?"

        Yes, thank you, Kevin knew what he was doing here.

        That was the last time that Nick asked him whether something were all right with him.  From that moment on, it was Nick's way or else.

        He stroked Nick's cock slowly, just admiring it, the stunning proportions, the veined column, the mouth-watering round knob of  a head.  Periodically he reached back for Nick's balls, fingered through blonde pubic hair.

        He kissed the sensitive skin inside Nick's thighs, licked around the base of Nick's cock.  Nick made a soft "mmm" sound.  Kevin liked sucking cock, liked giving other people pleasure, wanted to make Nick feel good.  Nick's erection swelled hot and hard, a lovely deep shade, alive on Kevin's tongue.  As he licked up Nick's cock toward the head, he felt a hand on the back of his head, not pushing, just resting there.  That was okay.  He didn't mind that.  It was kind of nice.

        Kevin's lips wrapped around the shiny smooth knob, fingers rubbing up the shaft.  Nick's touch tightened incrementally and he heard another "mmm."  The first taste of pre-cum was delicious on Kevin's tongue.  He licked up what he could and then moved off of the head, working down the shaft again.  He wanted to take his time, to make it good.  This was his only chance, the only time he'd ever have with Nick, and he wanted it to last.

        Fingers crawling back through his hair.  "You are good at this," Nick murmured.

        He took the head into his mouth again, moved down on it.  Should he go the whole way?  Oh, why not?  He relaxed his throat and swallowed.

        "Yeah," Nick said, gasping softly, hips moving toward Kevin in a gentle thrust.

        Oh this was so good, so good, so, oh yes, Kevin's eyes closed, hands on Nick's hips, thumbs moving in slow circles over Nick's pelvis, throat working.  Oh, god, Nick, it was so good, so perfect, so much, the taste of it, the full heat, rock-hard under such sweet silken skin, and yes, yes, the thick spurts of hot bitter salt, on his tongue, then down his throat.  Nick's soft moans were music to Kevin's ears.

        "God that was good."

        Kevin backed off reluctantly, wanting to lick some more but knowing how sensitive Nick would be.  He settled for licking his own lips, tasting Nick on himself, as he carefully pulled up Nick's boxers and tucked away Nick's heavy cock.  He looked up.

        "That was great," Nick said, cheeks flushed slightly, stroking his sex briefly through his boxers.  "Thanks."

        The door closed in Kevin's face.