Peace, Love & Bass
}><O>
WE'RE BAA-ACK!
}><O> }><O>  }><O>  }><O>  }><O>  }><O>  }><O>
~Issue Five~
Page One
~Brought To You By~
BexXx & Mel
}><O> }><O>  }><O>  }><O>  }><O>  }><O>  }><O>

~Table Of Contents~

~Editors' Welcomes~
~Coeditor Search~
~"Hehehe... Dude, this kicks ass!"~
~Top Ten~
~Stupid Lyrics~
}><O> }><O>  }><O>  }><O>  }><O>  }><O>  }><O>

Editors' Welcomes

Wassup peoples!?!?  Hot Damn!  It's good to be back!  
As y'all have probably noticed, we've been MIA for quite a while now...but WE BACK!  And we're better than ever!

Mels and I are PROUD to announce that our little brain-child here has been adopted by one of the most...okay okay scratch that, THE MOST Kickin' *Nsync Humor site on the 'Net!

We've joined forces with the girls at "Everybody's Free (To Make Fun of Nsync)"  Becoming the ONLY e-zine that is sponsored and supported by them!  GO US!

Y'all will be seeing some contributions from them in some upcoming issues!  If you don't wanna wait, *Which I would suggest you don't, because damn...these girls are FUNNY!*  Just follow the link posted on the banner above and it'll take you to the site!  Or you can just Click Here

Oh, and if ya sign their guestbook?  Tell `em PLB sent ya!  *wink*

~Much Love and Mental Images of Lance's Ghetto Bootay,~

BexXx
}><O> }><O>  }><O>  }><O>  }><O>  }><O>  }><O>

Hello faithful subscribers.  Mucho apologies for the insane delayedness of this issue.  We really have no excuse for it being so long overdue.  So, we admit it, we suck major donkey nuts.  But what's important is that WE ARE BACK AND IN FULL EFFECT!  We are also revamping a few things.  Firstly, we have a new layout coming next issue, whoo hoo!!!  Secondly, we are looking to restaff our editors panel.  (For more info, scroll down to read our "Coeditor Search" ad.)  Third, and most importantly, we have teamed up with THE funniest NSYNC Humor website, "Everybody's Free (to Make Fun of NSYNC)" to bring you the funniest NSYNC Humor around.  We have their ad posted in this issue.  You MUST go visit them or I will chase you down and beat you with a wet noodle.  No, really, I will.  :o) 

Anyhoo, enjoy the rest of this issue!

-- Mel

}><O> }><O>  }><O>  }><O>  }><O>  }><O>  }><O>

WE NEED A COEDITOR!!!

Think you can handle the job?

First and foremost:  In all seriousness, this is a major commitment, NOT a temporary gig that you can flounder in and out of at your own convenience.  Secondly, you have to have prior experience writing NSYNC humor (we don't care if you wrote for yourself or for another site or e-zine.) Third, you have to be willing to commit a good bit of time to this.  We have to get to know you and vice versa.  (We don't bite... usually.)

Still interested? 

If you think this is a job you'd like to take on, submit the following things:

3 - 5 pieces of ORIGINAL humor that YOU have done.  It can be parodies, skits, manipulated images, whatever.  Just as long as it's NSYNC humor and it is your own!!!!

From the submissions we receive, we will pick finalists.  From the finalists we select, we will give an original assignment to each finalist.  This is to test spontaneity and impromptu creativeness.  We'll take several things into account such as originality, speed of production, overall content, etc.  After that, we will compare the submissions and go through a process of elimination.  The person (or persons!) whom we feel have the best overall ability will be asked to come on board as a new coeditor!

E-mail us your submissions!

If you think this is something you'd seriously like to do, we invite you to submit your work.  Just please keep in mind it is a commitment!  Send all your work to PLBEditors@aol.com.  Put "Coeditor Search" in the subject head.  Or just click here to email us your material.

Good luck!

If we select you as a finalist, we will notify you by email.  It may take us a couple of weeks to go through all the submissions and make our decisions, so please be patient with us.

}><O> }><O>  }><O>  }><O>  }><O>  }><O>  }><O>

Hehehe... Dude, this kicks ass!
by - Mel
Anyone ever tell you that you bore a slight resemblence to a particular cartoon character?  No?  Well, no one's ever told me that either, so you're in good company.  But more and more recently I've noticed a similarity in appearance between our dear Lance Bass, and the not-so-dear Beavis (from Beavis and Butt-Head, of course.) 




How can you deny the likeness of these two???

Now, before you get all in a tizzy, note that this is not a bad thing.  I am not insulting Lance in any form or fashion.  I mean, if all else fails and NSYNC falls apart, Lance could always be cast as Beavis in a future life-form movie about Beavis and Butt-head, right?  :o)  So chin up!  And check out the following thumbnails I found where, I felt, Lance resembled Beavis. 

(Note that this is MY opinion, and ANY mail received with content such as "HE DOES NOT LOOK LIKE BEAVIS" will be ignored.  And if you cannot take a joke, then get a life.  Thank you, please drive through... [or should it be "Next window, please?"]  *thinks*   Anyway...you guys get it.) 

}><O> }><O>  }><O>  }><O>  }><O>  }><O>  }><O>

Top Ten

Things You Could Say to JC to Start Your Very Own NSYNC Lawsuit!

By -- BexXx & Mel (Who else???)



Lately, there seems to be a surplus of people suing *NSYNC for various reasons.  Most recently, a girl was reportedly berated by Justin and his bodyguard at a St. Louis concert because she merely remarked that she liked JC better because he was "cuter".  Well, we wondered... what if *NSYNC were to sue YOU for making a smart alec remark?  This week we have compiled a list of 10 things you could say to JC to get your very OWN *NSYNC lawsuit started.

10.  "Do you ever sleep with the dead animals before you wear them?"

9.  "Carmen Electra wants her pants back..."

8.  "How does it feel to be dating a horse?"

7.  "Y'all should have stayed with Lou...at least THEN you dressed normal!"

6.  "Maybe if you weren't so 'tight with your money', you could afford a dentist!"

5.  "Two Words...JOCK  STRAP!"

4.  "*Scream VERY loud*  OH MY GOD, JC!  SOMEONE STOLE YOUR ASS!"

3.  "AND I THINK IT WAS LANCE!!!"

2.  "OR IT COULD HAVE BEEN JOEY...*scratches head*"

And the number one thing you could say to JC to start your very own NSYNC lawsuit is...

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*


1.  "No, I'm NOT feeling your Timbs, your baggy jeans, and WHAT thug appeal?"

}><O> }><O>  }><O>  }><O>  }><O>  }><O>  }><O>



Stupid Lyrics
By - BexXx & Mel

Not every lyric you hear makes sense.  Especially if you take it in the literal sense.  Below are some samples of dumb lyrics from NSYNC songs.  Note that we CAN see where they would make sense figuratively, but at first glance, they look pretty stupid.  We invite you to laugh along with us.

Mel's commentary is in this font

BexXx's commentary is in *this one*

*Before we begin...BexXx would like to point something out to y'all.
Mel and I each took this list of lyrics and wrote OUR OWN thoughts...not ONCE did we confer with each other on what we thought when we read them...I think it's rather hilarious, (And kind of creepy...) how similar our responses turned out...Read on!*




"I wanna call you up, cause in the end...I keep writing letters to my garbage can."
~ If I'm Not The One

I hate to break this to you, but I really do NOT think the garbage can is going to write back.  

*Silently sits wondering if the garbage can ever writes back...*  




"Si siente un frio tu corazon - When your heart feels cold
Sere tu abrigo, tu ilusion - I'll be your coat, your fantasy"  ~ Yo Te Voy A Amar

Me gusta bailar en el baño con los pollos locos.  Yo te voy a dar el pollo.  Translation:  I like to dance in the bathroom with crazy chickens.  I'm going to give the chicken to you.

*How did HE know I've always fantasized about a coat????  Have you guys been reading my diary again?  DAMMIT!!!!*  




"Pump it up, to the left
Pump it up, now to the right
Pump it up, everybody
Pump it up, come on
Pump it up, pump it up
Pump it up, let me see you
Pump it up, here we go
Pump it up"  ~ This Is Where The Party's At

Apparently they have their parties either at a gas station or a fitness gym?

*Yes...but would you like us to "Pump it up"?*  




"Cause if you wanna make things right, you got to
Giddy up, Giddy up now
I gotta giddy up
Giddy up, Giddy up now
I gotta giddy up
Giddy up, Giddy up now
I gotta giddy up
Giddy up, Giddy up now
I gotta giddy up"  ~ Giddy Up

Let me get this straight... If I want to make things right, I must giddy up?  What the hell does that mean?  Can anyone tell me?

*Who writes this stuff???  And WHY can I see a guy sitting on one of those horse rides that you put quarters into, laughing giddily thinking..."This would make a damned good song idea!"*
   



"Ride it, ride it, ride it, ride it
Ride it, ride it, ride it..."  ~ Giddy Up

Contain it, contain it, contain it, contain it.

*snickers*  The sexual reference in this line alone is undeniable...I'll just be quiet and fantasize about my coat...*




"I am only scared from wonder
From delirious I’m running..."  ~ Riddle

Delirious.... hey is she that scary chick from the N The Mix video that kept screaming "I LOVE LANCE, I LOVE LANCE"?  If that was the case, I'd be running from "Delirious" too.

*Hmmm...I've never tried to "run from delirious"...It seems to find me naturally...*




"Nothing I would rather do
Than hold you all through the night
Under my tree."  ~ Under My Tree

Uhh, that sounds kinda scary.  Wouldn't you rather just sleep in a bed?

*Can't you think of anywhere a little more...Oh, I don't know...COMFORTABLE???*  




"I'll show you how good it could be
I wish that Santa could be here to see..."  ~ Under My Tree

Wouldn't that be voyeurism?  I don't WANT Santa to see ANYTHING, thank you very much.

*Aiight Justin...I DON'T perform for an audience...and I sure as hell aint performin in front of SANTA!  PERVERT!!!*  





"Bounce your head to the beat
We’ve got everything you need..."  ~  Here We Go

Hope you guys got a chiropractor handy.

*Gets a mental image of those creatures in the movie "Labyrinth" only, with the guy's heads...*Falls over laughing hysterically*




"My grandmama, and my granddaddy, my momma and my daddy..."  ~ It's Christmas

What about them?

*And my uncle Tito...and my Aunt Doris...*  





"I see you on the screen, I get to freakin'..."  ~ Digital Getdown

Like the phonics monkey on South Park?

*Sees JC sitting at the computer, screaming like a rabid JuJu fan..."EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"*




"We may be 20,000 miles away..." ~ Digital Getdown

If both persons are, indeed, on Earth... this is an impossible feat.  The Earth's circumference is exactly 24895.850486 miles.  Therefore, you can only be a maximum of 12447.925243 miles away from each other at any given point on the planet.  It would be possible in outer space, but who has cybersex in a space shuttle?  Do they even HAVE the Internet access up there?

*Where the hell am I?  On the moon????  And furthermore...just HOW can he see me?  Does he have a digital camera?  He never mentions one in the song...I think this song should be re-written to include the details that are so obviously lacking...*

}><O> }><O>  }><O>  }><O>  }><O>  }><O>  }><O>

Now shake it on over to Page 2!