The Pros And Cons of Dating Justin Timberlake
By: BexXx
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Peace, Love, & Bass
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(''')[] `'.Opening Note` ' . _ ¦ []-.
Hiya! Welcome to Issue 19 of Peace, Love & Bass!
We are working our ASSES off over here to bring you guys humor! This is the what? Third issue we've put out in less than a month, I think! I'm really proud of my writers and everyone else involved with putting this zine together...you guys rock!
Just a quick note...please send in your submissions for the copywright graphic contest! I'm dying to see what you guys have up your sleeves! There's a prize involved! So get to creatin'!
Anyhow...enjoy the issue! And as always if you have questions/comments/requests/death threats, go ahead and email me! I'd love to hear from you!
Last one into the pool is Lou Pearlman!
~BexXx
(''')[] `'.Who Let Tha BexXx Out? ` ' . _ ¦ []-. Whatcha think?
The Pros And Cons of Dating Justin Timberlake
By: BexXx
Hey everybody! I had this idea, and I decided to try and run with it. I don't know how it's going to turn out, but if it's good, and you guys seem to like it, I'll do one of these on each of the guys...so email me and let me know what you think!
Many girls...Especially Nicky and I...would KILL for a chance to date Mister JT. But even though that would probably be a wonderful and life-changing experience...*Rolls eyes* I'm SURE there would be a bad side to dating him...I mean, honestly folks...the guy IS human and he DOES have faults...*Ask Liv*
So here today I'm going to list the good things and the bad things about dating Justin...as I see them anyway.
As Nsync said so long ago...
HERE WE GOOOOOOOOO!
The Pros:
10. Look at him...he's eye candy!
09. His pockets are FAT...no need to worry about who's going to pay for your dates.
08. If you look at the way he dances and moves those hips, there is a good chance that the boy is very good in bed...and that's always a pro!
07. He could sing you the phone book and make it sound good.
06. All the McDonald's you could eat! I'm Lovin' it!
05. You might get a chance to meet "Big Jim and the Twins"...(If you don't know what I'm talking about, go here...)
04. You're dating a guy who can sing with Kermit The Frog, and still not be considered a homosexual!
03. If you get bored, you can bounce quarters off his stomach.
02. If you're really lucky, and he marries you...Lance, JC, Joey & Chris will be at your wedding!
01. YOU'RE DATING JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE! (duh...)
Cons:
10. Bodyguards watching you while you have sex can kinda ruin the moment...
09. Teenage girls and grown women all over the world will hate you and make websites proclaiming how badly they want to see you killed...
08. It'll get boring to hear him end every sentance with, "Because I'm Justin F*cking Timberlake!"
07. A woman can take only so much of Trace Ayala...
06. There will be no room in the closet for your clothes due to all the shoes.
05. After a while, his mirror obsession just isn't "cute" anymore.
04. You'll have to ward off annoying phone calls from a drunken and teary-eyed Britney Spears every night just before bed...
03. Honestly, how many times can you watch his videos without wanting to hurt someone?
02. He cries his own name out during sex.
01. That thing with his mom...I mean, seriously...how healthy IS that?
And that's it! The good and the bad things about dating Justin Timberlake! Wanna see me cover the other four guys? Email me and let me know!
Peace, Love & Justin is a douchebag!
BexXx
(''')[] `'.Dia's Doughnut ` ' . _ ¦ []-. Ain't that funnay?
One day I was sitting at home eating a ho-ho when a thought hit me. I should go to the gym. Luckily for me, it was just a fly by thought and I continued flipping through the stations jumping between trading spaces and general hospital, and munching on my ho hos. But somewhere between stuffing my face and exercising my thumb, I thought “I wonder what a day at the gym with Joey Fatone would be like”. So here’s what my idea of what would happen if we were to have a journey with Joey to get in shape. ~dia
(as joey)
The other day I was looking in the mirror, and realized that my profile is starting to look a little like a woman in her 3rd trimester of pregnancy. A mere shadow of my former less pregnant self etched in the stretch marks that were once on the way to becoming a 6 pack. I sucked in my gut, jutted out my chin, and still, the results were discouraging, I decided then and there that that day would be the start of a new me. First thing was first though…….. Breakfast at McDonalds! They’re doing that monopoly game again and I just need one more piece and I’ll win a trip for 4 for Court Time with Venus & Serena Williams. Not that I play tennis really well or anything, I just want to see Serena’s ass move while she runs.
Anyway, after McDonalds I decided I’d go to check out what Jenny Craig had to offer. It worked for a princess, it should work for me. Not saying that I’m a princess, that’s more lances’ territory, but whatever. I checked their specials $1 a pound!! I was speechless, but wait, there’s fine print. Ohhh, the pound they were referring to wasn’t food, it was weight. Well that sucks; I thought I was going to get a deal on some beef briskets or something. Screw that. Around that time it was lunch, I wasn’t really hungry until I got back in my car and “I’m lovin’ it” comes on. It’s not my fault that I ate again directly after that. It’s McDonalds and them damn subliminal messages, besides, I just needed that one monopoly piece, that I DID NOT get that morning.
Half an hour later and half the day wasted I decided I’d put that membership to 24 hour fitness that Laura Flynn Boyle bought for me to use. But first, I had to find some work out clothes that fit me, so I drove over to the nearest wal mart, bought some girl scout cookies out front, went in, bought some gear to work out in, and walked out, dumping the then empty box of thin mints into the garbage.
At last, I arrived at the gym at around 3pm; I walked in and decided to take a tour before I put myself to work on the machines. When I first walked in I saw a bunch of stinky burly guys whose necks were thicker then Justin’s Ego, not impressed, and immediately crossed that section off of my ‘to do’ list. I then grabbed a schedule and noticed that a yoga class was going to start in half an hour. A flashback of Madonna doing some interesting poses on some magazine came to mind and I decided then and there that I would definitely attend that class, which meant, I had 30 minutes to kill. I didn’t want to look like I wasn’t doing anything so I went into the bathroom to check out the place. I was shocked to find a couch and TV in the locker rooms, but then again, I knew I wasn’t the only one who killed time till something good came along. So I sat down and watched an episode of friends (I do NOT look like Ross), then left to go to the Yoga class. As I approached the room to where the fine flexible hunnys would be, a fine little trainer lady approached me and asked me if I’d like some work out sessions. ARE YOU KIDDING!?!?! OF COURSE I WANT SOME “WORK OUT” SESSIONS!! Unfortunately, she really meant work out sessions and not work out sessions, so I politely told her to bite me, and tried to not be bitter about the fact that I was now 10 minutes late to Yoga. What happened next was truly scary and I don’t wish to get into it, but let’s just say that apparently that particular yoga class was for senior citizens *shudders*… I ran my ass out of there, and broke a sweat doing so.
After the yoga disappointment, I decided that I didn’t belong in that gym so I left. 10 minutes or so after I left the gym, Chris calls me and asks me if I want to meet him at Dave and Busters to play video games and drink some beer. Of course I said “hell yeah” after the day I had, nothing can put me in a better mood then just relaxing to a nice cold beer or 12 and kicking ass at video games. Chris wanted to get on that dance groove machine, but I told him I already went to the gym and had a very exhausting day, besides, it was time for dinner and I still didn’t have the last piece of the monopoly game I needed to see Serena’s ass!!
It’s been a few days since that all happened, and I’m seeing no results, I guess I just don’t have the metabolism like some people do, at least I tried.
(''')[] `'.Featured Pic (brouhgt to you by BexXx) ` ' . _ ¦ []-. Got a funny pic?
"I don't KNOW though, Jennifer...it only comes in YELLOW! Yellow makes me SO washed out!"
(''')[] `'.Freebies ` ' . _ ¦ []-. Comment, Question, or Donate here
Y'all should know by now that Chris is the voice of Chip Skylark on the cartoon show, "The Fairly Odd Parents." (C'mon, we even TOLD you in the last issue!) This time the freebie we're including is the other Chip Skylark hit, "Icky Vicky," from the episode The Boys in the Band. *Njoy! :)
(''')[] `'.Is that the end? ` ' . _ ¦ []-. NO! Head on over to Page 2 for more fun and laughs!