What do they REALLY mean?HEY EVERYONE! ARE YOU EVER WONDERING WHAT THE GUYS OF *N SYNC ARE REALLY THINKING? I MEAN LETS FACE IT, THEY CAN'T ALWAYS SAY WHAT THEY WANT TO, RIGHT? THAT'S WHY I'VE PUT TOGETHER THIS LITTLE LIST OF TRANSLATIONS FOR YOU, THAT WAY NEXT TIME YOUR *N SYNC GUY SAYS, "IT'S AN HONOR TO JUST BE NOMINATED!" YOU'LL KNOW THAT THEY REALLY MEAN, "WE WANNA BEAT THE REST OF THESE PUNKS AND FLAUNT OUR GRAMMY IN THEIR FACES!" SO READ ON AND DELVE INTO THE MADNESS THAT IS *N SYNC...
BY K-ROK
(DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS PROFANITY AND SEXUAL CONTENT. CAN'T HANDLE IT? GO BACK TO READING YOUR BABY SITTER'S CLUB BOOKS!)
1.) QUESTION: SO, GUYS TELL ME, ARE YOU SINGLE?
-JOEY AND JUSTIN SAY: WE'RE SINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE, CARSON!
-TRANSLATION: "WE'VE GOT GIRLS BACK HOME, BUT WE'LL FUCK FLY HUNNIES THAT DIG US AND WE'LL LET HOT GROUPIES GIVE US HEAD!"
2.) COMMENT: LADIES, LADIES, DON'T GET YOUR PANTIES IN A WAD, THERE'S ENOUGH JUSTIN TO GO AROUND!
-TRANSLATION: "I KNOW Y'ALL THINK I'M FLY BUT YOU'RE CHANCES OF GETTING WITH ME ARE *PARDON THE PUN* SLIM TO NONE!"
3.) QUESTION: HOW'S THE NEW ALBUM COMING ALONG?
-ANSWER: WE'RE REALLY LOOKING TO EVOLVE WITH OUR FANS AND JUST TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL
-TRANSLATION: "WE BETTER COME UP WITH SOMETHING DAMN GOOD BECAUSE OUR FANS CAN ONLY LISTEN TO SUCH *CRUNK* SONGS AS 'BRINGIN DA NOISE' AND 'GIDDY UP' FOR SO LONG!"
4.) COMMENT: THERE IS NO I IN N SYNC!
-TRANSLATION: "I'M THE MOST IMPORTANT MEMBER, DAMNIT BECAUSE I SING LEAD AND WITHOUT ME, YOU'D SOUND LIKE SHIT!"
5.) COMMENTS: "MY BALLS ARE STUCK!" , "JOEY GOT A BIG OLE BUTT!", "I'M 'BOUT TO BUST OUT OF MY PACKAGING, MY PACKAGE IS BUSTIN OUT...I MEAN...WOW!", "THESE PANTS ARE TIGHT - IT FEELS LIKE I'M HAVING SEX WITH MYSELF!", "PURE ANIMAL SEX!"
-TRANSLATION: BASICALLY THIS IS JUST THE GUYS SORRY WAY OF PROMOTING THEMSELVES, TRYIN TO GET SOME PLAY...RIIIIGGGHHHTTTT, CAUSE POPSTARS DON'T GET LAID EEVVVEEERR!
6.) COMMENT: YEAH, I LOVE HER TO DEATH! (JC, ON BOBBIE THOMAS)
TRANSLATION: "SHE'S EASY AND LOOKS GOOD ON MY ARM WHEN I NEED TO MAKE APPEARANCES AT AWARDS SHOWS!"
7.) COMMENT: WELL, I HAVE TROUBLE MAKING EYE CONTACT AND I DON'T GO AROUND CHECKING OUT GIRLS' BUTTS, BUT I DO HAVE A THING FOR LIPS.
-TRANSLATION: "I HAVE A THING FOR THE LOWER SET OF LIPS, YOU KNOW, A LITTLE ORAL ACTION!" ::WINK, WINK::
8.) COMMENT: WE REALLY APPRECIATE ALL THE SUPPORT FROM ALL THE FANS BECAUSE WITH OUT THEM, WE WOULDN'T BE HERE.
-TRANSLATION: "KEEP ON BUYING OUR CHEESEY T-SHIRTS AND ALL OF THAT CHEESEY SHIT THAT WE SELL, BUT JESUS CHRIST, WILL YOU STOP STALKING US AND WAITING OUTSIDE OF OUR HOTELS FOR US AND WILL YOU STOP CALLING US AND STOP SENDING US STUFF TOO, CAUSE WE JUST THROW THAT SHIT OUT, OH AND WE JUST DELETE THOSE E-MAILS YOU SEND US, TOO..."
9.) QUESTION: WHAT KINDS OF THINGS DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GIRL?
-ANSWER: PERSONALITY!
-TRANSLATION: "BOOBS, LEGS, AND BOOTY!"
10.) QUESTION: WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK OF THE BACKSTREET BOYS?
-ANSWER: THEY'RE DOING THEIR THING, WE'RE DOING OURS. WE RESPECT THEM AS MUSICIANS.
-TRANSLATION: "WE THINK THEY'RE A BUNCH OF WHINEY BABIES WHO ARE SORE BECAUSE WE CAME OUT AFTER THEM AND WE'RE WAYYYY MORE FAMOUS THAN THEY ARE!" ::STICKS TONGUE OUT::
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