Brooke, "J", "Jams", & the rest of da crew...who helps me just by bein' mah friend! Love y'all!!!!!
Wow...welcome to Issue Two!
Sorry for the delay in getting this issue out to you guys. We had a bit of setback, as two of our main editors got a nasty virus, wiping out much of their stuff. We lost a lot of our content and ended up having to rewrite a a large portion of it in order to get this issue out. First off, there have been a few changes.
First, the subscription and unsubscription email address has CHANGED! So, if you would like to subscribe a friend, Click here and put their email address in the body of the message.
If this newsletter was forwarded to you by a friend, and you want to subscribe yourself Click here and send a BLANK email. We'll add the email address you sent the blank email from to our subscriber's list. Please, only email from the address you want the issue sent to.
And finally, if you want to unsubscribe, Click here and send a BLANK email. We'll delete the email address which you sent the blank email from.
Secondly, we have created a new screen name to take questions, comments, etc. So, if there is anything you wanna send in, send it to PLBEditors@aol.com... or click here
Whew, that was a mouthful. Thanks for your attention, and enjoy the zine!
-- Mel
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Howdy ho, Subbie-o's! I'm majorly sorry for the delay in the second ish! We've been working our Basses off, trying to get it ready (only 2 weeks late~go us :D). Anyway, I hope that ya'll are really enjoying the zine so far. Well, I just wanted to tell ya'll hey, bye, thank you, and whatever you do, never push your aunt while she's shaving!
Tostidos,
Holly
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I am so impressed with the feedback I've gotten from the first issue. I can already tell I have some damned cool subbies! Thanks guys!
Another thing that I'm MAD impressed with is the response we got on our Membership Contest! It was a tight race, but the winner will be revealed in Page Two! Thanks so much to all of you who helped us out with it. Our subscription numbers more than QUADRUPLED thanks in part to your entering the contest!!! You guys ROCK!
Alright, enough with my senseless babbling...
ON TO THE FUNNY STUFF!!!!
Stay *Nsync
(gosh, I hate that saying!)
BexXx
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When Teenies ATTACK!
(Could also be titled: "Kirky Can You Hear Me?")
This week, another one of my friends put on a "Kirkpatrick Costume" and went out in search of a teeny. Well, he found one -- and I DO believe that he found what has to be the QUEEN OF ALL TEENIES. I was laughing SO HARD when I first read this thing. I didn't make very many of my own comments because hell, it's funny enough without them!
TotalTeenie: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!! IS THIS REALLY CHRIS!!!!!!
(OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!! ARE YOU REALLY A TEENY????)
CouldB_KirkE: Well don't tell anyone this, but yes I am
(Yeah! Like he would SAY that? Did you know the word "gullible" isn't in the dictionary?)
TotalTeenie: OMG I LOVE YOU AND NSYNC SO MUCH!!!
(Shall we count "OMG's"? Someone get a piece of paper and a pencil...I'm curious to see how many there are...)
TotalTeenie: SO how are you doing?
CouldB_KirkE: I'm doing good
TotalTeenie: That's good, I know you are probably busy with all the hard work you do
CouldB_KirkE: Yeah, but right now I had a little free time, so I thought I'd get online
TotalTeenie: Yeah thats cool, I'm glad you are on!
TotalTeenie: OMG I can't beleive I am talking to Chris Kirkpatrick!!!!!
(**makes a mark on the "OMG list"**)
CouldB_KirkE: Why can't you beleive that you are talkin to a short guy who sings like a girl and pretends he can model for Calvin Klein underwear?
(ROFLMFAO...good call my friend, good call!)
TotalTeenie: LMAO! Chris you are too funny!
TotalTeenie: You are such an awesome guy and your girlfriend is so pretty and lucky to be with you!
(Do you notice a trend from last week? Why must they ALWAYS bring up the girlfriends?)
CouldB_KirkE: Well thanks for the nice compliment! Yeah Danielle is really great!
TotalTeenie: I think you and her make a really cute couple!
TotalTeenie: I also think JC and Bobie, make a really cute couple too!
CouldB_KirkE: Bobbee* even
(Bobbie* even)
TotalTeenie: LOL oh sorry, I'm not too much of a fan of BOBBEE becuz she's goin out with JC, but I still think they make a cute couple
TotalTeenie: Eww, BSB is on TV right now! Their gay Burger King commercial!
(WTF? Did this chick take lessons from the chick last week on what NOT to say to a supposed Nsyncer? WHY bring up BSB????)
CouldB_KirkE: LOL! They have a Burger King commercial?? Is our McDonalds commercial better?
(No, personally I prefer the Spice Girls "Wendy's" commercial...)
TotalTeenie: Yes they have a really gay Burger King commercial and like the delivery guy at the end and Kevin look at each other like they want each other!!
TotalTeenie: Yeah I love it when Lance is holding up a sign for himself in the crowd! I just dont like that Brit was in it too, you guys should have got Christina to be in it instead, I love her a lot more!
CouldB_KirkE: Oh sorry, you don't like Brit! Yeah Christina is really cool too and what a voice she has! But we never really get to see her and Brit has the same manager as us, so we usually do more things together.
TotalTeenie: Oh well that sux!
TotalTeenie: Anyways, I'm gald your commercial isn't stupid like the BSB's commercial! OMG it's so gay!
(**check on the old "OMG list**)
CouldB_KirkE: LOL
TotalTeenie: You know that the BSB suck and that Nsync is way better!!
(Duh...NO!!! Chris is a BSB fan! Anyone knows that! **rolls eyes**)
CouldB_KirkE: Yeah, I knew that we were better! Our album sales proved that!
(I call this part...Shameless plug!)
TotalTeenie: yeah you should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TotalTeenie: yEah!!
TotalTeenie: like backstreet cant even sell a album..
TotalTeenie: THERE NOT EVEN COOL
TotalTeenie: Like nsync is whats cool!
("Like" you would know if "cool" jumped up and bit you in the ASS! lmao!)
CouldB_KirkE: lol
CouldB_KirkE: So can I ask, what is your favorite Nsync song?
TotalTeenie: i love them all!! What about u? Chris...what is your fave :)
TotalTeenie: ??
CouldB_KirkE: my fave Nsync song is
(I wonder if "Chris" here has even HEARD an Nsync song!)
CouldB_KirkE: I dont know
TotalTeenie: I DONT KNOW , IS THAT A SONG?
(How CUTE! The teeny is trying to be "Chris-like"! **gag**)
CouldB_KirkE: Hold on let me check the Nsync books to see what they say is my fav song..
CouldB_KirkE: J/K
(Umm...no you're not!)
TotalTeenie: oH I GET IT!
TotalTeenie: YOUR EVEN FUNNIER ONLINE THEN U ARE IN THE TAPES
CouldB_KirkE: LoL thanks, I didn't know I was funny in tapes! How am I in CD's? (**rolls eyes**) LOL j/k, I'm sure you are talkin about all your video tapes, right?
TotalTeenie: YOUR SO WELCOME, Yeah My VIDEO tapes
CouldB_KirkE: How funny am I in concert then?
(I think it was HILARIOUS when you sang, and you had that really high voice and...oh wait...you weren't TRYING to be funny then, were you?)
TotalTeenie: Eeee
TotalTeenie: Ummmm
TotalTeenie: WHEN YOU DID THAT TAPE
TotalTeenie: AND U WERE LIKE WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU?
TotalTeenie: YOU SAID IT IN A FUNNY VOICE..
CouldB_KirkE: Oh yeah
TotalTeenie: And u said IT looks a lil like lance it got his hair, that was SUPER funnY!
CouldB_KirkE: Guess what?
TotalTeenie: ITS GONNA BE ME?
(UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!!!!!!!)
CouldB_KirkE: I came up with that part of the show all by my old self!
(Shameless Plug: The Sequel!)
TotalTeenie: You did!! YOURE SO CREATIVE
CouldB_KirkE: Yes I've had a lot of time in my life to learn how to be creative you know
CouldB_KirkE: I don't know if you knew this, but I am a really old guy
(Good Pop Star...Humility is nice.)
TotalTeenie: No chris!!
TotalTeenie: Dont be silly!
(No teeny!! Dont be annoying!)
TotalTeenie: thats ok if you are old ya know!!
CouldB_KirkE: Ok so who do you want me to be? Billy?
(**Looks queerly at "Chris"** Billy? Huh?)
TotalTeenie: HEHEHEHEH AHHAHAHAHAHA HEHEHE
(WTF???? **Hides under a chair**)
TotalTeenie: be chrissy!
CouldB_KirkE: LoL no I can't be Chrissy, I was Chrissy last week and Justin was Justina,
(I have NOTHING to say to this part...AT ALL!!!! = X )
TotalTeenie: Justin..Awwwwwwwwwwwwww!~!Justina! thats my favorite name
CouldB_KirkE: Joey was Josie,
TotalTeenie: AWE
TotalTeenie: WHat was JC?
CouldB_KirkE: JC was LC, short for Lacey
TotalTeenie: was he?
TotalTeenie: HAHA LACEY?!!
CouldB_KirkE: and Lance was of course Lance herself, (**Gets out her bat** Just wait til I talk to you again "Chrissy") who wanted us to play" Girls", that's his favorite game you know
CouldB_KirkE: NO J/K!!
(You'd BETTER be sayin "J/K"...lol)
TotalTeenie: HAHAHAHA!!!......
TotalTeenie: OK!!
TotalTeenie: SOOOOOOO
TotalTeenie: I WANT YOU GUYS TO COME ON TOUR HERE IN DETROIT..but like its ur second leg tour
TotalTeenie: so that sux!!
TotalTeenie: eww bsb is on tv again!!!
(Enough with the BSB crap already! Eeesh!!!!)
CouldB_KirkE: LoL
CouldB_KirkE: I'm sorry
TotalTeenie: THATS OK ITS NOT UR FAULT well i dont think it is
CouldB_KirkE: No blame Lance!
(It's Lance's fault that BSB is on television?)
CouldB_KirkE: He is the business man, he helps decide which cities we go to
TotalTeenie: Lance did he get ants in his pants agian?
(HAHAHA! She rhymed! **rolls eyes**)
CouldB_KirkE: LOL
TotalTeenie: WELL ISNT HE IN NSYNC?
TotalTeenie: with u?
(Ummm...DUH?)
CouldB_KirkE: yes
TotalTeenie: why does he work somewhere else then?
(Didn't you know? They all have other jobs...Chris works weekends as a bag boy at a grocery store in Iowa!)
CouldB_KirkE: lol no he just takes care of all the Nsync business most of the time
(Yeah...who needs Johnny Wright when ya got Lance?!?!)
TotalTeenie: oh i get it
CouldB_KirkE: him and our manager Lou Pearlman
(Ummmmmm....ROFLMFAO...POSER ALERT!!!!!!!!**
TotalTeenie: Yea
(She agreed? LOU PEARLMAN IS NOT THEIR MANAGER, HONEY!)
CouldB_KirkE: I mean Johnny Wright*
(Niiiice save...NOT!)
TotalTeenie: oh yeah
TotalTeenie: LOU PEARLMAN WHATA MEANIE!!
CouldB_KirkE: Hey thats what i say to Justin when he gets mad at Busta for peeing in his bunk
TotalTeenie: Ok
TotalTeenie: HaHaHa..
TotalTeenie: Oh my god at the concert at the silverdome YOUR FRIEND RON WAS THERE
TotalTeenie: SINGING!!
(So she obviously missed the whole Ron tap-dancing thing before he sang...lolol)
TotalTeenie: i was like thats so cool!
(No you didn't...You were thinking..."WHERE IS NSYNC!?!? GIVE ME NSYNC!!!!!!!")
TotalTeenie: and like these girls in front of me were like..WHY IS HE HERE? IM LIKE CUZ HE KNOWS NSYNC!
(Not everyone that knows Nsync gets to sing in their tour...)
TotalTeenie: duh what kind of question is that
TotalTeenie: You know
(Oh totally...**rolls eyes AGAIN**)
CouldB_KirkE: Oh really?
CouldB_KirkE: Did they not like Ron?
TotalTeenie: YEAH I THINK..
TotalTeenie: GOD THEY'RE SO MEAN
("WHATA MEANIE"!!!!)
CouldB_KirkE: Yeah, that's kinda mean
CouldB_KirkE: but Im glad you enjoyed him
TotalTeenie: YAH BUT U GUYS WERE BETTER
CouldB_KirkE: He'll be coming out with his album soon in stores
TotalTeenie: MAYBE I CAN BUY IT
CouldB_KirkE: but for now you can got to FumanSkeeto.com and purchase it or download songs
TotalTeenie: ok cool
TotalTeenie: I LOVE FUMAN SKEETO
TotalTeenie: I LVOE YOU SO MUCH (Awwe...well he "LVOE"s you too!)
TotalTeenie: YOU ARE SOO COOL
(Can't you just hear her screaming? **Puts in earplugs left over from the concert she went to**)
CouldB_KirkE: LoL thanks
CouldB_KirkE: You are a cool person too, I dont get to come online very often and I dont get to meet fans online as much as I want to, but I'm glad I got to talk to you tonight!
TotalTeenie: really?
TotalTeenie: WOW!! THANKS!
(**Insert intense ear-splitting screams here**)
TotalTeenie: well, i gotta go chris!! :(
TotalTeenie: I will talk 2 you later!
TotalTeenie: I HOPE TOMOROW!!
TotalTeenie: Ok?
TotalTeenie: BYE BYE BYE HEHE GET IT NSYNC?!?
(Bet he's never heard THAT before...)
TotalTeenie: OH IM SORRY!
TotalTeenie: STAY NSYNC HAH I KNO U HAVE TOO :)
(ROFLMFAO...OMG OMG OMG **Makes her own marks on the list**)
CouldB_KirkE: Ok good bye! LoL yes I do have to
TotalTeenie: Ok, BYE, GOODNIGHT!
}>
This week we explore what would happen if Justin Timberlake were left in charge of a class of preschoolers...
(HEAVEN HELP US!!!)
Justin's Preschool Class:
(alternate title: Just Say "Yo!")
Justin: Good Morning little chillin's. My name is Mister SMOOVE. ::Justin writes it on the chalkboard:: Can you say dat?
Class: (In unison): DAT!
Justin: Nah, nah...I meant, can you say "Mister SMOOVE?"
Class: (In unison): Mister SMOOTH!
Justin: Day-um! Do y'all gots cotton in yer ears or suttin? SMOOVE! SMOOVE!
Class: (Jumbled): SMOOVE!!!
Justin: Ya DAMN right! Now little chillins...::Justin reaches into his desk and pulls something out, holding it behind his back:: Today, I'm gonna teach y'alls about suttin VERY impo'tant to mah heart and shit...
::He holds up a 40oz. bottle of beer::
Dis here, is a foty. Can y'all say foh-tee?
Class: (In unison) FOH-TEE!
Justin: Dat's right! Good little chillin's! Now what do ya suppose ya DO wid at foty?
::One cute little girl in pigtails raises her hand shyly from the back of the room::
Justin: Yeah...you...da ho wit da pigtails. Speak yer mind, girl.
Little Girl: You make bubbles in the bathtub with it?
Justin: HAIL NAH! Dat's WHACK! Why you wanna be usin perfeckly good alcohol to be makin bubbles in da bafftub? Dis aint no BUBBLEBAFF, BITCH!
::The little girl slouches down in her chair, pouting::
Justin: Aiight, I guess den, I gotsta TELL y'all what ta do wid it! Dis is BEER foos! You DRINK it! Like DIS! ::Justin opens the 40 and downs half the bottle::
::The kids watch, wide-eyed::
Little Boy: But...Mister SMOOVE...My momma says that drinking is bad for you!
Justin: AWE BUMP DAT! It aint even like dat, see? I'm a famous singer, yo! If drinkin foty's was bad fo you, would I be as fly as I is?
::The children mutter amongst themselves, confusedly::
Justin: ::taking another swig of the 40:: Da answer is NO! I wouldn't be dis fly! And DAY-UM y'all...am I FLY!!!! See chillin's, it's like dis. If you wants ta get all da girlies -- and ya wants ta be a famous singer like yours truly -- you gotsta get wit da program, aiight? So after school and shit, go out and get a foty. Get da bum on da corner ta getcha one if yer under age...den you'll be cool like me!
Needless to say, Justin NEVER taught preschool again...
The Moral?
Just say "Yo!" To underage drinking!
}>
by:
@}-,-,-,----- @}-,-,-,----- BexXx @}-,-,-,----- @}-,-,-,----
Okay, this week, I'm going to go off about the whole "Britney & Justin" thing (aka: "No Comment") Let's face it folks -- they like each other!
As much as we *Nsync fans would LOVE to believe otherwise, (some of us going so far as to believe that Justin will someday show up on our doorsteps and carry us off into the sunset...) our little JuJu has SOMETHING going on with little Miss "Not that Innocent".
Now, I personally cannot STAND Britney Spears. There's just something about her that irks me to no end. And I DO believe that Justin could do a ZILLION times better. (Hey Ju, have you met my friend, Ly?)
But I'm getting really sick of *Nsync fans who are delving almost into the depths of DENIAL about these two! (I understand not wanting to hear about it, because personally, if I hear "Justin is going out with Britney" in an *Nsync chat one more time, it's gonna get violent!)
Not wanting to hear about it is one thing...but all in all DENYING that it exists is another. I mean seriously, I KNOW that my precious little PooFu once dated Danielle "My lips are bigger than my face" Fishel. I've seen pictures of them together at her Prom and I've even heard Lance himself talk about it publicly. (Take a hint from Lance, Justin...come out with it already!)
That doesn't mean I want to sit around and look at those pictures all day! Nor, does it mean I have to! But to keep myself from going absolutely INSANE thinking that Lance NEVER dates, and that he's saving himself for me and me alone, I have to come to grips with the fact that he is a red-blooded American Male. (He's from Mississippi. Did you know that?)
So, my advice to all you JuJu-fanatics out there is this...
"Don't playa-hate, CONGRATULATE!"
Now, I'm going to end this article for now and sit back and wait for the hate mail to come pouring in... (Please note, if you DO want to send hate mail, direct it here)
Make Sure To Check Out Page 2 For More Funny Stuff!!!!