PEACE, LOVE & BASS }><O>
(PAGE TWO!)
this page contains:
INTERVIEW OF THE WEEK
PIC OF THE WEEK
LY'S CONTEST CORNER
SONG PARODY OF THE WEEK
HOROSCOPES
ADZ & STUFFZ

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INTERVIEW OF THE WEEK:
(this week: Chris Kirkpatrick...with special guest star, Holly!)
I recently got the issue of "Twist" magazine...you know, the one where the guys are on the cover (Hey, at least I'm not buying J-14 like you....teeniebopper). They guys all had interviews, and...although I love me some Kirky, he was just asking for me to dogg him! I've typed up his part of the interview, and added a few comments of my own, which will be in red.

Q: So why did you decided to cut your braids?
A: I just needed a change. (a change of what? your depends? *cough*geezer*cough*) It was getting old.(as are you, my sexy senior citizen!) For a long time I was the only one in the group who had any color or anything on my head(**thinks to herself** Sweetie, you'll be lucky to have hair by the end of next year). But when everybody gets on the boat, you jump off.

Q: Whats the best compliment someone could give you?
A: That they appreciate the music. It's always nice to hear "Oh I love you, I think you're cute,"(yea right, cmon Chris, how often do they say that to you? Justin, yes, but you?) and stuff like that, but I think the best compliment is when someone appreciates what we've done and what we're doing to pop music(thats right baby! show them that a old man can sing!)

Q: What could a girl do to really warm your heart?
A: I like a girl who can sing(and what do ya know, you sing just like one!). I would love it if a girl had a really beautiful voice and she, like, hummed in my ear(todays to do list: assassinate Danielle Raabe, take vocal lessons, and hum in 28 year olds ear)

Q: What makes you smile?
A: My dog(and when he smiles, you look like twins!). I just got a new one named Buster.(**checks the date of the magazine** yea, August 2000, but he said he "just" got Buster *and for the record, I thought his name was spelled Busta*)

Q: complete this sentence: I'm a (blank) kind of guy.
A: I'm a roll-with-the-punches type of guy(more like a roll-in-a-wheelchair-due-to-arthritis kind of guy)

Q: What was your favorite song when you were a kid?
A: You know what my favorite song was when I was a kid?(no you frickin half wit, why in the freaky deaky would he ask you if he KNEW?! Sheesh....oh well...they say the mind is the first to go) "Hey Jude." I was a big Paul McCartney fan. I learned to play guitar backwards because my sister and I would act like we were The Beatles and I'd always be Paul, and whenever I'd strum the guitar, I'd strum it left handed. Then I had to flip it and it took me a long time to get used to right handed guitar.

Q: If you weren't singing, you'd be ...?
A: Broke!(aww, then you'd have to get on Medicaid to pay for your Viagra and Geritol!)

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PIC OF THE WEEK


Justin: "Oh My GOD!!! It's Lou Pearlman's ass!"
Chris: "AND WE'RE HEADED RIGHT FOR IT!!!!"
JC: "Oh man...this is SURE to mess up my hair!"
Lance: "AHHHHHHHHH!!! It's MOVING!"
Joey: "And I think it's dead...something STINKS!"
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LY'S CONTEST CORNER

OMG Y'all, are you gonna LOVE this contest?
My girl, Ly *This is BexXx writing btw* has made an offer that no *Nsync fan in their right mind could refuse.
We're gonna run this thang like your regular Membership Contest...in other words, the subscriber who sends in the most NEW subscribers, will be declared our winner...
"And what's the prize???" I hear you pleading...Y'all, we're talkin tha BIG TIME here!
Ly has offered to put together an *Nsync prize package like you wouldn't believe! The winner of the Membership Contest will recieve their very own *Nsync price pack CHOCK FULL `o *Nsync merchandise!!!
And we're not talkin' an email full of pics and a cheesy wav, either! We're talking ACTUAL *Nsync stuff sent DIRECTLY TO YOU!
By next issue, (Which will be out next week sometime) Try and get as many of your friends, enemies, neighbors, uncles, aunts, paper-boys...etc etc to subby to this here zine...The winner will be announced in the next issue.

So what are you waiting for????? Get to it! There's some MAJOR *Nsync booty at stake here!

Send your list of NEW subscribers HERE

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SONG PARODY OF THE WEEK

"JuJu Grammar"

to the tune of "Country Grammar" by - Nelly
Parody Written by: BexXx


(Chorus)
Hmm, I'm going down down baby pimpin in a Benz-o,
Afro Pumpin baby picked, ready ta pimp da hos,
Shimmy Shimmy cocoa wha listen to me now,
Most folks call me Afro-puff,
Timby's gettin' down

Hmm, I'm going down down baby pimpin in a Benz-o,
Afro Pumpin baby picked, ready ta pimp da hos,
Shimmy Shimmy cocoa wha listen to me now,
Most folks call me Afro-puff,
Timby's gettin' down

Justy-
You can find me,
In Orlando rollin ta clubs,
Hidin' mah 40's and dubs,
Out-blingin them otha scrubs,

Gettin rubbed,
Girlies screamin,
And givin love.
Kisses and hugs,
No drugs but drinkin' tubs.

And it's all because,
I accumulated enough cash,
Just to navigate it,
Fully decorated in bling,
Been years since I dated,
Fans fainted,
While I'm entertaining,
Wild ain't it?

How me and da boys are bigger than dem thugs (Backstreet),
So feel us when we bring it,
Sing it loud wha,
We free from Lou and we're proud,
Made an album for the cause,
Breakin records, sellin dolls

Dis Playa's style's raw,
I'm gonna mac like Usher y'all,
I got da fame,
And the glamour,
All da girlies wanna get me wit dey camera's,
My grammar be's ebonics,
You know Britney? I'm on it!
Straight bionic it's ironic,
Slammin Backstreet like we own it,
I'll be Nsync til the day I die,
I run more game than the Bulls and Sonics

(Chorus) x2

You say pretty boys can't be wild jiggas?
Fly jiggas?
White, but still niggas?
Damn jigga...
Dancin just ta please da crowd jigga?
Yo jigga!
Don't be calling J-dawg no damn wigga,
Now jigga,
Come to the concert and watch me beat-box jigga!
I'm a down jigga!
What you be givin when I get down jigga!
Frown jigga.
Guys talking ish when I leave town nigga,
Say now,
Can you hoes come out to play now?
Ready to hook you up any day now,
By da by,
Brit's mine and she gonna stay mine.
May I...
Answer yo next question? Like whoa!
Say hi,
To my jiggas from dat old "Mouse Show",
Yo baby, I was born near Memphis,
Den I moved out to Orlando,
O-Town.
I'm too attached to mah momma,
Hey-Hey,
I'm her baby, straight up young bread winner.
Stop Laughin!
All my fans wit JuJu Grammar,
Wearin blue like I'mma slam em...
Though I'm "ghetto" as Danny Tanner...

(Chorus) x2

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THE FUTURE...
(According to *Nsync)

This week's horoscopes will be predicted by none other than CHRIS KIRKPATRICK! =) *Well, okay, so we wrote them ourselves...but if Chris WERE to read your horoscopes...this is what we think they MIGHT be like.*


Aries - This week is gonna suck for you...because Mighty Mouse wants to eat your head...Don't ask me why...that's just the kinda guy he is!

Taurus - Tauruses are Bulls...that's why they're so stubborn! And that's also why they wear rings in their noses! (You might wanna stop that, it looks really stupid!)

Gemini - This week you're going to get married. I don't care if you're not engaged, I'm doing these horoscopes! And I say you're going to get married, okay?????

Cancer - You have a sign named after a terrible disease...doesn't that make you sad? That would make ME sad...Anyway, DON'T be sad! Cause you're not gonna get a terrible disease this week!

Leo - The LION! ROOOOOOOOOOOAR!!!!! You're gonna jump through a big hula-hoop that's set on fire this week...COOL! Can I come watch?

Virgo - This week you're going to go to my website, Fumanskeeto.com, and buy LOTS and LOTS of cool clothes! Why? Because I said so!

Libra - This week you're going to read a good book. I only say that because "Libra" reminds me of the word "Library" and that's where you get books...

Scorpio - This week you're going to sting someone with your poisonous tail...Just make sure the person you sting isn't under the sign of Cancer, cause I kinda told the Cancers that they wouldn't get any bad diseases this week, okay?

Sagittarius - This week you're going to do something really fun...like bungee jumping, or skydiving, or putting shaving cream all over your best friend while they're asleep then taking pictures of them!

Capricorn - You're a GOAT! A GOAT! MAAAAAAAAHHHHH! **Chris falls over laughing**

Aquarius - This week evil martians are going to take over your television, and you're gonna get to watch NOTHING but Gilligan's Island re-runs for the WHOLE WEEK! (Can I come over to your house?)

Pisces - Pisces are fish...kinda like Lance. This week someone's gonna fry you up in a pan and serve you with a wedge of lemon and some tartar sauce...Man, sucks to be you...

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AdZ & StuffZ
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