May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Josh Weiner please stand up?
I repeat, if your last names Weiner please stand up?
No one? We're gonna have a problem here..

Y'all act like you never seen a big hot dog before
Jaws all on the floor like Oscar and Mayer just burst in the door
And No Authority sounds worse than before
I beat them up and threw them over furniture [Ahh!]
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
Yeah, Josh the dawg said... Keaton? You idiot!
Your name is Weiner, your license even says so [Ha-ha!]
None of the women love dawgie dawg [chigga chigga chigga]
"Josh Keaton, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin around riding on NSYNC's nuts, managed by you-know-who"
"Yeah, but he sings good though!"
Well, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than when I was in that reject boygroup
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
no one will let me on, you haven't seen me that's the proof
"My name is really Weiner, my name is really Weiner"
And if I'm lucky, you might not call me that either
And that's the message that I deliver, Keaton it is
And expect them not to know what a real Weiner I is
Of course they gonna know what my last name is
By the time they hit the Thank You's
They got the "Keep On" CD, don't they?
"We ain't nothing but Weiners..." Well, some of us Navarro's
I cut up that Weiner name just like a cantoloupe
But if I can go be Weiner here and Keaton there
Then maybe I'm just scared of my name, why do you even care?
But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Putting those two names together, Keater-Weiner there he goes!

I'm Josh Keaton, just call me Josh Keaton
But my names really Weiner I'm just imitating
So when you say Josh Weiner I won't stand up,
won't stand up, won't stand up.

Will Shmith don't gotta lishp in his shongsh to shell recordsh;
well I do, sho shcrew him and schrew you too!
You think I give a damn about the Grammy's?
Half of you critics don't even know me, but it don't hurt me
"But Josh, what if you went, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? I'm NSYNC's bitch, they can just take me there
I'll sit with, Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears
Shit, I'm wishing Tara Reid would just switch me chairs
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and start to curse
About him banning me from TRL cuz I'm the worst.
You little bitch, put Josh Keaton on MTV!!!
"No way dawg, you're just nothing but a Weiner, hee-hee!"
I should download my audio on MP3
and show the whole world how I was singing "Hercules"
I'm sick of you girls that call me Weinerdog, all you do is annoy me
Did someone just send you to destroy me?
Cuz there's a million others just like me
who change their name in hopes of selling 10 CD's
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
They just might be a poser, but not quite me!

I'm Josh Keaton, just call me Josh Keaton
But my names really Weiner I'm just imitating
So when you say Josh Weiner I won't stand up,
won't stand up, won't stand up.

I'm like a headache to listen to, cause I'm only singing you
songs like "Don't Stop" that you laugh at in your living room
The only difference is I had the balls to say it
in front of y'all, that I didn't think that group was going anywhere at all
I just got up the nerve and did it
and whether they like to admit it - I just QUIT it
now I'm a solo star, but I still love really Dan
It was MY voice that made the kids eat up those albums like valiums
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
My CD won't be out, but with NSYNC I'm still touring
Wiping Justin's ass when I'm done cleaning Lances
And I'm mad because my promise of fame just isn't working
And every single day I'm just Josh Weiner lurking
I'll be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
Or in the parkin lot, circling
Screaming "Weiners for a buck!"
In the Weiner wagon with the system up
So, will the real Weiner please stand up?
And keep that last name, don't just give it up.
And be proud of your Daddy and keep it you'll be on a roll
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

I'm Josh WEINER, yes I'm the real WEINER
I finally will say it, cuz I'm the one and only
So when you say Josh WEINER I will stand up,
will stand up, will stand up.

Guess there's a little Weiner in all of us...
HAHA. Let's all stand up....