But you didn't know all the ways I loved you, no
(But the record label told me to change it to something less offensive)

So you took a chance, and made other plans
(You decided you'd "take extra lessons" from our choreographer)

But I bet you didn't think that they would come crashing down, no
(I sold my soul to Wade for fiddy dolla for him to come clean with what happened)

You don't have to say what you did
(I know that you had sex with Wade)

I already know, I found out from him
(Steve has it on videotape)

Now there's just no chance for you and me
(Now there's an excuse for me to dump you)

There'll never be
(THANK THE LAWD)

Don't it make you sad about it?
(Doesn't it piss you off I'm going to make millions off selling you out?)

Told me you loved me, why did you leave me all alone
(I'm a momma's boy, you know I need constant attention)

Now you tell me you need me when you call me on the phone
(And now you wanna have phone sex with me?)

But girl I refuse,
(I ain't going nowhere near your skanky butt)

You must have me confused with some other guy
(Who do I look like? Wade?)

Your bridges were burned
(You got dumped by your boyfriend AND your satanic choreographer)

Now it's your turn to cry
(Sucks to be you)

Cry me a river
(So long, BIATCH)

Cry me a river
(I could give a rat's ass)

Cry me a river
(Boo-freakin-hoo)

Cry me a river
(*blows nose*)

Yeah, yeah
(Yeah, yeah)

I know that they say that some things are better left unsaid
(Maybe things would be better if nobody had said anything, and I'd still be oblivious to you cheating on me)

But it wasn't like you only talked to him and you know it
(BUT DUH YOU STUPID TRAMP, I TALK TO WADE TOO, YOU IDIOT)

Don't act like you don't know it
(Pshh, don't play like the ditzy blonde bitch you really are)

All of these things people told me...
(All of these articles I read in the tabloids...)

Keep messin with my head
(Injured my supersize ego)

You shoulda picked honesty
(You should have at least been smart enough to fabricate a believable story)

Then you may not have blown it
(Then maybe you'd still be having sex with me)

You don't have to say what you did
(Talk to the hand, ho)

I already know, I found out from him
(You went *boinky-boinky* with Wade J)

Now there's just no chance for you and me
(Now I'm gonna experiment with an older black woman)

There'll never be
(Haha, and we ALL know you'll never be black)

And don't it make you sad about it?
(And doesn't it piss you off that the hooker in the video is hotter than you are?)

Told me you loved me, why did you leave me all alone
(When *I* wanted to make love, you weren't "in the mood")

Now you tell me you need me when you call me on the phone
(And now you want a piece of -->THIS<--?)

But girl I refuse,
(HELL NAW)

You must have me confused with some other guy
(I'm not Ron Jeremy, contrary to popular belief)

Your bridges were burned
(You lost 2 entries from your booty-call phone book)

Now it's your turn to cry
(BAHAHAHAHAHA)

So cry me a river
(Let them tears wash off all that makeup)

Cry me a river
(Maybe then people can see just how ugly you really are)

Cry me a river
(Bottle it and sell it on ebay for all I care)

Cry me a river
(And if ya do cry me a river, be sure to name it after me, mmmkay?)

Yeah, yeah
(Yeah, yeah)

Oh, the damage is done
(You've been tainted by evil)

So I guess I'll be leaving
(Now I have no use for you)

Oh, the damage is done
(You cheated on me)

So I guess I'll be leaving
(Now I gotsta go find me some new ass)

Oh, the damage is done
(You probably have an STD anyway)

So I guess I'll be leaving
(And I don't want to catch it)

Oh, the damage is done
(In case you didn't catch that the first three times...)

So I guess I'll be luh, luh, luh, luh, luh leaving
(I'M Duh duh duh duh duh DUMPING YOU)

You don't have to say what you did
(I really like repeating this line)

I already know, I found out from him
(It's nice to rub it in)

Now there's just no chance for you and me
(That's right, you lost ME)

There'll never be
(Never in a million years will you have ME)

Don't it make you sad about it
(It should make you sad, because if I lost me, I'd be devastated)

Cry me a river, go on and just
(I revel in your misery)

Cry me a river, baby go on and just
(It inflates my ego more)

Cry me a river, you can go on and just
(Do you notice how I keep saying JUST?)

Cry me a river, yeah yeah
(Yeah, that's right, JUST)

Cry me a river, baby go on and just
(JUST are the first 4 letters of my name)

Cry me a river, go on and just
(Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?)

Cry me a river, cause I've already cried
(I haven't cried at all)

Cry me a river, ain't gonna cry no more yeah yeah
(Because I've been too busy being glad over how much money I'm gonna make off this song)

Cry me a river
(I'm playing the world's tiniest violin)

Cry me a river, oh
(As long as the Amazon)

Cry me a river, oh
(Or as long as the Nile)

Cry me a river, oh
(Or as long as the Mississippi)

Cry me a river, oh
(You DO know Lance is from there, right?)

Cry me, cry me
(Anyway, we're focusing on me here)

Cry me, cry meeeeeeeeeeeee
(ME, DAMMIT, ME)

Cry me, cry me
(Stick a fork in me, cause I'm DONE)

Cry me, cry meeeeeeeeeee
(Me. *warms up voice* Me me me me meeee)

Cry me, cry me
(I think you get the point now)

*Unintelligible gyuh gyuh sounds*
(When translated into another language, this means "I'm laughing all the way to the bank, biatch!")

Thanks to Liv for helping me out on some parts of this.