Keep in mind, a big fan is NOT a good thing. This can also be titled "How To Be An Unoriginal No Authority Fan" or the honest and to the point "Ways To Get No Authority To Make Fun Of You"
Holly, 15 – “Like OMG. I bought your book, and like.. next time I went to see No Authority, I met them after the show. I was like “OMG OMG OMG Tommy, you are SO HOT” (See Rule 4) And then like he looked at me, and looked at Danny, and they both started laughing !!!! AERGHH!!!!”
*Betty, 17 – “I went to see No Authority in concert last week, and got the BEST idea when I saw your book! I made this shirt, it said NA in the middle, and then Beautiful Girl bedazzled on the top and bottom. (See Rule 7) OMG. Then I wore it and stood front row. I know they saw me, and I KNOW they made fun of me after the show!!! THEN to top it off, I had them sign my photo album AGAIN!! YES! I have their autographs 4 times now, on the SAME page! (See Rule 3) Woo Hoo!!!”
I would like to state that although the "Holly" story is fake, the "Betty" story is VERY true, and was very disturbing.
Here’s just SOME of the ways you TOO can be unoriginal, and get No Authority to make fun of you!
6 Easy Steps To Becoming A BIG FAN!
1. Give Ricky some kind of pig memorabilia: Think about it, EVERYONE gives him pig stuff. Do you really think he keeps yours? Pssh NO. Unless it's 24 karat gold, I'll tell you what it's being used for. A rag to clean up Tommy's spilled 40's.. maybe Eric cuts it up and makes a FingerPal, or Danny rips it open and pulls out the stuffing to make Ricky cry. 2. Hold up a “Can I Get Your Number?” Sign: Of course that's just one fine example, variations include "No Authority Is What I Wanna Do!" "Hey Eric, Make Me Dance!" etc. etc. 3. Ask them to autograph something that you ALREADY have autographed by them: Ok, autographs are stupid enough to begin with. What do you gain by having someones signature? That's just retarded. But why gets someones autograph MORE THAN ONCE? Why?? It's just their handwriting, not their boxers. Ugh. I have a huge problem with all that, sorry.
4. Tell your favorite how “hot” he is: They hear it enough, they don't need you to tell them. No one likes a boyband with an ego. 5. Make a video of you singing their songs, or dancing to them and give it to them: Do you realize how stupid this makes you look? If someone gives me a tape, and they are singing and dancing.. even if it's not MY song, I'm gonna laugh. But if it was something that my group sang. Oh damn, I'd watch it everyday and just rip on them. 6. Shit, make them a video of you doing ANYTHING No Authority related: Yeah, we had to extend this rule. Even worse than giving them your performance, is giving them you professing your undying love for Danny. Scary shit, I wouldn't recommend it. 7. Wear something that says No Authority on it: Think of it this way, when you date a guy.. do you wear shirts with his picture on it? A necklace with his name on it? His name written in lipstick on your cheek? If you do, you need help. So WHY do this for No Authority?
8. Scream when you meet them: Nothing a guy loves more than a screaming psycho teenybopper. 'Nuff said.And that's just SOME of the great tips you'll get in this book! You know you want to be a BIG FAN! Sign up today! All proceeds benefit the Stretch What Foundation For Hyperactive Children.
