The Place---Chicago
The Time---1934
The Cast of Characters---(in order of appearance)
Christopher (Babyface) Kirkpatrick
"Fat Lou" Perlman
Juju (Mad Dog) Timberlake
JC (Twinkletoes) Chasez
Joey (Muscles) Fatone
Lance Bass, Cub Reporter
...and the same loyal bunch of unpaid amateurs as Extras. Bless 'em.
* * * * * * * *
Twinkletoes Chasez stared after the retreating back of Babyface Kirkpatrick until he could no longer be seen. Shaking himself, he hurried over to his brand new sedan parked nearby. He pulled open the back door, and jumped in..
"Muscles," he ordered his new driver. "Follow Babyface, straight ahead! I want you to catch up to him---"
"And run him over?"
"What?" JC asked. "No! Of course not."
"Are you sure? Because I can make it look like---"
"Muscles. Listen to me carefully, because I don't want there to be any mis- understanding. I don't want you coming to me sometime whining, Well, you never SAID...." JC waited until Fatone met his eyes in the rear-view mirror.
"Yeah, what?" Muscles asked.
"I don't want you to ever--Ever-- run Babyface over. Okay?"
Fatone rolled his eyes, and snorted. "Whatever."
"Come on, just catch up, so he's in sight. But not so close he can see us." As the luxurious sedan purred along, Twinkletoes leaned closer to the window, and tried to spot Babyface. He thought he could just make out his black suit jacket, but there were too many people on the sidewalk, blocking his view. "Hey, wait a minute. Who is---is that? Oh no, it is. That son of a bitch. It's Mad Dog!"
"Want me to run him over?"
"What IS it with you and vehicular homicide?"
"Nothin', nothin' " Muscles nervously replied.
"NO, I don't want you to run him over. And until further notice, I don't want you to run anybody else over either. In fact, if I want somebody run over, I'll make a point to specially request it. Okay?"
A deep sigh. "Sure, boss."
The car pulled even with the staggering, stumbling figure of Mad Dog Timberlake. "Hey, Mad Dog," JC rolled down his window, and called out.
"Ya look a little winded there. Can we give you a ride?"
"Yeah, I'll give him a ride," Muscles muttered darkly. Mad Dog stopped abruptly. "Mario?" he asked in some confusion.
"Yeah, it's me, Mario," JC nodded. "You wanna ride or not?"
Mad Dog seemed even more out of it than usual. He kept looking after Chris' retreating figure, and then back to the car. Back and forth. Finally, he walked up to the car, and leaned in at the window. "You can give me a ride?"
"Sure. Just get in."
"You gonna help me catch my puppy?"
"Your puppy?" JC asked narrowly.
"Yeah!" Mad Dog's eyes gleamed. "I wanna catch my puppy, and make him squeal." He tilted his head, and giggled softly.
"Sweet merciful..." JC breathed. "Um, yeah. I am going to help you catch your puppy. But you have to get inside the car with us, see?"
"Okay." Juju hurriedly climbed inside the car, and sat a little too close to JC. "Mario!" he laughed. "Mario, Mario...."
"And it's the Cuckoo Express, taking off from Track Twenty-nine," Mucsles muttered. "Where to, boss?"
Away from Babyface, JC thought, that's for sure. Aloud, he directed, "Let's go see our friends down on 58th."
Mad Dog suddenly shifted in his seat, and stuck his head out the window. "Here, Puppy, Puppy!" he shouted. "Here boy, here boy. Come 'ere! I won't hurt you!" and the giggle that followed THAT statement froze the blood in JC's veins.
+ + + + + +
Vincenzo the bartender looked up sourly, as he noted Kirkpatrick's disgraceful entrance. Throwing open the door, pounding up the stairs as if his heels were on fire, and slamming his bedroom door shut with such force the sound reverberated all around the club. Young hooligan. Why Jimmy put up with such a guttersnipe was more than he could fathom.
Meanwhile, Chris was shaking under his bed. After about 20 minutes, when his heartrate had long since returned to normal, he began to think that maybe, just maybe, Mad Dog had been run over. Or some such phenomenal stroke of luck. Quaking, he hauled himself out from under the bed, and stripped off his now sweaty, dusty, disreputable jacket. Well, hell, look at that. A dry-cleaning bill on top of everything else. Chris collapsed on his bed, and sank back, to stare up at the ceiling, seeking answers to WHAT he could possibly do now. If only Jimmy could be counted on to protect his own employee, instead of being such a---well, such a weasel.
Chris was just toweling off when he heard the expected double knock at the door. Mario would always be sent up to announce Chris' first customer of the night. He had wasted too much time fretting, and had jumped into the bath to get a very hurried scrubbing with Ivory soap. He still refused to soak in that fruity bubblebath Jimmy had suggested he use. "It came all the way from Albany, New York," he'd said. "That's what all the big-city whores use." Ri-ii-ight, Jimmy.
"Mr. Kirkpatrick, Mr. Kirkpatrick," an unfamiliar voice was calling Huh? Chris opened the door a crack, only to see one green eye peeking in at him. "Oh! It's Lan/Ted/Bass/Baxter," Chris smiled, rolling the name smoothly off his tongue. "What can I do for you, Lan-Ted? Or should I call you Mr. Bass- Baxter?"
"Lan-Ted's fine. I--I mean! It's just Ted, Mr. Kirkpatrick, please, just call me Ted."
"All right, Lan-Ted. Now what do you want? I need to get dressed."
"Yes sir, I know. Mr. Vitaglia sent me up to say---"
"Who?"
"Mr. Vitaglia. You know." Lan-Ted looked embarassed, which made Chris all the more determined to make him say it.
"WHO?"
"Mr--Mr----Mr Weasel." Lan-Ted blushed. "You know. Our employer."
"Ohhhh....that bucket of chum called Jimmy the Weasel. Yeah. I know him. What about him?"
"He sent me to tell you that your first appointment's here."
"Well, la-di-dah." Chris sighed. "Tell the gentleman I'll be down in a few, okay?" He went to shut the door, then thought better of it. "Oh say, Lan-Ted. Did Jimmy tell you what my job is?"
"He said you're an insurance salesman. Why?" Reluctantly, Chris had to admit, that was pretty good. "No reason."
Lan-Ted smiled then, and said, "I'll just tell the gentleman you'll be down to review his policy shortly. Is that okay?"
Chris grinned. "Please do."
