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Peace, Love, & Bass - Happy Birthday, Chris!
¬ » ¦ [¯_] ` '. _ ¦ []-. { 10/ 17 / 03]
¬ » ¦ [¯_] [Bex, Julez, Dia, Katie} ` ' . _ ¦ []-.
¬ » ¦ [¯_] ` ' . { i s s u e # 18] _ ¦ []-.
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(''')[] `'.Opening Note` ' . _ ¦ []-.
Happy Birthday Christo!
You've got the cutest little baby face!
Hey folks! It's BexXx, and I know what you're thinking...a THIRD issue ALREADY! I know! I know! We're wonderful! But what can I say?
This though isn't your ordinary run of the mill issue of PLB...this issue is dedicated solely to the birthday boy himself, Mister Christopher Alan Kirkpatrick! We're sending out BIG birthday wishes to the little man, and we wanted to share them with you, our faithful readers!
So sit back, grab yourself a Yoo-Hoo and see what we've got in store!
BexXx
P.S. Credit for some of the pics goes to kirkpatrick.nu. Thank you! :)
(''')[] `'.Who Let Tha BexXx Out? ` ' . _ ¦ []-. Whatcha think?
A Birthday Poem for You, Chris
By: Becca
Once upon a time in `71...
A baby was born, and a saga begun...
And before this little baby even took his first piss...
His momma looked him in the eye and said, "Your name is Chris!"
Now early life wasn't easy for the hero of our story...
Finances were tight, and living conditions gory...
But Chris' momma worked real hard, and brought her son up right...
And soon he was workin' at Universal,
In jeans that were really tight.
Chris' voice was really high, it made the ladies swoon...
And he was in his element, a place where he could croon.
Little did our hero know, that not too far away...
Worked a dude named Joey, who'd be his bro someday.
One day Chris was chillin', prob'ly drinkin' a beer...
When all of a sudden something came to him, he had a great idear!
"I think I'll start a music group!" Chris cried out with glee...
But then he realized he'd had too much beer, and so he had to pee.
After he went potty, he called up his friend Joe...
"We're gonna start a group, man! Call everyone you know!"
So Joey called up his friend Josh, better known as JC...
Who hadn't had a decent job since he did MMC...
And JC dialed up on the phone, a little guy named Justin...
Who'd bring more soul into the group, as well as a little thrustin'.
There was some dude named Jason, but he didn't have a chance...
Because as all of us fans do know, the last member was Lance.
They thought and thought about a name, and as they stopped to think...
Justin's mother hollered out, "You'll call yourselves NSYNC!"
This name fit them very well, because they all were one...
And they were working harmonies til the setting of the sun.
They had some fun in Europe, where crazy girls would scream...
But Chris just sat back and watched, the reality of his dream.
They came back to the USA, and cut an album here...
And all of them knew in their hearts that their time was drawing near.
They danced and sang, and danced and sang, there was so much to do...
But the most important thing they did was got rid of fat-ass Lou.
Now free from bondage, Chris and co. made NSA, you see...
And this one was much different, than the other two CDs.
Records broken, fans gained new, NSYNC was off the charts...
They bolted out of oblivion, and straight into our hearts.
Now Chris was seeing his big dream, finally come to light...
The world was taking notice, and NSYNC was taking flight.
With marionettes, and lip balm...the merchandise wouldn't quit...
The marionettes were pretty cool, but the lip balm tastes like shit...
After NSA came out, the land was all abuzz.
Would the next album prove to be all that it's predecessor was?
Chris was doing other things, besides NSYNC you see...
He was making clothing, that would NEVER FIT ON ME!
His clothing line was really cool, in fact you might say "Neato!"
He had a weird name for it too, he called it FuManSkeeto...
FuMan soon became defunkt, but NSYNC was going strong.
He knew that with a zillion fans, his group wouldn't go wrong.
So out on tour, our hero went. They traveled far and near.
And fans from all over the world, showed up to watch and hear.
Chris was now living the life he'd always wanted to live.
And NSYNC made their fans so proud with all they had to give.
Then summer came, and NSYNC gave new things to hear and see.
A brand new tour, and album, which they called "Celebrity"...
The tour was awesome, I saw it a total of five times!
But I think it might have been better with a bunch of dancing mimes...
No really though, I loved the show, I thought it was a trip...
The best part of all was when we got a chance to watch Chris strip!
Now time's gone by, and things have changed, and NSYNC's gone on break...
But to hear they have broke up would be much more than I could take.
But this is not about what I would like to hear from them...
This is a happy birthday to one of my favorite men!
So Christopher, where'er you are...on this special day.
Just know I'm sending wishes, and good thoughts over your way.
And if on October 17th, you go out and party hard.
Don't drink too much, or lose your keys, or blow your credit cards.
Just know that we at NJEF and our E-Zine, PLB,
Wish you the greatest birthday that a birthday could ever be!
And if by chance you stumble on this silly little rhyme...
It might be cool for you to stop and drop me just a line!
My birthday's in December, so you still have time, you see.
To sit your ass down in a chair, and write a poem for me!
Happy Birthday, Chris!
With all my love,
BexXx
(''')[] `'.Jabbering With Julie ` ' . _ ¦ []-. OMG haha!!!
As the search for our dear Julie continues, we are happy to announce that her column will no longer be vacant. The PLB staff would like to welcome Nicky, our newest guest editor, who will be filling in temporarily. :) You can email her using that link up ^ there, next to the title.
After seeing that Joey had filled out our survey in the last issue, Chris decided that he could be funnier and sent it on over to us! Okay, okay...so he didn't really fill it out, but Nicky does a pretty good imitation.
Subj: Survey
Date: 10/13/2003 12:45:16 AM Eastern Daylight Time
From: PleaseSendMoney
To: SandlerBSB
Full Name: Christopher Alan Kirkpatrick
Nicknames: Lucky, Pinapple, studmuffin (so I made it up, sue me)
Age: 32.....going on 16
Birthday:October 17, 1971 (hey..its my birthday, im gonna party like its my birthdaY!)
Location: In a bar
Hair Color: Black
Eye Color: Sexual Chocolate (joey always steals this line from me, that fat bastard!)
Shoe Size: 16 (LADIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEES)
Height: 4`11
Weight: 175
--MUSIC STUFF:
1. Who's your favorite band? Busta Rhymes! I wanna be like Busta Rhymes!!
2. What's your favorite song at the moment?: From this moment on.Kelly Clarkson rules!
3. What's your all-time favorite song?: I feel pretty
4. What's your type of music? Techno......expecially when Im on drugs
9. BSB or *NSync? BSB BABY!
12. Who's your favorite female singer?: Gwen Stefani....I would dirty pop her anyday
13. Who's your favorite male singer?: Michael Jackson......cuz I know what it feels like to be called a freak *sniff*
18. Is your band famous, if you're in one?: We`re Nsync....and I made this band, and Justin got all the damn credit. Douchebag.
20. What CD is in your CD player right now?: I sold my cd player to buy drugs and booze....
44. What band posters are on your wall?please....I only have my shrine to bruce Lee on my walls......oh..and my playboy section, bu that doesnt count.
--WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE:
1. Food: Mexican *starts singing* BEANS BEANS THE MAGICAL FRUIT, THE MORE YOU EAT EM, THE MORE YOU.........
2. Drink: vodka
4. Clothing Acessory: Fuman.......even though we didnt do well in buisness, I still wear my clothes! Damn the man!
6. Color: Silver...but Im not sure why, Im just an idiot.
10. Family Member: my mom. I think Im suppost to say that.
2. Hawaii or New York: Hawaii..........cuz I got raped in New York once. I thought it was Joey, but I think the girl was just butch. I was drunk though, so I dont remember it that well.....hmmm
14. Concert or Television: Television...I have to watch stripperella or I would die a very unhappy old man.
1. Are you crazy or are you more laid back? Crazy, I once tried to make everyone laugh by putting toothpaste up my nose. It burned for a week, and I still can smell the minty freshness.
3. Memory you would like to forget? Seeing Lance naked and pretending he was Britney...*shudder*
9. What car do you drive? After my last D.U.I, Ive been walking a lot.
10. Do you ever make prank phone calls? Only to Justin. I pretend Im Britney, and talk dirty to him. He started crying the last time, so I stopped.
13. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?:his name is petee, and he lives in my pants.
15. How many buddies are on your list? 4...........but I guess the guys all are so busy I cant get ahold of them. Im the only one not doing something lately, I need to start a new band..........
17. Who do you hate most?: Justin.............for ovious reasons.
19. What kind of shoes do you like? The kind that go on my feet. *smiles*
20. What are your wearing (accessories and all, in detail) right now?: a towel, and a big smile. I AM THE GOLDEN GOD!
22. What are the last 4 digits of your phone number? damn....Joey took my 68 answer........
23. What is on your mousepad? Tyra Banks......thats why I bought a sperm guard.
24. What is your most prized possesion: My bruce Lee autograph, and my Justin voodoo doll *hehehe*
26. Who do you look like? a filipino woman
29. What's the best trick you ever played on someone? That time I told Lance I was gay and he...........wait..........nevermind.
30. Do you have any tattoos? What of? I try not to take my shirt off, the hair is growing faster these days. Plus, Im too drunk to remember. CHEERS!!
(''')[] `'.Featured Pic (brouhgt to you by BexXx) ` ' . _ ¦ []-. Got a funny pic?
Thank you to Liv, whose idea it was for this poster. :)
Liv's apology: Hey guys. In order to read the poster, you'll have to save it to your computer. Be forwarned that it's a VERY big image. Sorry about that, but I didn't have time to fix it for the zine. I'll be resizing it this weekend, though, so if you want the correct size, just email me.
(''')[] `'.Freebies ` ' . _ ¦ []-. Comment, Question, or Donate here
Mmkay, y'all know that Chris is the voice of Chip Skylark on the cartoon show, "The Fairly Odd Parents." The freebie we're throwing in this issue is the mp3 of Chris singing, "My Shiny Teeth and Me," from the episode Shiny Teeth. Because ya know...we really miss the how he makes us laugh and show our own shiny teeth. :) *Njoy!
(''')[] `'.Contest!!! ` ' . _ ¦ []-. Submit your banners HERE
We're still running the graphics contest mentioned in the last issue. The prize is a 100-piece mini NSYNC puzzle. (When completed, it measures 5x7.) With 2004 right around the corner, we're in need of a new copyright banner. The banner MUST include the phrases, "Copyright PLB 2000-2004" and "Hey you. Don't Steal. It's not the Mississippi thing to do." Colors, fonts, special effects...that's all you, so long as it's a picture of Lance. Contest deadline is November 1. Good luck!
(''')[] `'.Link Swaps ` ' . _ ¦ []-. Send your link swaps here
We no longer accept ads. However, we DO accept links. AOL tends to freak out when we try to insert ads due to the complex HTML of colors and such. For back issues and more of our original humor (never before seen in PLB), visit our sister site *NSYNC Jaded Everybody's Free We're NSYNC-approved, and there are more birthday dedications to Chris!
You •CaN •HaTe •THeM •NoW
....orginal hate and humor....
anti - britney spears Pepsi Porn ; The Real Life ;
I Speared Brit ; She's The Weakest Link ;
Pop Princess Wannabe ; Sucky Spears ;
A Whore's World ; Her Royal Slutness ;
Shitty Britty ; Princess of Porn ;
Put Some Damn Clothes On ;
Simply Sucks
anti - christina and britney Bashing Lyke Whoa
anti - bsb and nsync Anti Bsb & Nsync
anti - christina aguilera Anti X-tina
anti - britney and justin Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum ;
Justin + Britney = Bullshit
anti - willa ford Anti Willa Ford
britney spears humor all the BIG things ; Plastic Barbie
nsync humor CHUNK ; Peace , Love , & Bass ;
Cracknuts & the Tour Bus Whores ;
NSTINK Makes Me Ill
pop humor Nasty Nasty ; Whore of The Nation ;
I I Wanna do crack wit Chu BayBay
join all zines join the ring
Kritt's Zines:
mp3pm [one mp3 a day - pop, hip hop, r&b]
NOTsync [girlfriends; friends; parents etc of nsync zine]
Step in Cow Turds -- Random Humor
NAJY -- Random alphabetical humor
Star Struck -- Lance Bass Fan Zine
spync -- Britney/NSYNC
Just Josh *N James -- JC/Lance Fan Zine
*NPics -- Daily *Nsync Pics/Graphics
Curly and Sleepy's Mansion -- NSYNC Zine
Places In Your Heart -- NSYNC Fan FIc
konstantine -- writing. music. random.
Goober Graphics -- Nsync/Britney graphics
*Nsync Drama -- *nsync tv dates, video clips, mp3s
Forever.... -- Buffy Zine
WANT GREAT FREEBiES ?
I WANT FREEBiES
(''')[] `'.That's all folks... ` ' . _ ¦ []-. *sniff* but, but, but!!!
This 18th issue of Peace, Love & Bass has been brought to you by the letters H-A-P-P-Y, B-I-R-T-H-D-A-and Y! Pygmy's are only funny if they tell the right jokes. Liv was not harmed in the making of this issue, but she ran out of stamps to mail Chris' birthday card. Bex offered gifts of fruit and livestock to the gods in honor of Chris' birthday. Mel didn't like Celebrity, but she plays a mean marimba. Dia has a hairy mole on her left butt cheek. Please send me hate mail. Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy, a kid'll eat ivy too, wouldn't you? If you happen to see Julie laying around somewhere would you kindly pick her up and ship her back to us, this is getting ridiculous! Thank you for your time and consideration, enjoy your meal.
You know the rules. You may take the humor if you want to keep it for yourself. If you want to use it elsewhere, we beg that you maintain the decency to at least ask us first (links are right above.) If not, we'll send Wade J Robson after your unoriginal ass.
PLB Main - EF Main
