Lance was really busy, so we couldn't get together for the big day. I sent him a card though, and here it is.
My card to Lance:
Toby is dead
That makes you blue
I Back My Azz Up
And so do you.
You used to be Ellen
And now you are not
How in God's name
Did you get so hot?
I didn't get an actual date with JC either. He said I needed to "flip the script" if I "wanted to get paid" or some ghetto shit like that. I just gave up on pursuing him, knocked on his door, and gave his friends this card...
My card to JC:
Crack is bad
Food is good
You have those two
Misunderstood
Someday Cracknuts
Stitches you'll need
When you hit your chin
With your knees.
I got a little bit luckier with Justin. He said that we could go out, but first he gave me a list of things I needed to do/bring before we could go anywhere. Here it is:
1) Bring a THONG. Thong th thong thong thong...
2) Let him kiss the Benz good night instead of me
3) I was not allowed to make fun of his fro
4) I had to call him Sir Crunkness
5) I had to wear baby blue
He said we would be going to a sermon on the importnace of rap music in America, and then head on over to Mommy Crunkness' house for dinner. Then, his mom would read him a bedtime story good night, and I'd have to hail a cab home. I told him never mind.
Next came Joey. We actually went out on our date, actually. we sat on his front lawn with a bucket of KFC, donuts, and Asswipé. It was sooooo romantic, and over the course of the date only 4 other girls showed up to join us. I was overjoyed.
Chris and I toilet papered the FATone house, let the air out of the Benz tires, stole Lance's Mississippi Bug Zapper, and replaced JC's crack stash with sugar. It was quite fun.
I also got a date with Steve Fatone. Of course he video taped the whole thing. We talked about how much he HATES Valentine's Day, and how much he HATES being less popular than Joey, and then he told me how much he HATES his camera. That was the most romantic one of all.
Yeah, I realize that wasn't funny.