"It’s her again, isn’t it?" Lance’s question didn’t even have to be answered with words. The second he saw the look in Joey’s eyes he knew the answer. "How did you...oh nevermind...you always know...." He took a deep breath, fighting with his emotions as well as his thoughts. "I saw her yesterday," he finally whispered, running a hand through his dark hair, "I didn’t talk to her. I don’t even think she saw me, but I saw her."
Lance took a deep breath and sank back into the plush cushions of the sofa. Joey had tried to deny it forever, insisting that he just wasn’t ready for a commitment with anyone. What Lance knew was that he wasn’t ready for a commitment with anyone else but her. He didn’t want to admit it to anyone, but it was more than blatantly obvious that he loved her...that he had always loved her.
"Joey, you’re..." Lance started, but at that very second all of the thoughts in Joey’s head seemed to come rushing out. "I am an idiot is what I am. I lost the one woman that I could love forever. Lance, I love her. I’ve never said that before. I never even told her that. I love her, and I let her go. I just let her walk away because I was scared. Do you know how many times I have prayed to wake up and realize it’s just a bad dream...to find her sleeping beside me? I can’t even sleep. She’s in my head all the time...and when I do sleep she’s in my dreams. I mean...ugh...I don’t know what I mean."
Joey leaned forward, his head in his hands as he thought. Lance placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Joey, you’ve either got to talk to her or you’ve got to get over her. You’re going to drive yourself crazy if you don’t." Joey sat up again, looking over to his friend. "I can’t. She probably wouldn’t talk to me anyway. Why should she? I mean...she’s...I just can’t. Let’s go clubbin’."
Lance’s eyebrows creased as he watched Joey stand up and head for his room. He stopped, turning around to look back at his friend. "I can’t get over her though...it would take forever to get over her." Slowly he turned, making his way into his room. "She can’t get over you either," Lance whispered to the closing door as he reached in his pocket for his cell phone.
She had a hundred things she had to do...school was coming to an end...she had this last paper to write...finals to study for. Even with all of that to do, at the moment she was so lost in thought that she couldn’t make sense of any of it. She stared at the computer screen in front of her...it was blank. Completely empty...just like her life seemed. Without him, things just weren’t the same...she wasn’t the same.
She couldn’t shake the sight of him out of her head. She doubted that he had even seen her, but she saw him. He looked good, but tired...his busy work schedule was probably weighing on him. That’s the way it had always been for both of them. He worked so hard...and she was always at school. If only she hadn’t been so selfish.
She should’ve taken more time to spend with him...flew to see him...something...anything. She always had a paper to write...a test to study for...an assignment that just had to be finished...but when did she ever make time for him? When did she ever say forget studying and just be with him? She hated herself for it. How could she just let him go...how could she just let the man she loved slip away? Her head was a jumble of "if only" thoughts as she wiped away a lone tear from her cheek.
"Faith...girl, are you OK?" Sara’s voice finally broke through her thoughts. "Huh...what," she asked, her attention snapping back. "Are you OK," Sara repeated, the worry evident in her eyes, "you’ve been staring at that screen for almost an hour." "Yeah, just thinking," Faith answered, "this paper has to be done tonight, but at least I can finally say it’s the last one."
Sara shook her head, grabbing the chair beside her and sitting down. "You’ve got tomorrow to work on that paper too...it doesn’t have to be done tonight. I’ve never seen you get that emotional over a paper for school...even if it is the last one," Sara whispered, "now am I gonna have to dig it out of you or are you just gonna tell me?" Faith sighed, sitting back in her chair. "I should’ve known better than to try the easy way out." Sara smiled, nudging her arm. "You should know it won’t work by now."
"I was thinking about Joey," Faith whispered, her voice already taking on the familiar dreamy tone that always came with the mention of his name. "You still miss him a lot, don’t you," Sara asked, her eyes softening as she looked at her friend. "He’s all I think about," she whispered, her eyes falling to her hands, "and I just let him go." Tears formed in her eyes as she thought about him, and Sara pulled her into a comforting hug.
"Faith, why don’t you talk to him...just call him," Sara whispered, pulling back to look at her. "I want to, but I can’t...I mean why would he want to talk to me anyway? After all, I put everything else before him...I never had time to go see him...I always had a test to take or a paper to write. It all had to be done right then, and I didn’t leave any time for him. What reason would he have to even want to talk to me after that?"
The phone rang, interrupting their conversation. Sara stood up, a smile tugging at her lips as she answered Faith’s question. "Because he loves you." Faith’s eyes widened as she watched Sara walk away. The ringing stopped, replaced by Sara’s voice. Faith turned in her chair, eyeing Sara when she heard her greet the person on the other end of the phone. "Hey Lance..."
He stepped out of the shower, drying himself quickly. He was about to go crazy...everything reminded him of her. He felt like he was losing his mind completely. He went to the stereo, turning on whatever CD was in it. His heart fluttered when he heard Brian McKnight’s voice fill the room. She had always loved Brian’s music...she said it was just soothing to her soul.
He turned the CD on shuffle, singing along with the song that began to play as he got dressed. He let the memories flow through his head...trying to stop them was useless. He could name all of her favorite songs, but one stuck out. "Never Felt This Way" was playing the night they made love for the first time. He knew she probably already had this new CD, and he couldn’t help but wonder if she was listening to it right now.
"Stop it Joey," he scolded himself, "just do yourself a favor and get over her." "Joe, you almost ready? Wade is picking Sara up and then he’s on his way. Chris, JC, and Justin are already there." He took a deep breath, straightening his shirt. "Get your flirt on, Joe," he whispered to himself, knowing that the only flirting he would do was with a good stiff drink.
"Yeah, I’m ready," he called back to Lance as he walked back towards the stereo. He was about to shut if off when the songs switched. The words hit his ears like a drum....this song...it was her...
Sara huffed as she flopped down on the couch. "Faith, come on...you’ve almost got that paper done. Not to mention you have all day tomorrow. Just come." Faith shook her head, her fingers still at work on the keys. "I can’t Sar. I’ve just got to finish this. You go though...neither of us has seen the guys in awhile."
Sara stood up, making her way towards the computer. "That’s my point. They all miss you...and I mean ALL of them." Faith pushed her hair back out of her face, not sure of what to say in reply. "I’m sorry, Sar. I just can’t tonight. Tell the guys I’ll give them all a call." Faith went back to typing, pushing away the thought of Joey from her mind.
"ALL of them? Maybe you should say four of them. What about Joey? You can’t get over him, but you won’t talk to him. You tell me you love him, but you won’t go tell him. You’re sitting right there dying to go to him, but you are so scared you’re hiding behind another school paper. Faith, just think about this...maybe he hasn’t gotten over you either." Her fingers stopped typing as Sara turned and headed for the door. Her heart was beating so hard she could hear it pounding in her head.
She reached for the CD laying beside her on the desk. Brian McKnight was always soothing to the soul, and right now she needed that desperately. She popped it in, putting it on shuffle mode. The song started playing, a soft melody floating through her ears. She was about to go back to writing her paper when she heard the words of the song. Tears instantly sprang to her eyes as she listened.
She looked at the writing on the screen in front of her. She had done it again. She had the chance to go see him, but she put something else in front of him. Truth be told it was more fear that kept her from going, but not anymore. Not this time. She jumped out of her chair, grabbing her keys off the table. She had to go to him. This song...it was him....
The warm night air greeted him as he stepped out of the club. None of this was right. He couldn’t even dance with another girl without seeing her face. He took a seat on a nearby bench, his thoughts running wild in his head. He was the flirty one, the so called player. He didn’t date just one girl...he dated lots of girls. That’s what he made himself out to be, but it was all a big lie. One woman had his heart. She was everything to him....everything.
"Joey." His heart skipped a beat when her voice hit his ears. His eyes raised to the woman standing in front of him, and instantly a smile found his lips. She looked exactly the same as he remembered. Her eyes...there had always been something about her eyes. They still entranced him...he got butterflies in his stomach everytime she looked at him.
"I was hoping you would be here," she whispered, her voice a little shaky. He still hadn’t found his voice, so instead he slid over to offer her the place beside him. She slowly stepped towards him before sitting next to him on the bench. For a moment there was an awkward silence as they both tried to figure out what to say.
She wasn’t sure how she was going to tell him this, or how he was going to take it. She even thought about forgetting the idea all together, but with one simple gesture from him she completely put that thought from her mind. Her breath caught in her throat when she felt his hand on top of hers. Her eyes lifted up to meet his, tears trickling down her cheeks. "Joey, I..."
His finger touched her lips, stopping her words. His thumb softly traced her bottom lip before moving up to wipe away her tears. He leaned forward, his lips taking the place his fingers had just been. "I can’t either, Faith," he whispered, hugging her to him, "I just can’t get over you, and I don’t ever want to."
The second his arms wrapped around her she felt something she hadn’t felt in a very long time. She was in the arms of the man she loved. There were a lot of things that they had to talk about...a lot of things that just had to be said. That would come later. Right now the thing they needed most was to hold each other. "Faith..."
She lifted her head up to look into his deep brown eyes. There was something new there...his eyes had a different sparkle. "I was always too scared to say it, but I’m not afraid anymore. I love you..." She felt as if she could fly at that moment. Three words had never made her feel so good. She smiled up at him, leaning forward to kiss his lips.
He hugged her too him again. He just couldn’t seem to let her out of his arms now that she was finally back in them. He felt her nails gently scratching the back of his neck, just the way she always did. She turned, resting her head against his chest as he held her.
"Joey.." she whispered, looking up at him. He smiled down at her, looking into her blue eyes. "I love you too...." The smile that lit up his face was bright enough to light up the night sky. "...forever would never have been long enough to get over you."
Song Credit: Brian McKnight "Get Over You"
