Leaving on a Jet Plane c.2001 by Patti
**My bags are packed, I’m ready to go/ I’m standing here outside your door/I hate to wake you up to say goodbye./ But the dawn is breaking, it’s early morn/The taxi’s here, he’s blowing his horn/Already I’m so lonesome I could cry**
Anna stood in the doorframe watching the still form that had monopolized all of the queen-sized bed’s real estate. How he could sleep through the cacophony she purposefully produced in her pre-departure frenzy remained a mystery that sat on her lips in a bitter smile.
God, I’ll miss him.
So wake him up.
No. We said our goodbyes last night.
Say them again.
Anna shook her head in an effort to stop the self-debate in her mind. One last glance at him made the decision for her. No, I won’t be able to handle that look in his eyes again. “Yes Joe, I will,” she whispered her answer as she retreated downstairs to the awaiting cab.
**So kiss me and smile for me/Tell me that you’ll wait for me/Hold me like you’ll never let me go./’Cause I’m leaving on a jet plane/Don’t know when I’ll be back again/Oh babe, I hate to go.**
“I hate this you know? You leaving me.” Anna looked up from her packing checklist and pursed her lips.
“I know,” she said softly, her voice tainted with guilt and aggravation.
“Do you have to go,” Joey asked, indignantly sticking out his lower lip for emphasis.
“Do you have to stay here and shoot your movie,” Anna countered, slightly letting go of her patience.
“What kind of question is that? Of course I have to shoot,” Joey answered, his voice raising along with his temper.
“Well, what the hell kind of question is yours? This is what I’ve been working my ass off for for the past three years. God damn it Joey, I’m opening for JoDee Fucking Messina. Do you know how long I’ve dreamed of doing that? I’m sorry that you can’t come, I wish you could, but you can’t. And I’m nervous and freaked out enough without you making me feel like the world’s worst girlfriend because I’m finally doing something that I want. My dream is finally coming true.” Anna rested her head in her hands. “I just…God. Aren’t you even happy for me?” She rubbed furiously at her eyes to avoid looking at an oddly quiet Joey.
He stood from the couch and crossed the room to where Anna sat surrounded by rolled-up T-shirts and balled up socks. Lowering himself behind her, Joey engulfed his girlfriend in his arms and rested his head on her shoulder.
“I’m an ass, huh,” he murmured into her hair. Anna nodded.
“Baby, I am happy for you. You have no idea how incredibly proud of you I am. I can’t wait until you’re the one on all the talk shows, and you’re the one holding the red-carpet interviews and I can say: ‘There. That incredible woman has let me love her.’” Joey sniffled and Anna allowed herself to lean further back into his strong chest.
“I’m just… Jesus. I’m a big baby I guess. I’m gonna miss you. I mean, it hurts me that I can’t be there and share this with you.”
“Now you know how I felt,” Anna said turning to face him. Joey was surprised to see that her eyes were moist with emotion. He leaned in and kissed the tip of her nose.
“How’d you do it? Watch me leave again and again?”
“I just forced myself to think about how wonderful the coming home would be. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, but I’d do it all again.” Joey smiled.
“How long ‘til we can do this again?”
“Too long,” Anna smiled.
“I’ll be here.”
**There’s so many times I’ve let you down/So many times I’ve played around/But now you know that they don’t mean a thing… **
Joey lay tight against Anna’s slender frame winding his fingers in the dark curls that spilled on to her pillow. She inhaled and exhaled in the post-coital way that normally filled him with contentment. But tonight the sound caused him discomfort.
“Babe,” Anna whispered. “What’s the sigh for?”
“Mmmmm?”
“What’cha thinking about?”
“Why are you here right now,” Joey asked unable to stop the question that had been holding his thoughts hostage.
“In general? Would you like the Biblical Theory or would you care for some Darwinian perspective,” she laughed capriciously. Joey sighed again.
“I mean, right here. In this bed.” Anna rolled over and saw the question on Joey’s face.
“Because I live here. Nice to meet you. Hi. I’m Anna, your girlfriend,” she giggled taking Joey’s hand and shaking it. He pulled it away sharply and rested his palm over his face.
“Anna, I’m serious. I need to know why we are still a ‘we.’”
“What the hell are you talking about,” Anna growled while searching Joey’s brown eyes for the motivation behind his question.
“You should’ve left me,” he said softly. “God Anna, when we first started dating…that first tour together…those girls…” His ramblings were cut short by a slim, manicured finger on his lips.
“Shut up Fatone and listen to me. You were a pig, a dog, and basically any other animal that eats its own shit. Which, if you remember correctly, is how you ended up with a shoe in your face one night.” Joey winced at the memory as Anna continued.
“You asked me for one chance. And here we are. One chance.” Joey remained silent as her words sank in.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice barely audible. Anna nodded somberly.
“If you think that I’m going to apologize now for that Timberland to your nose you’ve got another thing coming.” Joey’s laughter filled the night and he rolled over on top of Anna.
“I love you. You know that, right?” Anna smiled.
“Prove it.”
**Every place I go, I’ll think of you/Every song I sing, I’ll sing for you/When I come back I’ll wear your wedding ring.**
Anna sat in right next to the window, in seat 14-A trying to think about anything but the shudder of the plane.
“One, two, three, four, get your woman on the floor. Gotta gotta get up and get down. Gotta gotta get up and get down.” Coolio wasn’t helping her today. Normally the ridiculous song was enough to keep her mind clear and her nerves calm but damn her for asking Joey to prove that he loved her and damn him for getting out of bed and resting on that clichéd knee.
Damn that bastard for asking her to marry him.
Damn her for not saying ‘yes’ last night.
A veritable hurricane of butterflies had taken up residency in her abdomen. “Alright new song, new song,” she mumbled, while rummaging through her wallet, oblivious to the curious looks the passenger in seat 14-B gave her.
Anna pulled a small photo out of the plastic, accordion-like holder and sang.
“You’re just too good to be true. Can’t take my eyes off of you. You are like heaven to touch.”
The plane jolted fiercely to the sound of a small explosion. Anna was tossed forward in her seat, smacking her face on the back of seat 13-A. Above her head the ‘Fasten Your Seat Belt’ sign clicked on.
“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We are currently experiencing some mid-air turbulence and difficulties. Please return to your seats and await further instruction.”
Anna’s breath caught in her throat as she gripped the photo tighter. She choked out the next line of the song.
“I want to hold you so much.”
“Ladies and gentlemen due to engine failure we are being forced to make an immediate emergency landing.”
“At long last love has arrived…”
“Please stay calm and allow the flight attendants to help you with your oxygen masks.”
“And I thank God I’m alive.”
**So kiss me and smile for me/Tell me that you’ll wait for me/Hold me like you’ll never let me go./’Cause I’m leaving on a jet plane/Don’t know when I’ll be back again/Oh babe, I hate to go.**
“Joey! Earth to Joe. Where are you?” The director’s voice was shrill, propelling Joey back into the present. The present being a movie set in Orlando. The present not being in bed with Anna.
“Sorry Mack,” Joey said, unable to convince even himself that he was sorry.
“That’s fine. Take it again from the top.” Joey glanced around and blinked in confusion.
“Uh, what scene?” Mack threw up her arms in frustration.
“That’s lunch everyone. One hour.” Joey stood with his head down, running his fingers through his hair.
“Anna left today, huh?” Mack’s voice was uncharacteristically soft as she approached him. Joey nodded numbly.
“I asked her to marry me, Mack.” The director’s face broke into a huge smile as she reached out to embrace the man in front of her.
“Congratulations sweetie.” He shrugged her off.
“For what?”
“Because you’re getting married.” Joey shook his head.
“She didn’t answer me Mack. She hugged me, and smiled at me, and kissed me, and told me she loved me, but she didn’t answer me.”
“Yes she did Joe. She’s going to marry you,” Mack said, patting his hand.
“Yeah,” he said, mouth drawn.
“Go home Joe. We’ll shoot around you today.” Joey looked up in amazement at the woman before him. The woman who was notorious for not knowing what the words ‘day off’ meant.
“You sure?” Mack waved him off.
“Go. Wait for her to call. Before I change my mind.”
**Now the time has come to leave you/One more time, oh let me kiss you/Close your eyes and I’ll be on my way.
**
Joey lay tangled in the sheets, inhaling the faint scent of lilacs on Anna’s pillow. After Mack had sent him home, he contemplated shopping for Anna’s ring and then flying out to meet her—taking full advantage of Mack’s impromptu engagement gift. Instead he fell victim to the soft gray sheets and scented pillows. Reaching out, he pulled a small picture frame off of the night table and brought it to his face. He softly kissed the black and white image of Anna before hugging it to him.
The phone rang and reluctantly Joey pulled himself away from the soft cotton of the pillow.
“’lo?”
“Joey. Shit.” It was Lance.
“Hey man! How’s Los Angeles? Anna’s flight get in yet?” Silence. “Lance?”
“Oh God Joey. I don’t know how to tell you this…”
**Dream about the days to come/When I won’t have to be alone/About the times when I won’t have to say goodbye.
**
He didn’t have an umbrella. Joey stood surrounded by friends and family oblivious to everything but the squish of the land beneath him and the puddles that slowly gathered around his feet. He didn’t listen as the priest talked about the glories of God’s kingdom. He didn’t shift from his puddles as everyone around him moved to place roses on the cherry oak casket. He refused to look up and watch her get lowered into the ground. The same earth that had destroyed her plane and claimed her life was now claiming her body.
Joey dug his heels into the muddied ground wanting the earth to feel a fraction of his pain but the ground yielded to his movement. He felt a strong hand on his shoulder and didn’t bother in looking up to see who had come to comfort him this time. His tears, the ones he had been fighting to hold in, now fell freely from his eyes competing with the rain he wished would drown him.
“C’mon man. I’ll drive you home.” Joey nodded and allowed JC to lead him away towards the parking lot.
As his friend started up the engine Joey leaned over and turned on the radio, sitting back as the song filled the car.
**‘Cause I’m leaving on a jet plane. Don’t know when I’ll be back again. Oh babe, I hate to go.
**
