Chris is climbing on the chairs and sniffing plants
Chris: I tell you what, it was CRAZY! Not just like the ordinary kind...but crraazzzaaayyyyyyy kind of crazy. I got me some phattie cool gifts though.
Therapist: That's good Chris, I'm glad you did. Now how about those dreams you've been having?
Chris gets off the chair and moves up in the therapist's face
Chris: Don't bring up my dreams you sick fat ass!!!! They are none of your doggon business!
Therapist: Chris sit down and tell me, what did the tree do this week?
Chris sits down in tears and sniffles
Chris: The tree tricked me. I was wandering through the forest doing crazy stuff, cause I'm crazy like that ya know? So like, I stop at this tree to pick some crazy lookin' flowers, and after I pick em' I look up and this tree looks like a hella phat woman. So I'm like hey baby, and the tree is tellin' me she's easy and she wants me. And I was like score, and well I took my pants off and screwed the hell out of the tree and when I look back again its a tree!! I didn't know it was a tree, I thought it was a woman.
Chris is sobbing and shaking with his head in his hands, when all of a sudden Joey bursts through the door wearing some very small spandex underwear bearing the superman emblem and a tiny super shredded cape. At second glance...oh good god!!! Tuck it in man! Lance is behind in his super cowboy crime fighting outfit: black boots with spurs, black leather chaps that reaveal his ass in a tight pink thong, a black leather vest with fringe reading "Cuz I'm From Mississippi" in hot pink stiching on the back, a black cowboy hat, and a gun holster holding matching hot pink scissors and a hot pink comb, stood prepared for the fight that lay ahead.
Joey: Alright lady, Chris is commin with us...I suggest you comply.
Lance: Yeah, he's done here and I think you are too, cow poke.
Therapist: Excuse me! I am in a session here, get the hell out!!
The therapist draws her stun gun, Lance pulls out his identical pink hand gun comb and scissors, and Joey whips out a week old twinkie, green with decay
Chris: Woohooo take her down!!!
Therapist: Shut up you overpaid overweight ass!
Joey: Don't call me overweight!!!!
Therapist: I wasn't talking to you fatty!
Lance: Everyone shut the fuck up before I kick all of your asses.
Everyone turns and looks at Lance in awe as Chris breaks a tree branch and holds it out towards him.
Joey: Damn yo, I don't wanna mess with none of that.
As Joey backs away from Lance the therapist *zaps* him with her stun gun and ceckles evilly. Stepping forward, Lance cocks his gun and combs her hair all jacked up like.
Therapist: Ahhhhh...ohhhh that was dirty, lil cowboy. Ima take you down.
Grabbing for his scissors Lance cuts a huge chunk out of her hair.
Joey: Nice one man.
Lance looks at Joey to see him layin on the floor eating stale crackers.
Lance: I thought you got zapped?
Joey: I did! Hehehe!
Therapist: That's odd...I could have sworn I had it turned all the way up.
Examining the stun gun, she sees it is on high and holds it down against Joey firmly. Joey is vibrating.
Joey: Yeeaaaaahhhhhh baby! Give it to me harder! Hmmmmm you know mah spot, woman.
Hearing the commotion, Justin and JC get a chainsaw and saw down the open door. The therapist turns and looks at Justin with his unkept, untamed hair frazzling every which way.
Justin: DAAAAYYYYUUUMMMMM LAANNCCEE!! WHY YOU GOT TO BE RIPPIN' OFF MAH COMB AND SKISSAS BROTHA??!!
Lance: Damnit Justin, why do you always have to be up in my thing trying to rip me off of some glory. I mean, I am just a brother dawg. And I would like to also keep it real.
Justin: What the shit crack you be smokin'? An I thought me and mah brotha C man was keepin' it real in the bathroom. Shii man, gawtdamn you be a pussy...keep dem combs ah'll just get me some new ones yo.
JC: Is it haloween?
JC starts laughing uncontrollably and dashes out of the room only to re-appear seconds later in his crackmasta funk daddy outfit (daisy dukes in metallic orange and a tube top in vibrant orange). Tapping his nose twice Justin followed JC's lead and switched into froilicious the crime fighting sperms mode...Justin was neked.
Justin: Ah don't know about you miss thang, but mah fro needs a pick!
Therapist: THIS IS ILLEGAL!!! For the love of Christ, you're naked!!!!
Nsync in Unison: We're Nsync!
Lapsing momentarily the guys prop their thumbs up and grin wildly.
Justin: I really like when girls are willing to wait.
JC: Abstinance is the only 100% safety!
Chris: I'm a 29 year old virgin.
Joey: Twinkies are my alternative sexual expression!
Lance: Boys are nice :)
Therapist: At least you realize it.
Adjusting his dukes, Joshua steps up to confront the therapist reasonably.
JC: Look, what's your name? Linda? Hi Linda...ya know, the guys and I...we don't have a PROBLEM with therapy so to say...its just, well see we don't like you. So we're going to collect our belongs and run along before there's any kind of problem...good? Goooooddd Linda. C'mon guys let's clear out.
Lance: Nice meetin' ya lil' lady.
Joey: I'll give you this old twinkie for a new twinkie...
Justin: You never even got to see my spermies, here's mah number yo, call me sometime.
Chris: Bitch!
JC: Right, now we're all taken care of.
As the guys are exiting, Justin stops and hands Linda his number, Joey berates her about storing twinkies illegally, Lance shakes his ass in her face and Chris smacks her. As JC is headed out the door behind everyone else, Linda can't hold back.
Linda: Somebody owes me 278 dollars!!!
Grabbing a hold of the door frame, JC stops and lets his eyes fall to slants. Turning slowly he notions for the guys to go on ahead.
JC: Pay you...hmmmmmmmmm that issss a predicament....
Picking the door off the ground and leaning it softly against the door frame, a series of high pitched yelps and screams were heard from the office. Exiting the guys all greeted JC and left.
JC: There's her payment...she could get well over three hundred for that on e-bay.
Justin: Yo Chris man, what you thinkin' he left mah bitch?
Chris: I don't know man but I bet it was crazzaaayyy!!
Lance: Hey where'd Joey go?
TO BE CONTINUED
