What are YOOOOOU doing?!
What's that? I'm super, thanx for asking!
You know, this morning JC and I were coming back from the bar and he asks, "So what did you get Mel for her birthday?"
I was like, "FUCK!" because I toally forgot about it.
And JC goes, "Dude, you're a moron. You better think of something fast!"
So I rushed home [to Mississippi]...
and in my drunken stupor tried to find something to give you.
I found some MSN software...but I remembered that you now prefer Apple products.
I autogrpahed one of my headshots and was going to frame it for you...but then I realized that's something Timbertampon would do.
Ooomph! HEY!
*Justin strolls in and shoves Lance out of the way*
I don't know why you want this fruitcake when you can have ME, Justin Timberlake!
Besides, I know you're a classy southern belle, do you really want a man who hoes around?
*Lance winces*
Stever, roll the tape!
*cuts to the sex tape of Lance and Kathy Griffen*
*Lance freaks out, Justin points at him*
HAHA! Y'all just got PUNK'D! Happy Birthday, Mel! Word. I'm out, yo.
*Lance stares after Justin, clearly pissed*
Er...sorry about that. Anyways, I didn't come up with anything at the house, so I rang up Chris and he said I could give you his Xbox 360 - on one condition:
I had to play him for it.
As you probably already guessed, he kicked my ass.
I'm sorry.
But then I thought...
I could do a magic show for you!
NO! Don't leave! I'll lose the clown nose, I promise! But at least let me do the awesome magic trick I've been working on.
Just for you, I will make an old friend reappear...
TA-DA!
No, not that reject...it's the FRO! I made the FRO reappear!
Mmkay, maybe J would've been more ecstatic about that. I'm trying here!
Okay, seriously. After I sobered up, and with a little help, I finally came up with the perfect birthday gift for you.
By the way, Joey says hello and "I guarantee that you *points* are going to love it! Betcha can't guess what he got you!"
Go on, guess!
A whole new wardrobe? No...but I did pick up a spiffy new cowboy hat.
Super Bowl tickets? C'mon, you know I'm only going to Detroit to hit up all the Super Bowl parties. Maybe I'll even run into Liv, who's a host committee volunteer!
A brand new car? Pssh, dream on girlfriend!
Okay, do you really wanna know what I got you?
I went to my friends at NASA, and after making some radio transmissions phone calls and pulling some strings, I got you...
THE MOON AND THE STARS!
Because you deserve nothing but the best, girl. Love you! :)
