He awoke once again, a cold sweat coating his body as he fought to slow down his breathing. He looked around him, his eyes finding a familiar place. He was home, in his bed. He ran a hand through his hair as his breathing finally began to slow down. These dreams seemed to be getting worse instead of better. The guilt he felt was still locked deep inside of him. Sure, to everyone else he seemed just fine, but it was when he was alone that his dreams were plagued. If he had been paying more attention, if he hadn’t been running late, or if just maybe he had waited a few more minutes. It all blended into one monotonous tormenting thought. He flopped back down on the pillow as his angry, frustrated tears began to slide down his cheek. "God, please help me," he whispered as he let the tears flow freely.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Hey there," a friendly voice called from behind as Faith made her way down the hall, "You look a little lost."
She smiled when she saw him, she knew he was the one. "Yes, I am. I’m trying to find Mr. Wright," she said, extending her hand to him in a polite handshake, "Hi, I’m Faith." He smiled at her as he gently shook her hand. He was absolutely mesmerized by her. "And you are..." she said, looking back at him with a playful smile as he shook himself out of his trance.
"Oh, I’m sorry. I’m JC. It’s very nice to meet you. Johnny is right down here," he said, turning to lead her down the hallway.
"You wouldn’t be JC Chasez, would you?" He nodded his head, turning to look at her.
"The one and only. By the way, you’re the only person I know that actually says my last name right," he answered as he pointed to an adjoining hallway before leading her down it.
"Well, I’ve been assigned to you, so it’s my job to know as much as I can," she said, her words taking on a double meaning.
"You’re writing my bio," he asked, smiling.
"Yep," she answered, meeting his smile with one of her own. He looked at her for a few moments, and she knew that he had seen something in her. Something that everyone she came to help saw in her.
She smiled at him again before he chuckled nervously. "Well, I guess I’ll be seeing you soon then. Right now I’ve gotta get to rehearsals before the guys kill me." She smiled and nodded her head as he pointed to the door they were standing in front of. "This is Johnny’s office."
"Thank you very much for your help, and I’ll probably see you later today."
He smiled and nodded his head. "I’ll be eagerly awaiting later today then."
She knocked on the door lightly as he turned to jog down the hall. She glanced up and nodded her head. "Yeah, I know...I know...I’m here to help him not fall in love with him." She heard a laugh from in front of her and her eyes lowered to meet the man she assumed was Johnny Wright.
"I know I’m charming and all, but maybe you should get to know me before you fall in love with me." She giggled, pointing up the hall as JC rounded the corner. "Ahh, I see you’ve met young Mr. Chasez. He’s a charmer, a very hard worker, and whether he wants to admit it or not he’s a real ladies man."
She smiled, her eyes finding his again, "I assure you that I’m gonna be very professional."
He laughed and opened the door wider to let her in. "I’m sure you will be."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Joey slammed the drumsticks down once again before turning to JC. "That is SO unfair. I’ve probably got some fat, bald dude with sweaty armpits named Bob, and you get this "heavenly" woman you keep talking about. I think I need to have a talk with Johnny."
The guys laughed as JC sat down on one of the large plush couches. They were all waiting on Johnny to come and let them know who was assigned to write their bios. JC was the only one that knew his so far.
"Joey, Johnny is not stupid. If he let a woman write your bio he’d have to chain you to a chair for the entire session," Chris teased.
"I hope you get Bob," Joey joked.
"I just hope we don’t have those stupid standard "what’s your favorite color?" questions," Lance said as the door opened and Johnny stepped inside followed by five new faces.
All the guys fell silent as Johnny walked in, offering everyone a seat. JC slipped over, patting the place beside him for Faith to sit down. She smiled before taking the seat next to him. She glanced around at the other guys who were all looking right back at her. The other young woman took a seat beside her while the three other gentleman sat on the other couch across from them.
"Alright guys, these will be the people writing your bios for the new book. I expect you to cooperate. Chris, please don’t give Whitney any trouble."
Chris laughed and stuck his tongue out at Joey. "She’s MINE."
"God be with you," Johnny joked as he looked at Whitney.
"I think I can handle him," she said with a light laugh as Chris smiled at her.
"Alright, back to business. JC you already know Faith. Jeff will be working with Lance, Tony will be working with Justin, and Bob you get Joey." Joey’s eyes widened when he heard his name as the other’s all laughed. "I’m kidding. This is Brandon. I’ve got a meeting to get to, so you guys have fun. The bios have to be approved in two weeks, so don’t waste too much time." With that Johnny left them all to get to know one another.
"Two weeks, so you’ll be around for the awards," JC said, pulling Faith’s attention away from Whitney and Chris.
"I’ll be here for as long as I’m needed," she said, smiling at him.
"Well, how about we go take a walk and talk. It might help you with the bio. You learn best when you talk to a person, right?" She smiled at him, nodding her head. He stood up, taking her hand and helping her up off the couch. His attention immediately fell to their hands, the sensation of her touch...it was the most indescribable feeling.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It had been almost two weeks since Faith walked into his life, and the thought of her walking back out scared him to death. For the first time in a very long time he wasn’t afraid of people. She woke up his senses, sending him spiraling in new directions. She showed him how to open up again, how to build a relationship with someone, and even how to love. He hadn’t had one of those horrible nightmares at all since he had met her. She comforted him in ways that he couldn’t even begin to describe. Angelic was the only word he could think of to describe her.
As he pulled on his jacket he had made up his mind. His bio was almost finished, but he was not about to let her go. She was the only thing on his mind lately, and even the guys had noticed how much he had opened up because of her. Their was only one thing he hadn’t shared with her. Several times she had tried to get him to talk about it after he had basically led her into it, but he just couldn’t. Each time though she understood. She didn’t push him to do things any faster then he felt comfortable doing them, and even that comforted him. He looked himself over one last time in the mirror before making his way towards the door. It all came down to tonight.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
JC glanced to his left where Faith was sitting, her gown shimmering in the soft light. Her blue eyes twinkled as she watched the stage, reacting to the show being presented in front of her. Everything going on around him had ceased, the only thing he could see clearly was her. The music, the cheers, and the applause all turned silent as he watched her. The moment seemed so magical until the next presenter came out.
His eyes immediately filled with tears. "Not tonight. I thought it was..." his words trailed off as the presentation began.
"Ladies and gentleman, tonight it is my very special honor to present this award. Though she is no longer with us, her music and her voice will live on. Please join me in a round of applause for Miss Carly Lindsey. She was not only a very respected musician and groupmate to me, but she was also my sister and best friend."
As a picture of her slowly lowered into view JC hit his feet. The audience applause began to roar in his ears as he ran from the auditorium. He didn’t know where he was going, but he had to get away from there. Away from the memory that still haunted him, away from the guilt, and away from the pain. He heard Faith calling from behind him, but even though he wanted so badly to let her in he just couldn’t. She would think he was a horrible person, she would hate him, and that he just couldn’t bare.
He ran into the nearly empty hallway, the tears blinding him. He looked in front of him, his teary eyes landing on Faith. "How did you..." his words trailed off as he looked behind him. She had been following him. He had heard her call out his name from behind him. His eyes widened, his tears still unconsciously falling in steady streams down his face as he took in the sight in front of him. "Faith," her name whispered meekly from his lips as he looked at her, her body casting a heavenly glow.
"You don’t have to be afraid anymore," she whispered, holding her hand out to him, "I know someone who can help you."
"Are you...an...an angel," he stumbled, awed by what he was witnessing. She nodded her head, her warm smiling casting an even brighter glow in his soul. She didn’t even have to speak, the words suddenly seemed to flow from him as freely as his tears. "Does he hate me for what I did? Does God hate me for what I did to Carly," his innocent almost childlike voice whispered.
"No JC. God loves you. What happened to Carly was not your fault. You were driving the car, yes, but you didn’t run that red light. JC, you’ve got to forgive yourself, and let her go. I happen to know that she’s in a better place now. Carly is singing with the angels now."
He couldn’t explain it, but as she wrapped her arms around him in a comforting hug all his worries drifted away. A peace flooded over him that he hadn’t known in such a long time. Her arms were so full of love and understanding, an overwhelming comfort that he had never experienced.
"I don’t want you to leave," he whispered, his hand slowly stroking her hair.
"I’ll never leave you, JC. I’ll always be with you. Carly and I are always watching over you," her soft voice replied, tugging on his heart.
"Will I ever see you again," he asked, lifting his head up to look into her bright blue eyes.
"You better," she said, watching a slow smile inch up onto his face.
"I will. I promise," he whispered, sliding his hands down to hold hers.
She slowly began to back away, JC still holding her hands until their fingertips could no longer touch. Moments later, she was gone. He stood their a moment staring at the empty space in front of him, missing her already. Yet at the same time, he felt like a new man. His eyes raised slowly, an ever present smile on his face. "Thank you. Thank you for sending me her," he whispered, turning to walk back inside the auditorium.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~>br> It had been almost a year since the night that JC’s life was changed forever. Not a day went by when he didn’t think about Faith and Carly, and not a day went by when the memories of the two of them didn’t make him smile. It had taken awhile, but with some help from above he had turned his life around. No longer was he spiraling into a pit of despair. He had even started a charity in Carly’s name to help underprivileged children, something Carly had been very concerned about. Now he was starting over again, and enjoying life day by day.
As he strolled into a downtown cafe’ he couldn’t help whistling. "Oh, excuse me," a familiar voice whispered after almost bumping into him.
He was taken back as he looked at her, she looked just like.... "I’m so sorry. I can be kinda clumsy sometimes," she said, a light shade of red creeping up onto her cheeks.
"It’s ok, really," he said, his eyes still locked with her bright blue ones.
"Faith, order’s up," the man behind the counter called, pulling her attention away from him.
"Just a sec," she called back before looking back at him."I’m really sorry, but I gotta get back to work." He nodded his head, the shock apparent on his face. She glanced back over her shoulder, a little confused at his expression.
He glanced up, a bright smile finding his lips. "Thank you," he whispered before making his way to the counter where Faith was now standing.

JC Chasez