Hello. If you're at this site and read my submissions, please don't hate me. I really do respect you guys. Just think about it... anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of. I would just like to say a little something to the following people....

Justin: I like your hair. I know it gets a lot of crap from me but no matter what it looks like, it's still crunk. I don't think you're stupid. I like the way you talk. I think it's cute. I'm sure Britney is wonderful and im glad that you're happy. Baby blue is a sweet ass color. Yes, we do share 1/2 a birthday but I really don't want to sleep with you (well... maybe a little! heehee!) I think you're very talented and blessed! Keep up the good work! I don't know why your letter is so short. Probably because I dont make fun of you that much. You don't give me a lot of material. Come to think of it you should be apologizing to me damnit! Haha... kidding. I still love ya J. Even though you don't give me a lot to go on.
P.S. Im kidding about that sleeping with you thing. I think...

Joey: I don't think you have a bad body. I think you're cute :o) Sexy even. And actually I dont actually think you're dumb either. I don't understand why people call you lazy. If you're lazy then how do you get out there and do what you do? I LOVE your voice Joey. You blew me away on SNL babe! I happen to think the way you handle yourself in interviews and specials is very cute. I'm sure you'll do great in the movie (BF Greek wedding right?) And I'm even more certain that you will do great in years to come. I love ya Joey!

Chris: You're NOT old. And I think you're hella funny. BUSTA is a cute lil' pug and I can't wait to get something from the FUMAN spring line. I admire your ability to be honest about a lot of things that are personal to you. I LOVE YOU CHRIS!!!! lol. The little random things you say and do are HILARIOUS to me. (Seattle's on fire!, Time to make the doughnuts) I would say if I ever met you that we would have a lot to talk about but I seriously doubt that. You would have me laughing so much I wouldn't be able to get any words out! I just want to thank you for making me laugh countless times and for giving trees & funnel cakes a whole new meaning!

Lance: Howdy! We probably mock you less now that Olivia is in charge (you know she loves you) but I still want to say im sorry. I don't think you look like a girl. (Does that sound mean? It's not supposed to sound mean.) It's not true, but we have said it. It's all humor baby. And no your adams apple won't take over the world like some of us feared. (phew!) :o) And im sorry that your horse Toby died. I've always wanted a horse. I still do. If I ever get one I'll name him Toby just for you. Im sure Mississippi is a great place to live. (Not as good as Detroit though, Sorry.) And you probably are the level headed on of the group. I heard about your house. It sounds sweet! It makes me wanna move South. Need a roommate? I'll be here if you do!
P.S. I think you're sexy. Just thought I'd add that. ;o)

Jayce: Look... Im sure you dont really beat people. Hard anyway. And im only half sure about the crack thing. Hey it could be acid or heroine!!! :o) Kidding... You've got a great voice and a nice manner about you. I know that you will be in this industry for a long, long time. If not with *NSYNC then by producing other artists and song writing. (By the way, I LOVE Space Cowboy.) I bet Bobbee is a good person. If she wasn't then you wouldn't be with her. And your clothes are... um... original! That's it. Original. :o) Don't worry Jayce. We all love you here @ EF.
P.S. Digital Getdown is a GREAT song too! Im serious... I LOVE it!

I also want to say im sorry to...

Britney Spears
WADE J. ROBSON
TRACE
The Stever and the whole Fatone family.
Lynn Harless
Mama Bass
JACKO
The Entire State of Mississippi
Toby
BUSTA
Monicchichi
All the artists I've parodied. (is that word? it is now!)
MTV
and last but not the Backstreet Boys. And I'm only sorry that they broke *NSYNC's record for number of albums sold. Oh wait.. they DIDN'T BREAK THE RECORD!!!
In that case all of you suck! :o)

Have a nice day!