When we got there, three of the four guys were leaving with Eric's family. Eric got left behind because his family doesn't love him.. Poor Jacko. The guys got back and to make up for the fact that they forgot Eric, Josh Weiner offered to race with him, if Eric won then Weiner would buy him something to eat. Eric agreed.
It was so crunk cause NO ONE other than my friends and NA and random hotel guests were around. So they decided that they would do a potato sack race...in Wetsuits. (It was all they had since their luggage got lost.) No lie. So they're all dressed in these outfits and ready to go. Down they hopped through the hotel walkway. (It was one of those hotels with outdoor entrances to each room.) Eric ended up hopping over to me and drawing a moustache on my face with a marker. It wasn't a pretty site cause it turns out that I am allergic to marker ink. OH NO! I ended up getting bumps all over my face, and then when I tried to wash the sharpie off, I rubbed half my face off!
Meanwhile Danny was eating all these TV dinners. He was heating them up on a campfire he started by the pool. (It was only like 30 degrees outside, we were cold!) Tommy was standing on one leg, spinning in circles, eating popsicles. I don't know WHY because it was SO cold!! I think Tommy had about 53 popsicles that night. The coolest thing I EVER saw was when Tommy put on roller skates and spun around on THEM. Hidden talents, they're amazing.
After Eric sharpied me and I got a rash, The DAWG declared himself the winner and celebrated by Square Dancing with Ricky in the middle of the courtyard. (They had a portable record player with Old McDonald Had A Farm playing)
Finally, they went into their hotel rooms. They invited us in. Hells yeah! So inside the room they had all these posters of Vanilla Ice. Eric's mom had brought his pet snake from home in Cali and the DAWG was still in the racing mood after winning the last one so he raced the snake(it's name was RanayRenee). "the DAWG" walked backwards with his eyes closed and the snake won..
Since Eric still hadn't eaten he ordered a pizza with pineapple and anchovies to be delivered. While he waited he taught Ricky how to make T-shirts out of paper bags. After all, the guys didn't have any clothes to wear. Danny was in the bathroom the whole time we were in the room, those TV dinners really got to his belly.
By the time Eric's food got there Ricky had made new shirts for all 4 members of NA, Eric's snake (not THAT snake you perverts!) RenayRenee and my friends and I. When Eric was looking for the money to pay for his pizza, the guy who brought it (he ended up being a BIG FAN) stole the lamp from the room. She later claimed to the police it was for something to remember NA by. Tommy taught her a lesson by shaving off all of her hair and putting a pink "Q" on the back.. (He got the idea from ME, that's my haircut too!)
Danny came out of the bathroom vigorously brushing his teeth and singing "The Itch" He walked out, walked into a table and passed out. (Remember, the pizza guy stole the lamp, there was no light!)
Tommy threw up and said he wanted to go to bed. Apparently, he's not used to eating 53 popsicles while roller skating on one leg and spinning in circles...he normally only has 32 popsicles and skateboards.
Since Tommy was tired and Danny passed out, Eric, Ricky and the DAWG all picked my friends and I up and carried us into Mel & Crystal's hotel room. When they got there they saw the picture of the dawg on the door, Ricky and Eric screamed and dropped us, turned around and ran back to their rooms. On their way back, they ran into a soda machine and BOTH were knocked unconscious. The DAWG clapped his hands and declared "that wash sho shatishyfying"
Ten minutes later we had settled in with the dawg, and we all sat around drinking Long Island Iced Teas and snorted cocaine.
That’s what REALLY happened, and don't let Kate tell you otherwise.
Read Kate's Review - Read Jen's Review
