The ICU was quiet when I went back in after the door buzzed to let me through. I didn’t see Shari anywhere, but I saw Laura, the one who yelled at us earlier, sitting at the front desk. Apparently she remembered me from earlier because she frowned at me when I walked past her towards Brian’s room. I knocked softly.

“Come in,” came the loud whisper.

I pushed the door open and went around the curtain. Brian was asleep and Nick was playing Gameboy with the sound off.

“Hey.” He said softly, turning off the Gameboy.

“How is he?” I looked at Brian. The beep of his heart monitor was nice and steady.

“Better. He fell asleep right after you guys left.”

I smiled. “Glad to hear it. Where did you get that?” I pointed to the Gameboy.

He gave me a sheepish grin. “My pocket.”

I laughed. Then I remembered that I was holding his food. I held it out to him and he took it gratefully. He started eating it and I almost regretted not eating mine.

“Thanks.” He said between bites.

“You’re welcome. Is it still warm?”

“Yeah.”

“What about mine?” I jumped and looked towards the new voice. Brian had woken up and was watching us.

“Hey buddy, how are you feeling? You sure didn’t sleep long.” Nick asked with concern.

“The smell of the burger woke me up.” He saw our guilty looks and hastily added, “I wasn’t tired anymore anyway.”

“Do you want me to see if you can have some food?” I asked him.

“No, I’m not really hungry.” Brian shifted his gaze away from us.

“Are you nervous about tomorrow?” I asked him as I sat down on the side of the bed.

“Maybe a little.” He admitted. He was still looking away.

“You’ll do fine, Bri.” Nick said. “Kevin called my cell while you were asleep. He said he got ahold of your parents. They are trying to get a flight down here.”

Brian perked up a little. “That’s great. What about Lee?”

Nick shrugged. “I guess you could try to call her hotel room again.” He got up from his chair and went over to the small dresser that was on the other side of the bed. He opened the top drawer where he put the phone earlier and looked at the screen. “Hey, you have a voicemail.” He handed it to Brian, who sat up a little.

Brian frowned. “I didn’t hear it ring.” He studied it a moment before saying, “go figure. It was on silent.” He pushed a few buttons and then held the phone up to his ear. Nick and I watched him carefully. His face brightened and I knew it had to be Leighanne. I glanced at Nick and he grinned at me. He looked back at Brian and his grin faded. I turned my attention to Brian too. He looked upset. He took the phone away from his ear and pushed another button. Then he listened intently into it again. Another moment went by.

“Nooo...” He murmured as he shook his head in disbelief.

“Brian, what is it?!” Nick exclaimed anxiously.

Wordlessly he handed the phone to Nick. Then he put his face in his hands. I put my hand on his shoulder.

“What happened?” I asked softly. He didn’t answer. I turned to Nick. He was listening to the message and didn’t look very happy either. Finally it was over and Nick looked up.

“Can she listen?” Nick asked Brian.

“I don’t care.”

Nick handed me the phone. “Push 5.”

I did as he said and listened to the automated voice tell me that the message would be replayed. A female voice that I assumed was Leighanne’s came onto the phone. “Hey baby. Guess you are out cruising around. I just wanted to see how you were feeling and to tell you that I am moving to another hotel in about an hour. You won’t be able to call my cell because something is wrong with it. I canceled the service until I can get it fixed when I get back in the States. Anyway, honey, if you need me you can call the hotel. The number is...”

The phone suddenly cut off. I didn’t catch the number. Then the automated voice came back on with it’s list of options. I pressed nine to save it and hung up.

“I’m so sorry, Brian. Is there any number you can call her at?” I felt horrible for him.

“How? Her cell phone was disconnected. That is the only number I had for her. I don’t have any one else’s numbers that are with her. I had no idea they were switching hotels so I have no idea what hotel she went to. And the phone cut off before she could get the whole number out.” He was struggling to keep from crying. His breathing became a little labored.

“We’ll think of something okay?” Nick said as he glanced up at the monitors. “Bri, you are going to make yourself sick again. You can’t get all worked up. I know it is easy for me to say, but you are only going to cause yourself harm. I promise you, we will think of something.”

Brian took a few deep breaths. “I know. You’re right.” He suddenly looked a lot calmer, and I knew he was doing it again. He didn’t want us to worry about him.

Just then the door opened and a man walked in. He was tall, very tan, and had wavy brown hair. He looked like he might have been in his late 40’s. I thought he must have been very good-looking when he was younger.

“Hello Brian. I’m Doctor Hank Johanson. I’ll be taking your case while you are here. How are you feeling?” He held out his hand to Brian and gave him a firm handshake.

Brian smiled faintly. “I’ve been better, but it’s all good.”

Dr. Johanson smiled back. He had a nice smile. I liked him already. “I’m going to look you over and then talk to you about your surgery. That all right with you?”

Brian nodded. I got up and went over to where Nick was sitting. Dr. Johanson sat down in my place.

“First let me listen to you.” He put on his stethoscope and listened to Brian’s chest. “Deep breath.” He instructed.

Brian complied and winced.

“Does it hurt to do that?” Dr. Johanson asked him.

“A little.”

I looked at Nick. “Should I get the rest of the guys?”

He shrugged.

Dr. Johanson heard my question and took off his stethoscope for a minute. “Would you rather I talk to you alone or would you rather the rest of the group be in here too?”

“I guess they should know what is going on right?” he asked.

“It’s up to you.” Dr. Johanson said.

“Okay. Ellie, will go get them for me?” Brian asked.

“Of course. I’ll be right back.” I assured him.

A few minutes later we were all sitting, somewhat cramped, in Brian’s room.

“Okay, some of this is going to be familiar to you from your last surgery, but I will go over it again. It is natural to feel anxious about your surgery, but hopefully after I explain everything your anxiety will be eased a little.” He paused and Brian nodded nervously.

“Your surgery is scheduled for 7:30 tomorrow morning. Right before you do to bed, tonight, your nurse will come in to help you take a shower. You have to use a special kind of soap that kills all the germs. It also prevents infection after the surgery. After midnight tonight you won’t be able to eat anything so if you are hungry you should eat before then. Tomorrow morning we are going to remove the hair on your chest with a clipper. Then you will get to take another shower with that special soap. Tonight here in a couple hours we are going to start giving you an antibiotic through your IV. There will be a couple pills you will have to take tomorrow morning and you will be allowed to have a little bit of water with those. Right before your surgery you will be asked to go to the bathroom. When it is time for you to go to the operating room you will helped onto a gurney and taken to a “holding area.” You will probably be there for about 45 minutes. There will also be other patients in the room with you also waiting for surgery. A nurse will be there to make sure everything is ready and will help you if you need anything. When it is time for you to be wheeled in, you will be taken to the operating room. You will be awake in there for another 45 minutes or so. During this time you will be cleaned with that disinfecting soap again and secured to the table. After that you will be getting another IV into your other arm. Then you will have a special IV placed in your neck.”

Brian’s eyes widened a little at that. “I forgot about that one.” He muttered.

Dr. Johanson gave him a sympathetic smile. “Don't worry. You will be asleep soon after that.”

Brian chuckled nervously. “I hope so.” Nick squeezed his shoulder.

“After the surgery you will wake up in the Surgical Intensive Care Unit. The SICU. You’ll find that you are attached to a lot of tubes. The most obvious will be the endotracheal tube. The tube will go down your trachea, or windpipe. It will be attached to a ventilator which breathes for you while during and after your surgery. You won’t be able to talk and you might feel like coughing or gagging. It is very important to relax and let the machine breathe for you. When you become a little more alert and are able to breathe on your own you will be taken off the ventilator. This usually lasts a day or two. The oxygen mask that you are wearing now will replace it. Then you will get the tube without the mask when you can breathe better on your own. There will be another tube that will go through your nose and down the back of the throat. It is called the nasogastric tube, NG for short, and goes down to your stomach to keep it free of excess stomach fluids during and after your surgery. It will feel a little awkward, like a ticking feeling and it may make your throat feel dry. You won’t be able to eat or drink with it in, but you will be allowed the infamous ice chips again.”

Brian smiled a little. “Good old ice chips.”

Dr. Johanson smiled too. “Just below your breastbone there will be two soft, plastic tubes. They are called mediastinal tubes, or MT’s. These tubes are connected to a container that helps collect and drain fluids around the heart. There will be another tube just below and left of your breastbone called a chest tube, or CT. This will drain the fluid that is in the chest cavity. Last, you will have a Foley catheter inserted in your bladder during the surgery. It is to drain your urine immediately after the surgery and lets the nurse know how you are doing. Most of the other tubes will bring about some tenderness and a tugging feeling especially with movement. The chest tube, because of its position and sutures might be a little more painful when you breathe deeply, cough, or move. Remember to ask your nurse for some pain medication if you need it. These tubes will be removed anywhere from the day of the surgery to within a couple of days. As you continue to improve, you will be transferred to the Cardiac Surgery Unit. I bet a lot of this is familiar to you, huh?” Dr. Johanson gave Brian a sympathetic smile.

“Yeah, but it is a good memory refresher to hear it again.” Brian said.

“Do you have any questions? Any of you for that matter?” Dr. Johanson looked at all of us.

“How long will Brian have to be in here?” Asked Kevin.

“Well, that depends on his recovery. This surgery is a little more delicate than his the one he had few years ago, since his heart is so weak right now. Every time you have to go back in, the process becomes a little more delicate.” He explained. He saw our worried looks and added hastily, “don’t worry though, he will be just fine. Any other questions?”

We all shook our heads.

“Okay then, if you have any more questions have the nurse page me. Brian, if you need anything, please let me know.” Dr. Johanson smiled kindly and shook Brian’s hand before leaving.

An uncomfortable silence followed. All eyes were on Brian waiting for his reaction. He smiled at us.

“Well this should be fun. Nick, finally looks like you might start beating me at basketball for awhile.” He said, trying to lighten the tension in the room.

Nick shook his head. “Whatever, dude. You know that I always win.”

Brian snorted.

“Hey, maybe AJ can beat you now!” Nick snickered.

“Shut up.” AJ retorted back.

“Sorry, truth hurts.” Nick said simply.

“Guys, knock it off.” Kevin sighed.

This might have gone on for hours if Brian’s nurse, Shari, hadn’t come back into the room. “Brian, it is time for your shower. Then after that you should try to get some sleep.” She said.

“Well, the shower I can do, but I am not so sure about being able to sleep.” Brian smiled a little.

“Well, I guess we’ll just go hang out in our room while you are doing that.” Said Kevin. “Have someone let us know when you’re done, okay?”

Brian nodded. We all left together and went back to our waiting room.

“He’s more nervous than he is letting on.” Observed AJ.

“Duh. He’s having a major surgery tomorrow. Wouldn’t you be?” Snapped Nick.

AJ held up his hands defensively. “Don’t bite my head off. You aren’t the only one who is worried about him.”

Nick sighed. “Sorry. I guess I am just a little on edge.”

“We all are, Nick. Brian is going to be fine though.” Howie smiled reassuringly at Nick.

“I know. It’s just that...” Nick’s voice trailed off slowly.

“What about tonight, guys?” Kevin said, changing the subject.

“What about tonight?” Countered AJ.

“Well, they said that they will let one of us at a time be in there with him and I think it would be a good idea if we took turns throughout the night. He wouldn’t admit it, but I think that he would be more comfortable if someone were with him during the night.” Suggested Kevin.

“That is a good idea.” Said Howie. “It will probably be about 10:00 by the time he gets done with his shower thing, right? And his surgery is what? 7:30? So that is nine and a half hours.”

“Is his surgery at 7:30 or is he being taken down there at 7:30?” AJ asked.

“I would guess that he will be taken down there at 7:30. A lot depends on if things are running on time and if any emergencies come up. Didn’t they say he might be down there for awhile before they start?” I asked.

“Yeah. Okay I guess that leaves two hours for each of us except one of us will get an hour and a half.” Kevin paused and looked at me. “Ellie, I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this.”

I laughed because I was concerned about butting in on them. “I want to if you guys are okay with it. I don’t want to over-stay my welcome, though.”

“No, no. You are more than welcome to stay as long as you want to. You are stuck in this anyway. You couldn’t leave even if you wanted to.” Howie grinned at me.

As weird as it felt to be suddenly thrust into this, I was glad that I was. I knew that if I tried to go home I would just sit there and worry about everyone, especially Brian. I was hoping they would let me hang around at least until Brian got through his surgery okay.

“Okay, now that we have that settled, let’s figure out who is taking what shifts.” Kevin said, breaking me out of my thoughts.

“Someone needs to go back to the hotel to get some of our things if we plan on staying here tonight and who knows how late tomorrow.” Said Nick sensibly.

“I need a break from this place so I’ll go.” Offered AJ.

“Would it be better to go later tonight when things are quiet? You know, not as many people out?” Asked Howie.

“Yeah. Well then, AJ, if you are going to go back why don’t you stay with him till midnight. Then you can leave after that. It should be pretty quiet by then.” Kevin suggested. He paused after adding, “I’d rather you didn’t go alone though.”

“I’ll go with him.” Volunteered Howie. “Someone needs to keep an eye out for him so that he doesn’t find trouble.” He winked at me and I grinned back.

“Hey!” Protested AJ.

“Shut up, AJ.” Kevin told him. “I’m talking.”

“Whoa, the master has spoken.” Nick cracked.

We all busted up, including Kevin. Finally he was able to talk again. “Okay now that we got that out of our systems, we can figure this out. I guess you could take the latest shift then, D, that way if you and AJ wanted to stay at the hotel for awhile you could.”

Howie nodded.

“I’ll go from midnight to 2:00 then okay?” Said Nick.

“Okay, then that leaves 2:00 to 4:00 and 4:00 to 6:00. Ellie, which one do you want?” Kevin asked.

I shrugged. “I guess 2:00 to 4:00.”

Kevin nodded. “I have 4:00 to 6:00 then. Okay that is settled.”

By then it was almost 10:00 so AJ headed back to Brian’s room. Howie and Kevin decided that they needed some coffee. That left Nick and I in the room by ourselves.

I looked at Nick. He was sort of staring off into space. “Are you okay?” I asked him softly.

He jumped. “What?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I just asked if you were okay.” I repeated.

“Oh. Just peachy I guess.” He avoided my gaze.

“Nick, he’s going to be okay.” I tried to reassure him. “Is it worse this time because he doesn’t have a choice whether to have the surgery or not?”

He looked at me in confusion. “What do you mean? He didn’t have a choice last time either.”

I thought a moment. “Yeah, but earlier he told me that at least last time he had a choice. It was elective or something.”

Nick shook his head. “He must have meant that he had more of a choice of when he had the surgery. You probably know that he put it off for quite awhile because of touring. He still had to have it though.”

I nodded, understanding. “I thought that was weird when he said that. I get it now though.” I heard a sniffle and turned my head towards Nick again. He looked like he was fighting tears. And failing.

“Oh, Nick.” I said softly. “Come here.” I put my arms around him and just let him cry.