When we got there, three of the four guys were leaving with Danny's family. Tommy got left behind because he was in the middle of a heated game of Solitaire. When the other guys tried to tell him they were leaving, he spit on their shoes and barked like a dog. Anyways, the guys got back and to make up for the fact that they forgot Tommy, Ricky offered to race with him, if Tommy won then Ricky would buy him something to eat. Tommy agreed.
It was so crunk cause NO ONE other than my friends and NA and random hotel guests were around. So they decided that they would do a three legged race...in their underoos. (It was all they had since their luggage got lost.) No lie. So they all strip down to their Superman/Batman/Wonder Woman undies and are ready to go. Since they suddenly realized they would each need partners to do the three legged race, Ricky grabbed my friend Kate and Tommy pulled Bommy out of his back pocket. After tying their legs together, down they hobbled through the hotel walkway. (It was one of those hotels with outdoor entrances to each room.) Tommy was in the lead until Bommy saw Dodie standing by the snack machine and dragged Tommy along with him over to her. Turns out, Tommy is allergic to Dodie and oh NO! He ended up with a rash all over his face!
Meanwhile Eric was eating all these celery sticks. He was spreading peanut butter on them with his feet.. (It was so gross!)
Danny was doing the splits, eating potpies. I think he had about 87 potpies that night. The coolest thing I EVER saw was when Danny put on flippers and did the funky chicken. Hidden talents, they're amazing.
After Tommy got dragged over to Dodie by Bommy and got a rash, Ricky declared himself the winner and celebrated by running onto the highway and doing the running man alongside traffic.
Finally, they went into their hotel rooms. They invited us in. Hells yeah! So inside the room they had all these posters of Milli Vanilli. Danny's mom had brought his pet snail from home in Cali and Ricky was still in the racing mood after winning the last one so he raced the snail (it's name was Red Riding Hood). Ricky thought he'd be faster if he walked on his hands, but the snail won.
Since Tommy still hadn't eaten he ordered hot dogs to be delivered. While he waited he taught Danny how to make Supafly necklaces out of skittles and string. After all, the guys didn't have any clothes to wear. Eric was in the bathroom the whole time we were in the room, those celery sticks really got to his belly.
By the time Tommy's food got there, Danny had made new necklaces for all 4 members of NA, his snail Red Riding Hood and my friends and I. When Tommy was looking for the money to pay for his hot dogs, the guy who brought it (he ended up being a BIG FAN) stole the bed from the room. He later claimed to the police it was for something to remember NA by. Ricky taught him a lesson by giving him a perm and dressing him in girl's clothing.
Eric came out of the bathroom blow drying his hair and singing "Liquid Dreams". He walked out, stepped in a puddle of water and *PFFFT*, Eric was sizzlin. After that he smelled like burnt toast so the other guys made him sleep in the potted plant outside. Danny threw up and said he wanted to go to bed. Apparently, he's not used to eating 87 pot pies while doing the splits...he normally only has 53 pot pies and does the mambo. Since Danny was tired and Eric was spooning in the potted plant outside, Ricky and Tommy all put my friends and I in their remote control wheelbarrow and maneuvered us into Mel & Crystal's hotel room. From their position at their door with the remote control, they saw the picture of The Dawg on the door. They screamed and threw the remote at us, knocking us out of the remote control wheelbarrow. After being knocked unconscious, we awoke to The REAL Dawg dragging us in the hotel room saying "That wash funny shtuff."
Ten minutes later we had settled in with The Dawg and were singing "I Like It" while drinking Fuzzy Navels and shooting up.
That’s what REALLY happened, and don't let Kate or Brit tell you otherwise.
Peace.
Jen
Read Brit's Review - Read Kate's Review
