The Old Apartment
c.2000
by Patti
*

It had been years since any of them had been there. It's only appropriate, JC thought from the safety of his car parked across the street. Externally it looked exactly the same as it had before...before...

He rested his head on his steering wheel and let out a muffled sigh. A knock on his window caused little response as JC wearily raised his head.

He let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding and attempted a smile. Unlocking his door he slowly removed himself from the confines of his vehicle.

"Chris man. How long have you been here," he said, pulling his friend into a hug. Chris returned the favor, holding on to his friend as if his life depended on it. Pulling away, JC looked into the eyes that he realized must be as red as his own.

"Long enough Jace. Great minds think alike, huh," he smiled, pretending not to know why they were both there.

"Should we go in?" Chris nodded.

JC took out his key and entered the home. Three years ago yesterday was the last time he had come in here. And the last time he left.

If only... The phrase intruded his thoughts, his eyes welling with tears. He felt Chris's touch on his shoulder.

"Don't play that game man. I've done it and there's no way anyone will win," Chris said softly.

"How did you know? Never mind...I know," JC asked and answered his own question.

Shutting the door behind him Chris walked further into the house before stopping in the foyer to look. His gaze settled on the small table to the right of him. A keychain lay haphazardly on a pile of unopened mail. A single rose sat in an old beer bottle-it was his first 'legal' beer and he had kept the bottle as a memento of the night. The rose rested in the it, completely dried out, was the only thing that had been affected by time. A reminder that this was the reality.

Chris stared at the table. He walked over and reached out to touch the mail, his hand stopping centimeters away, fingers trembling. He pulled back and looked at JC.

"Boy's got a way overdue BMG bill," he laughed. JC joined in but stopped when they heard a creak in the hardwood floor.

"Hello?" A voice called out from further in the house.

"Justin?"

The tall figure emerged from the shadows and a smile formed on his lips. "Hey guys," Justin said, embracing both men. He quickly looked down in an attempt to hide the tears that again filled his eyes.

Looking at his friends-his brothers-JC felt close to complete. "We're missing one of us now," he said.

"Two," Justin corrected him automatically.

"One," Chris gently reminded the younger man, his breaking as he did so.

"I gotta take a walk," JC said and gently walked away.

The hallway echoed with his footsteps, each one bringing a memory.

Hey Jace, I think I'm gonna put the records along this wall, what do you think?

God damnit Justin! That's my new rug you just puked on.

"Hey guys. She said yes. I'm getting married.

JC stood still, quieting the echoes, quieting the memories. He opened his mouth to exhale but was surprised when a loud sob took its place. Overcome by his crying he leaned against the wall and slid down it. Clutching his knees to his chest he cried three years worth of tears. Three years of anger and fear.

"It could've been any one of us! Damn it! It should've been me," JC wailed, allowing everything to escape.

Justin and Chris had been joined by the remaining man and stood watching JC crumble into himself.

"Hey JC," his friend said, crouching down to JC's spot on the floor. "It's about time you let go of all of that."

JC looked up at his friend and hugged him fiercely. Justin lowered himself, and Chris followed suit, sitting with his brothers. He held out his hand in the middle of them, palm down. Justin put his hand on top of Chris's followed by the others.

"To Lance," he choked out.

"To Lance."

Joining tears and joining voices they lived, in the very spot their friend had died.

**
Hello, John Norris for MTV news here. In the pop music news tonight is the three year anniversary of the brutal murder of *NSYNC member Lance Bass. The then 21 year old Lance was in his Orlando, Florida home when he discovered Mae Rickford, 17, who had been hiding in his house for approximately four days. When she approached him as he sat in his living room, Rickford pulled out a hunting knife and threatened Lance that she would kill herself if he didn't break up with fiancée Brigid Aplen. In an attempt to rid the girl of her weapon, she turned on him, stabbing him several times in the stomach, lung, and heart. When asked if they would ever regoup and put out another album the remaining members of *NSYNC: Chris Kirkpatrick, JC Chasez, Joey Fatone, and Justin Timberlake had no comment. We here at MTV keep them, and their loss in our prayers. More news at 10 to the hour, every hour, on MTV.