Do ya'll ever wonder what the guys of NA do in their spare time? Well, besides their "other places of employment" such as the local Taco Bell, Wal-Mart, and 7-11...the guys tend to be rather creative. (After all, as singers, that means they can write, act, produce, and occasionally get their own talk show. Pssh.) Anyways, as some of you may or may not know, Eric Stretch is one member of NA that fills his long days off with some time spent online. What does he do online all day you ask? Well, we know he doesn't chat because he blocks everyone! Lol. Anyways, I (Jen), found out by hacking into Stretch's private email account. (Let me tell you, it's not too hard when fingerpal@hotmail.com's password is...FINGERPAL! Lol.)
So anyhow, after hacking into his email, I found out that he writes fan fic! Ya know how he said he HATES Aaron Carter cuz he (and I quote) "sucks"? Oh no no no...turns out that Eric doesn't hate Aaron at all. Check it out...
Rubbing his eyes tiredly, Eric sat upright in his racecar bed before yawning unenthusiastically. "Ugh, another day off..." he thought to himself, referring to the inconsistent schedule that revolved around his group No Authority. "Well," he said aloud in the large toy filled room, "at least if we're not on tour I don't have to deal with those stupid girls in my facken face. The GALPALS as they call themselves. I say..whatEVER!!"
Making his way downstairs, he grabbed a handful of gummi worms out of the candy dish sitting on a table near the steps. Stumbling into the kitchen, his mother looked up at him from where she sat reading the morning paper. Taking in her tall son's baggy gray sweatpants, white tshirt, and skunk streaked hair that stuck out in every direction, she sighed. "Good morning Eric...or should I say, afternoon?"
Looking at the clock over the sink, Eric rolled his eyes. "FUCK YOU. It's only 3:30. I'm up in time for TRL." Then, tossing his nose in the air, he flung a gummi worm at Mama Stretch and hitting her in the forehead, he left the room.
Walking haughtily into the TV room, Eric clicked on the television and sat down crosslegged on the couch. Flipping the channels to get to MTV, he finally rested on the music station just as Carson welcomed everyone to the day's edition of TRL. Waiting for the #10 video to be announced, Eric sat on the edge of his seat as he wondered if any of his online buddies had voted for CIGY# on the popular music show. Then, frowning slightly, he remembered that he didn't have any online buddies to vote cuz he had blocked them all. "Oh well, FACK THEM. Come on Carson, play my song dammit!" he screeched at the TV.
"And the number #10 request of the day is..." Carson began as Eric held the remote tightly with his long fingers. "...Nelly with EI."
"Oh my GOD. I can't believe it." Eric shouted overdramatically, throwing the remote. "I'm SO sick of this show. It sucks. That's it. It sucks." About ready to abandon his television watching in order to hop online for some good old fashioned blocking, Eric got up off the couch and reached for the power button. Just as he was about to give Carson the bird and turn off MTV, Eric heard Carson announce the guests for the day.
"And today...Aaron Carter will be here. Yeah, that's right, Nick's baby brother. He'll be here to talk about his upcoming cd..." Carson rambled on about Aaron and his fatty brother Nick for a little while longer as Eric's heart leapt at the sound of Aaron's name.
Skipping upstairs happily, Eric quickly got dressed in a blue tshirt emblazoned with Aaron's picture and the words "Come Get It" underneath, a pair of khaki cargo pants, and the tube socks that he stole from Britney Spears when NA toured with her. Rushing into the bathroom, he brushed his teeth vigorously and ran his fingers through his tangled hair before gathering up his most favoritest Aaron pinups and racing back downstairs.
Darting around the corner into the TV room, he almost ran smack into Mama Stretch, who was vaccuming the rug in the front hallway. "MOVE IT OR LOSE IT SISTA!" Eric screamed in her ear as he hurdled the vaccum cleaner and did an ariel cartwheel onto the couch, just in time to see Aaron enter the TRL soundstage.
Turning the volume up so he could hear over the noise his mother was making, Eric smiled contentedly as Aaron began talking.
"Well Carson, I've got a song on 'The Rugrats In Paris' Soundtrack, and I'm gonna be going on tour soon." Aaron stated, even though Carson was paying absolutely no attention to him as he tried to wrangle the Nick fans that were trying to get Aaron's attention.
"Honey, aren't you on that soundtrack too?" Eric's mom asked politely as she entered the room.
"What?" Eric replied, not tearing his eyes away from the 12 year old on screen.
"And weren't you supposed to tour with Aaron or something? He's so cute! In fact...he doesn't take after his fatty brother at all!" Mama Stretch exclaimed, smiling at the TV.
"SHUT THE FACK UP MOM!" Eric screamed, frustrated. "Can't you see I'm SO trying to watch this?" he asked, irritated as he gestured wildly towards the TV with his hands.
Unfazed by her son's outburst, Mama Stretch shrugged her shoulders and went about her cleaning.
Finally Aaron's segment was drawing to a close as the blonde baby faced youth turned to the camera and waved, giving a shoutout to his family and a mysterious "Fingerpal".
"OH MY GOD!" Eric held a hand over his heart as he reeled in shock. "Oh my GOD. Mom, bring me a kleenex, I think I'm going to cry! Oh my god. The little hoover got my letters. I'm Fingerpal!" he shouted, giddy as he raised the roof. Jumping off the couch he began to do a little dance. "I'm Fingerpal, I'm Fingerpal. Eric. Eric Lee. Eric Lee Stretch, that's me...Fingerpal...hey!"
Filled with happiness and excitement, Eric suddenly had a brainstorm. Running upstairs, he grabbed a handful of Aaron pinups, Aaron's first cd, a clean pair of underwear, and his Top Gun glasses. Shoving them all in a gray backpack labeled "IMA JACKOFF" that he stole from Danny, he raced back downstairs and kissed his mom on the cheek. "Gotta run mom! I'll be home in...well...I don't know. Don't wait up for me!" he exclaimed as he grabbed the keys to Mortimer off the kitchen counter.
"Where are you going?" his mom asked, confused.
"FUCK YOU!" Eric laughed, then waved goodbye and bounded out to Mortimer. Within moments, he had hopped in and was on the road.
Days later...
Eric hopped out of Morty and slammed the door quickly as he stood openmouthed in front of a large Florida home. "Ew. I SO hate Tampa. Everyone here is a...Tampon." he said disgustedly, taking in the ghetto fabulous surroundings. The home in front of him was well taken care of, but the busted buildings nearby told him the "real" about Tampa, FL.
Taking a deep breath and running his hand through his hair, Eric walked confidently up to the front door. Trying to remain calm, the stretchy bendy boy quickly did the dance moves from "What I Wanna Do" as he sang..."What I wanna do Aaron, what I wanna do..."
After getting his blood flowing, he pasted a bright smile on his face and knocked on the white front door of the Carter home. Moments after he knocked, an older boy opened the door with a shocked expression on his face.
"FATTY! WHAT THE FUCK?!" Eric screamed. "Um...I mean, hey Nick...is Aaron home?"
"Look Eric," Nick said impatiently, "Aaron's gotten your letters. He gave you a shoutout on TRL. He's invited you on tour with him."
"Yeah and he facken kicked us off TWICE!" Eric huffed.
"Well Aaron's not here right now, okay?" Nick explained.
"I've got time. I'll wait."
Nick raised a questioning eyebrow before erupting in laughter. "Yeah, I guess you DO have time...considering you tour about oh...once a year." Then, he quickly shut the door before Eric could scream a reply.
Walking forlornly back to his truck, Eric spoke softly as he reached into the cab and grabbed his tent. "Looks like it's me and you Morty..." Then, hopping into the bed of the blue truck, the tall man began carefully setting up the large tent.
Inside the Carter home...
Aaron walked into the entryway from the kitchen, gripping a soda in his tiny hand. "Who was at the door?" he asked, his mouth full of food as he looked inquisitively at his older brother.
"Eric Stretch." Nick replied nonchalantly.
Aaron's eyes grew wide as he swallowed his food. "Really? What's he doing here? Why'd you let him leave? Is he coming back?"
Reaching out and giving Aaron a brotherly noogie, Nick just sighed, "Aaron, he's too old for you."
"But Nick!" the tiny blonde started to protest as his mind drifted back to the first letter Eric wrote him...
Alright...I guess that's Chapter 1 of this...interesting fan fic Eric is writing. I'll post Chapter 2 when I hack back into his email and find it, aight? Peace.
*Disclaimer*--This story is not inferring that Eric is a homosexual pedophilistic male...it's just inferring that he's a big fan of Aaron Carter! Lol. Peace.
