Audience: [looks at each other] Who?!?
Announcer: Jonathan Knight, member of New Kids On The Block, JORDAN KNIGHT'S BROTHER!!
Audience: Ooooooohhh!
Announcer: So anyway, getting back to the reason why we are here, tonight's panel is Justin Timberlake, JC Chasez, Britney Spears, and Howie Dorough.
Jonathan: You're watchng VH! and welcome to The List. Tonight's category will be: "The Best Teenage Female Singer of All-Time." We have a wonderful panel tonight full of guys that make teenaged girls' hearts melt, and a beautiful distinguished young singer as well. So can we please welcome, Justin Timberlake and JC Chasez of *NSync, Howie Dorough of the Backstreet Boys, and the beautiful and talented Britney Spears.
While Jonathan is introducing all of the panelists, all of the girls are screaming, but when he intros Britney, it gets quiet as anything, and you can actually hear the crickets.
Jonathan: So let's get started. Justin who did you pick for you #3 choice?
Justin: Well, as mah numba tree choice, ah picked da fliest girlie I could think of. And dat be Tiffany. Lemme tell ya when ah was a youngin, dat girlie be fly as hell!! Ah definitely think dat ah'm alone with Tiffany, ifyaknowwhatahmsayin'.
Jonathan: Can we not talk about Tiffany, I love her. She married someone else, and...
Britney: Well, I love Justin and I'm going to marry him.
Jonathan: That makes me feel better, thanks Britney. Howie, who's your #3 choice?
Howie: Wellth, [wink] I would hath ttho thay thath my favorite teenaged female singer would be thath gorgeousth girl [wink wink] Selena. She was a beautiful Latina. And although she is gone, let God rest her thoul. She was a great singer.
Taken aback by Howie's wonderful speech, they all just sit there and stare at each other. Then all of a sudden...
Britney: FUN BREEZE.
Jonathan: Alright, Britney, since you jumped in there, who is your third choice?
Britney: Okay, my third [giggle] choice is [giggle] Justin Timberlake.
Jonathan: Umm...Britney, that isn't a girl. The topic is best FEMALE teenaged singer of all time. Justin is in a BOY band.
Britney: [shaking her "boobs" around] So...what's your point?
Jonathan: [mezmorized by the shaking silicon] Okay, I'll let this one slide, but next time you better pick a girl.
Britney: [twirling her hair around her finger] Uh huh, FUN BREEZE.
Jonathan: Now that that's over with, JC...[sleeping]...ummm, JC?
Justin hits JC over the head with the jRt necklace.
JC: Huh? What? Jerome, where are you?
Jonathan: Ummm...JC...who is your number 3 pick for best female teenaged singer of all time?
JC: Oh, I would [sniff] have to say [rub] Janet Jackson. I JUST WANNA BE THE GUY IN THE CHAIR!!!!!!
Jonathan: Ummm...okay.
Britney: Britney. Miss Spears, if you're nasty.
JC: [under his breath] Oh, you're nasty all right.
Britney: WHAT?!?
JC: Nothing.
Britney: FUN BREEZE.
Jonathan: Okay Justin, who is your second choice?
Justin: Aiight, see here. Mah numba two choice be mah own lil "genie in a bottle", ifyaknowwhatahmsayin', Christina Aguilera.
Britney: [looks straight at Justin] What do you MEAN Christina Aguilera? You think that she's better than me? I can't believe you Justin. [runs off stage crying]
Howie: Yeah way ttho go man. Getting rid of thath skanth like thath.
JC: [sniff] Huh?
Jonathan: MOVING RIGHT ALONG!! Howie, what's your second choice?
Howie: Well, I havth ttho say thath my number ttho choith would havth ttho be, Mandy Moore.
Jonathan: Ummm...okay. Why did you pick her?
Howie: Wellth, thee, I actually wrote one of the thoongs on her album. And, thee is a plethure to work with.
Justin: Aiight dere, slur boy.
Howie: Whatever there, fro boy.
Jonathan: Enough of that boys, don't make me bust out the awesome NKTOB moves...you know, that "Right Stuff" dance is pretty dangerous. JC!!!!!! Who is your number 2 choice?
JC: Okay, I think that Tatiana Ali is my number 2 choice, 'cause I brought her a rose on stage. And then we went backstage and sm...I mean we had a big party...all of us.
Jonathan: Okay there buddy. We have to go to a comericial. We'll be right back, here on The List.
They go to comericial break. When they return, notice that Britney has taken her seat again.
Jonathan: Welcome back to The List. Today's guest panel is Justin Timberlake and JC Chasez of *NSync, Howie Dorough of the Backstreet Boys, and pop princess Britney Spears. Onto your number one choices. Justin?
Justin: Well, ah be sayin' here dat mah numba one choice would haffta be Innosense.
Audience: [collectively] WHO!?!?
JC: No, wait! I know who they are. I went out with that skank from that group. Vikki or Nikki or something. She was on MMC too.
Justin: Ye-ah. See, mah moms be der manager. And mah moms yo, said dat she be takin' away DA BENZ if ah don't say dat Innosense be da best teenaged singers. A boy gotta do what a boy gotta do fah his car, know what Ah'm sayin'?
Jonathan: Yeah, I know exactly what you are saying. Howie, your number one choice.
Howie: Wellth, after much debate, I havth finally decideth thath my number oneth choith should be Britney Spears. Thee isth a nicth young lady and an even better thinger.
Britney: [gets all excited] Thank you, Howie! You know what you get now. [gets up to go and sit on Howie's lap]
Jonathan: Hey hey hey...none of that you two. Later, and then I'll serenade you with my version of "Please Don't Go Girl." Britney, who is your number one choice?
Britney: I thought that Joey Mac sang that. I had a crush on him when I was younger. Wow...Joey...
Jonathan: Can we move on Britney? You're #1 choice...?!?!?!?!
Britney: Ooh...FUN BREEZE!! Well okay...like, my number one choice is like, Christina Aguilera. We've been friends for so long and like, I'm so happy that she finally made it big. Hi Tenny!
Jonathan: Okay, let me get this straight. You got mad 'cause Justin picked her, but now you are going to pick her as your number one choice?
Britney: What are you talking about? I never got mad.
Jonathan: Ummm...yeah you did. You stormed off stage.
Britney: Oh, I did? FUN BREEZE!
Jonathan: Stupid skank! JC...please just tell us your number one choice.
JC: Well, my number one choice is Blaque. 'Cause they feel mah Timbs, mah baggy jeans, and MAH THUG APPEAL!!!!!
Jonathan: Calm down there buddy. Oh by the way, Jerome called.
JC: JEROME!!!!!!!!!!!
All of a sudden JC gets up, then remembers younger fans are watching, so he sits back down, composes himself and quickly makes his leg twitch.
Jonathan: Now that we got that all out of the way, here comes the elimination round.
NeEnE: Jonathan Knight, I LOOOOOOOVE YOU!!!!!! [jumps on his lap, where she remains for the rest of the show]
Jonathan: Ummm...okay. Here's the part of the show where each person gets to eliminate someone from the list on that you made up. So, Justin would you care to go first?
Justin: Ye-ah! Ah would like to eliminate Britney, 'cause she an ugly skank who has no talent, on and off of the stage, ifyaknowwhatahmsayin'.
Jonathan: I know exactly what you're saying, since you've said that like a million times tonight.
The Board takes Britney off the list.
Jonathan: Okay, Howie your turn.
Howie: Wellth, I thinkth thath Christina Aguilera should cometh offth of the listh, cause thee only cameth outh after mah girl Britney came out, trying to taketh tthhe thame road to fame.
Howie didn't know that Christina was hanging around to go out with Justin after he's done taping the show, and storms out onto stage.
Christina: Alright, listen here, lisp boy. I DID NOT ride Britney's coat tails to fame! I have talent and people like me...I am a good singer and I am all natural, right Justin?
[Justin nods his head furiously] And it's AWGEELERRRRRRRA, GOD DAMNIT!!! YOU'RE LATINO, YOU SHOULD KNOW!!!!!!!!!!
Christina knocks Howie's chair over, with Britney still on it, and starts fighting Howie. Of course, she wins 'cause Howie is a latin lover, not a fighter.
Justin: Ay yo gurl!! Youz betta calm down ova dere cuz if not ya gunna be too tired fah tonight...
Audience: [collectively] IFYAKNOWWHATAHMSAYIN'!!!!!!!!!
Justin: Hey, how'd you know?!?
Jonathan: We just did! JC, who do you wanna knock off of the list?
JC: Well, I think that I'm going to knock Innosense off of the list. Nikki and the rest of them are all a bunch of big old skanks, esp Nikki. She stole Jerome from me, and she knew how much I loved him and needed him. But now my Bobbi is beautiful. All I have to do is buy her things and she loves me...all the white tank tops I can afford!! [reaches into his pocket and takes his wallet out] See? She's so beautiful in all of her white tank tops. And she won't take Jerome. Then again, I have no money to buy anything from Jerome, but he trusts me. And Bobbi loves me. My crack and my girl!! I can't ask for anything more...maybe a few more solos but that's ALL!!!!!! [collapses from over-exertion]
Britney: MY TURN!!
Jonathan: No Britney, I'm sorry. Since you didn't give a number two choice, we can't let you take one off, cause we need to have 8 choices up there. Since all three guys took off one, there are 8 up there. So now the studio audience can vote.
Britney: [looks at Jonathan all sexily] I can't take one off?
Christina: Brit, I hate to say this, but the only reason you are more famous than me is because you are Justin's girlfriend.
Justin: No way, Christina! You know me an dat skank aint nothing. It's all bout you, an you be knowing dat. Eva since da MMC, it's been you.
Britney: Ju...Justin...I thought that you and I were getting married? That's what your mother told me.
Justin: Ah gots to jet.
Justin got up out of the chair and jetted out of the room, tripping over JC's legs cuz they were sprawled out after falling asleep in his chair. Britney chased after Justin, and Christina chased after Britney. Howie and Jonathan were left to discuss how it feels to be the "left-out member" of boybands.
