Amy finally got off my back and seemed quite satisfied that I had finally developed an honest to goodness relationship with a member of the opposite sex. It was kind of relaxing not having her bug me about loosening up for once.
It was 11:30 at night and the four of us were sprawled around the living room flipping through the television trying to find something to amuse us.
"Ugh, this sucks major ass!" Amy complained as she threw down the remote in disgust. "There's nothing on!"
"I know. I am so bored," I added. At that moment I was curled up on the couch with Nick already in my blue PJ pants and a gray tank top, all ready for bed.
"We should like play a game or something," Nick suggested.
"Yea, maybe but which one?" I asked.
"How about strip poker?" Amy suggested with an evil grin.
"Let's not and say we did," I said sarcastically. Although I had loosened up a little over this past week I hadn't loosened up that much yet.
"Aww, come on Lyssa! You're no fun," Amy protested.
"How about a nice, easy, laidback game of Truth or Dare," AJ suggested.
"Sounds like a good idea to me," Amy told him. "In fact I already dare Lyssa to pick dare!"
It was no secret that I feared dare. I was always scared of looking like an idiot and now as I got older the dare's got worse. Anyway besides being a chicken I knew that Amy had a very nasty mind and could come up with some pretty juicy dares especially if we were playing with guys like now.
"No way Amy!" I told her. "Truth for me all the way!"
"Aww, at least consider it. It's only a game and it;s just for fun. Nothing leaves this house anyway," Amy promised. "Well, who wants to go first?"
"I'll go first," Nick offered bravely. "Amy, truth or dare?"
"Hmm, let me take the Lyssa way out and pick truth," she said teasing me.
"Haha, very funny," I said dryly.
"OK, are you still a virgin?" Nick asked her.
Amy paused and seemed to be thinking very carefully about that one. You'd think she was trying to solve a very difficult algebra equation instead of answering a simple question. Finally she spoke, "Well, yea I still am a virgin, at least technically."
"What exactly do you mean by technically?" Nick asked her curiously.
"I mean that I've never actually gone all the way yet but I have nothing against a little foreplay," she explained as she shot AJ a seductive grin from across the room.
"I'm sorry I even asked," Nick mumbled under his breath.
"That was definitely more than we really needed to know!" I added laughing.
"OK, Lyssa. I'll get you back for that one! You just wait," Amy threatened. "Truth or Dare?"
I don't know what came over me but for once in my life I started to really let my hair hang down and just let go. Maybe it was because I wanted to prove that I could be wild, unpredictable and crazy. For whatever the reason I picked Dare.
"OMG Folks! She's actually done it! Lyssa actually picked-could it be? Dare?" Amy exclaimed making a big deal out of it totally embarrassing the hell out of me.
"Shut up Amy!" I mumbled. I suddenly got a feeling that I was going to regret this until the day I died.
"OK, I dare you to...umm, hmm..." she said trying to think of the best possible way to torture me. "OK! I got it! I dare you to flash Nick!"
"What?!" I asked. This was worse than I'd imagined! I wouldn't do it! I just couldn't! I'd rather just curl up and die.
"You heard me," Amy said slyly with a satisfied grin on her face.
"In front of everyone?" I asked nervously biting my lip.
"You can go over to the corner if you like," she told me.
"No way! I'm sorry I can't do it," I mumbled as I felt my face turning red.
"Don't push her Amy. If she doesn't want to don't make her," Nick interjected.
"Yea, but if she doesn't do that then I have to come up with a consequence and we all know that the consequence is always worse than the dare," she replied.
Ugh, I thought. I hate when people talk about me like I'm not even there and make me sound like a total baby. Even though I was the youngest in the house (Amy had just turned 19) I was sick of being the shyest. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and I stood up and blurted out, "OK, fine! I'll do it!"
I got up and dragged Nick over to the corner my heart pounding and my face beet red. Why did I find it so important to prove myself to everyone else? This was definitely my most embarrassing moment but it was my choice to do this right? All I knew is when I got my hands on Amy she would pay dearly.
I slowly grabbed the bottom of my tank top and shut my eyes tightly knowing that if I looked at Nick it would only make this horrible ordeal 10 times worse. I quickly took in a deep breath and pulled my tank top up then put it back down just as quick.
As I slowly opened my eyes I could see the stunned expression on Nick's face and it just literally wanted to make me cry with embarrassment. The prices I had to pay just to fit in! Was it all worth it? I quickly headed back over to the couch sitting as far away as possible from Nick and buried my head in a pillow.
The game went on but I couldn't concentrate on it. The feeling of humiliation and shame would not go away and I could barely bring myself to look Nick in the face. Soon the game ended and we all decided to go to bed. I tried to sneak upstairs without even saying goodnight to Nick but I didn't quite make it.
"Aren't you going to walk me downstairs?" Nick asked me.
Ever since the first night we kissed it was our little ritual for me to walk him downstairs to his bedroom. It was the stupidest thing but it was like tradition with us.
"Oh, yea I guess so. I just forgot," I told him as I turned around and walked back downstairs to the basement with him.
When we reached his door I fought for words to say but I couldn't think of a damn thing. What was I supposed to say?
"Would you like to come in for a while?" he asked slyly.
I shook my head pretending not to get what he was hinting at and began to walk up the stairs when he called, "Lyssa, wait! No goodnight kiss?" then he gave me that irresistible puppy dog grin.
I turned back around and dropped a light kiss on his lips. He surprised me by wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing me back harder than I had anticipated. I quickly pulled away and I could tell by the expression on his face he was a little disappointed. I knew that he had wanted more from me but I just wasn't in the mood for making out. I quickly mumbled a goodnight and ran up to my room.
When I reached my doorway tears of frustration began to fall down my face. I was so mixed up! I had wanted to be cool and fit in so then why did I just feel completely humiliated and couldn't seem to get over what had happened? Totally confused I slipped underneath my covers and grabbed my teddy bear. I know, I'm 18 and still have a teddy bear but I don't sleep with him anymore. Only when I feel lonely and confused like tonight.
I snuggled my face up to his fur and started to cry myself to sleep when I realized something that I didn't want to admit. Although I'm trying to act more like an adult lately I'm still a little girl inside. A late bloomer you might say. But the worst part is that I'm trying too hard.