If you don't know me already, my name is hippo.

I'm Liv's pet hippo.

I'm one of the squidgy things Becca has talked about.

Becca made up the word squidgy.

It's kind of like squishy and pudgy mashed together.

She says I have oddly placed nostrils, and that I like to swim in the ocean with the other hippos.

And...I can predict the future.

I predict that you're going to ask me what the future has in store for you.

I can't tell you that.

Soy Triste.

That little plastic dude with the black pompador tries to pick fights with me when Liv is asleep.

He thinks I want his woman.

It's a good thing Becca taught me how to fight with plastic humans...

She throws down with Barbie on a regular basis.

Barbie cheats at NSYNC Uno.

Bitch.

*thumbs her nose*

Liv often falls asleep with her tv on.

Last night I watched an infomercial on vaccums.

They suck.

But infomercials aren't always bad...that's how I met my boy, Muzzy.

I'm friends with Muzzy.

Muzzy is multilingual.

Muzzy OWNS you.

Muzzy taught Joey how to speak Spanish.

But don't EVEN suggest it might have been Liv.

Liv doesn't look like cookie monster.

Chris gave GaRy a cookie for Applesauce Day.

GaRy is my idol.

GaRy rode a squirrel to the Paper Factory.

JC once wore a coat made of spazzing squirrel fur.

Spazzing squirrels are the distant cousins of spazzing beavers.

Which, contrary to popular belief, DO live in Michigan.

And gather here every summer for Spazzing Rodent reunions.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Becca used to know the answer...

But I just asked her, and she growled.

Soy Triste.

Justin es el bolso de cabra.

You have to be careful when you tell him that though...

He gets REALLY mad.

It's funny.

Orange.

Yeah...you heard me.

Orange.

You don't get it, do you?

That's okay...

Not many people do.

Lance doesn't get it, either.

Lance doesn't get much of anything anymore.

The fans don't love Lance.

Lance gets no love.

Simply being loooooved, loooooved, loooooved!

Somnamubulist is really hard to spell.

In fact, I just spelled it wrong.

Oh, well.

I'm squidgy, I don't need to know how to spell.

JC bought me a kite in LA.

That's how he rolls.

Joey likes dinner rolls.

He hides them in his pockets for snacks.

Chris likes to roll down the street on his bike.

Sometimes, he lets me ride on the handlebars.

It's quite a rush.

Speaking of rushes, I'm gonna go now.

Mad love to my brothers in squidge.

hippo out.

[Which is sooo much better than bye bye bye.]