"Oh yay. Another record exec. Hey ma? How about next birthday you bring me a football or an Elmo or something?"
"Oh what heights we'll hit, on with the show this is it!" *jazz hands*
*Baby!Justin gasps and throws his hands in the air with glee* WOW! Britney Spears! THANKS MOM!
"Whatcha mean u don' wike my hair dis way? Wats a purm? Mommy?"
*Mommy Crunkness ponders* Hmm...I wonder how much coverage I could get for his quaff...
After taking this picture, they removed his hair helmet so it could be polished appropriately.
*Mommy Crunkness in background talking* Smile like Momma honey, cause when you're rich we're gonna hire somebody to level Mommy's floor, yes we are!"
"CHEESE!"
Sadly, she STILL dresses and feeds him like this when he comes home to visit. But what's TRULY disturbing, is the photographic proof. *blink*
*Reporter and Mommy Crunkness in background*
R:"Why did you call me to interview your child?"
MC: "Because he's gonna be famous, feel honored!"
R: "Really, cause he just looks like he's gonna be sick."
Jrat: "I can sing, listen! Cause my hands are sweaty and my knees are weak!...Can I go back to the basement now mommy?"
MC: "No darlin, I have to take this nice man upstairs for a minute and talk about your career, you just stay here."
"Momma won't let me play with the other kids because the premium will go up if anything happens to my quaff. What's a quaff?"
My god...his bangs are feathered...No wonder Justin is...well...Justin!
Jrat: "Mom why won't anyone play with me?"
MC: "Because baby, momma told them that you were better than they were at everything, and they're jealous."
*holding up his right hand* "Mom, I solemnly swear that I won't mess up my hair..."
Wax on...Wax off...Well done young Grasshopper.
"Mom, couldn't you have hired prettier people to play with me?!?"
J: "Ma, this helmet is entirely too big!"
MC: "Gotta protect the quaff, baby, gotta protect our bread and butter."
Oh, I'm SO calling him "bread and butter head" from now on...
James Lance Bass
BabyBass: *Deep voice* "Daddy, why won't the block fit?"
Dad: "Because that hole is too small son."
BB: "But, I heard you tellin Mommy that the holes were ALL too big to keep you home!"
*sings* Square pegs, square pegs. Square, square pegs. Always never quite right...
Always never quite right... And if THAT quote doesn't epitomize Lance Bass...I don't know what does. Liv, you're a genius!
*Lance thinking in deep voice* "I told her I wanted the fluffy pink bunny, and the bitch brings me another fat fuckin dude-bear."
That's so wrong. I have no class.
I sitll have my teddy bears, and they would've kicked the Bass bear's ass.
Then I don't have class either, because I laughed at Tabz's comment.
The possibilities of jokes using "fat fuckin dude-bear" are pretty much endless...*nods*
*Lance thinking again, going for a world record* "If I lean my head back just a little, I can slip it right into this nifty noose and be done with these backwards bastards."
The sweater, the haircut, the same age. For serious, he could've been Makauly Culkin's understudy in Home Alone.
Except for the fact that unlike Macaulay Culkin's high pitched scream...Lance's would have launched earthquakes in movie theaters worldwide...even at that age.
"Well kiss my ass and color me pineapple!"
GO GO TRADING SPACES!
Lance's short-lived job as a traffic conductor proved fruitless.
I don't give a damn what you people say, Lance's head looks Photoshopped onto that body. He's not that tall! OR SKINNY!
I'm sorry, but I'm distracted by his date's dress. The Fashion Police should charge her with a felony and that...thing...should've stayed in the '80s where it belongs.
I agree with Tabz...Frankly, I think their heads were reversed.
Continue on to Part Two