Chapter 53
Christin walked straight to her office very quickly not allowing a single tear to fall. When she did get to her office, she closed the door and locked it. Sinking down into a chair she cried till she couldn’t cry anymore. She cried for all that was wrong at the moment, for the love she was giving up on, for the woman she was, and the woman who she wanted to be. Kevin knocked on and Christin let him after checking to make sure no one else was with him and locking the door behind him.
“What’s wrong Chris? And I don’t wanna hear nothing. I see that you have been crying tears. That isn’t something you do often. Crying ain’t your style remember?” Kevin tried to lighten up the mood.
She walked over to him and hugged him and started to cry all over again.
“Ssh. Don’t cry. Tell me what is wrong. Crying won’t help solve your problems tell me and I will try to help. Please!!” He rubbed her back.
“Kev. I can’t do this anymore.” She continued to cry while Kevin was still at a loss.
“Can’t do what? Chris you gotta tell me.” He said as he tried to soothe her.
Christin wiped her tears away and tried to stop crying as she realized what she was doing. She let go of Kevin and began to walk, really pace, around the office. “Life! It’s just…God. Kevin, I’m sure you know what happened my last night in Orlando. A.J. has most likely told you and if he hasn’t I will. A.J. and I slept together. It was great. No I take that back. It was magical. The only problem is that it made me realize I have strong feelings for A.J. The problem with that you are probably wondering. I can’t openly say it. I won’t say it. I’ll not ruin his career and your career and the rest of the guy’s career. Besides that I can’t take all the stuff that comes with a highly publicized relationship. All the press. Granted I have never been in a highly publicized relationship, I know peeps. And frankly I doubt I can trust anyone that much. No it just isn’t in me. I have seen what kind of stuff comes with these kinda relationships. I wasn’t even with Tom, Travis, or Mark, yet I still get badmouthed sometimes. I used to think just ignore it. Ignore it all and it will go away. They don’t know me so they could have no possible idea about what they are talking about. NEWSFLASH! It doesn’t just go away. It hurts like hell every time you hear a bad comment from someone. I realize now I do care what other people think about me.” Right about now Christin was on the verge of breaking down and Kevin was just letting her go on like that cause it was good for her to get it out and he felt like he needed to hear it to understand her better. “Kevin I’m so confused. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m just sorry that I screwed up so bad with A.J.”
“You didn’t screw up so badly with A.J. But I think I can help you a little. You sound like what you really need is a vacation. You should really come with us up to Seattle. We have a charity thing up there to do.” Kevin tried to coax her into coming.
“Yeah I know I need a vacation badly but I can’t take a vacation. I have work to do. Work that will just pile up while I am gone. No, but thanks anyways.” She sat down.
“Well if you are worried about work we will call it a business trip. You are in fact our manager so we need you to go and supervise. And if you want work, I’m sure you can bring some with you or I’ll find some.” Kevin smiled.
“I don’t know.” Christin said uncertainly.
“Well I do. You can even bring Amanda. Y’all will share a room but that’s cool. And she told me hat she doesn’t have any school until the 23rd. It will be good for Amanda too and you know if you don’t go she won’t and that would be wrong of you to make her stay.” Kevin tried to lay on guilt.
“Fine. You guys will be leaving from here on the ninth and leaving from SeaTac the eightieth. Correct?”
“All check and go.” Kevin smiled big.
“Fine then. I will go on two conditions. One. Amanda goes. I will go only and that is only if Amanda goes.” She paused. “And two. Stop smiling.” She laughed.
“You’re the one in charge. Just make plane arrangements and hotel arrangements and we are all set.” Kevin tried to stop from smiling but was unsuccessful.
“Yeah. Now go and leave me be so I can make all those arrangements that you never mentioned before I agreed.” She laughed.
Kevin got up and walked to the door. “See ya later.”
“Later.” Christin called as Kevin opened the door and left.
A few minutes later Amanda knocked on the door and walked in. “You okay?”
“I’m fine. No need to worry bout me. It’s all gravy baby. Kevin really calmed me down. I do need to ask you something though and please don’t be mad at me.”
“I have something to ask you too.” Amanda walked in and took a seat.
“Okay you first.”
”I’m not trying to cause any problems but how could you sleep with someone I liked? I thought that we agreed we wouldn’t do that to each other.” Amanda said cautiously.
“Amanda, chica, I love you. You are the only other family I have besides my dad. In truth you are my sister. And that is why I am not going to sit here and lie to you girly. Down in Orlando it was so hard to just be friends with A.J. And then when he stopped by my place and kissed me something inside of me snapped in a way. To begin with I ran but when I couldn’t run anymore and he was still there, it just felt so right. I know you don’t want the details of that night but I will tell you what I said to Kevin. It was magical what me and A.J. had that night. I’m sorry Amanda but that is the truth.”
“Thank you for being honest with me. I mean I don’t want you to get the wrong idea or anything, I don’t like Alex like that any longer but I just had to know. And thank you for telling me.”
“It wasn’t done to hurt you. Anything but. I just wasn’t thinking about that. Please believe me.”
“I believe you. I just need to know for sure and now I know. So what did you wanna ask me?” She crossed her legs.
“Seattle. Would you like to go?” I’m going and I need a roommate. We would leave Wednesday. The Firm would cover all charges for such things like airfare and the hotel. So wanna go?” Christin hoped she would say no. She wasn’t really looking forward to going on a week with all the guys, in particular, A.J. But she had to at least ask Amanda.
“What about work?”
“It’s a business trip. You can claim to be my assistant. Only if you wanna go though.”
“That is cool. I think I can go. But now I gotta go home and pack. Later girl.”
“Later.” Christin called out as she logged on to the Internet.
“Welcome you’ve got mail.”
Since she had gotten back from Orlando she and Boner had only sent e-mails to each other about once a week. Today just happen to be the day she had receive a mail.
“Hey Christin. Well I’m just about to head out to the airport. Just wanted to check and see was up. Nothing much on my end. Well later…love ya…Boner.”
Christin clicked reply and began to type.
“Boner. Have I got some stuff to talk to you about and I really need your honest opinion. Have you ever loved someone so much that you just wanna grab them and hold onto them like there is no tomorrow? Well that is how I feel about this guy. The only problem is I don’t know how or if I wanna tell him. Before today, I can’t honestly say that I have love some one other than my family and friends. That’s right. I have never loved a man. Until today that is. I think I was in love with him earlier but just never realized what it was that I felt. The problem with this is that I don’t know how to show that I love him. I’m not sure I want t show him. I’ll tell you, he’s kinda high profile. I don’t wan to ruin his career. Its not only his but also four other people careers. I don’t think that it would be so bad if it was just us but there is something else that would just destroy his career. I can’t do that to him. I just can’t. Right now all that I could associate with this is a Brandy song, “Have You Ever.” Those lyrics. “Have you ever love somebody so much it makes you cry. Have you ever needed something so bad you can’t sleep at night.” I have cried already. If I’ll be able to sleep, I seriously doubt. I better get back to work. Thanks for being there. Always…Christin
Back To Chapter Page
Chapter 52
Chapter 54
Email: EmptyPt@aol.com