I unlocked my front door and prepared myself for the worst. I knew my apartment was going to be messy, but I didn’t expect the disaster I saw when I flipped on the light. There was an empty pizza box sitting on the coffee table. Plates, glasses, and cups were scattered all over the coffee table and anywhere else that seemed like a safe spot. Sections of the previous day’s newspaper were strewn all over the floor. Articles of clothing were draped over the chairs and piled in a heap. A blanket was crumpled at the end of the couch. I cringed. Here I was, standing in my doorway with a famous Backstreet Boy, and my apartment looked like a tornado had blown through.

How embarrassing.

But then Nick laughed. That brought me back to reality. I wasn’t standing her with a famous Backstreet Boy. It was just my new friend, Nick. Still...

“My maid took the day off.” I joked.

He laughed again. “Looks like my place. I have actually beat this.” His eyes moved around the room.

I shook my head and made my way over to the kitchen counter where my answering machine was. Just as I had guessed, the little red light was flashing urgently.

“Prepare for the onslaught.” Nick warned me.

I raised an eyebrow at him. “It won’t be that bad.”

Nick didn’t reply, but only gave me a knowing look. I pushed the button and then set to the task of finding something to make for dinner.

Beep “Ellie! What’s going on?! Are you okay? I saw the news! You’re with the Backstreet Boys?! Is Brian okay? Are you?! Call me as soon as you get this!!”

I grinned. “That’s Renee, my best friend.” I explained to Nick. He had an amused look on his face.

“She sounded pretty frantic.” He said.

“That’s Renee. She’s probably worried stiff.”

Beep “Hi, it’s me. Just calling to...”

I cut off the machine. “...say hi and see how you are...” I said before the machine could go any further.

“...say hi and see how you are...” My mom’s voice continued.

Nick busted up and I joined him.

Beep “Hi, dear. I just wanted to call to tell you that everything is going good. I’ll call you later cause we are getting ready to go out the door. I love you dear.”

Hearing Jack’s voice made me wish he was here even more.

“That your boyfriend?” Asked Nick.

I nodded.

Beep “Hi, Miss Cage. This is Craig Sanders of News 2. I’ll call back at a better time.”

I sighed. “How did they get my number?”

“You’d be surprised.” Nick muttered.

Beep “Hello, this is Janet Fowler from Channel 8. If we could set up a time for an interview, that would be great. Please call me at...”

“Get real, lady.” I hit “erase” before she could finish.

Beep “Ellie? Renee just called me and told me that she saw you on the news with a Backstreet Boy. What is going on? Call me when you get a chance.”

“That was one of my best friends back home.” I explained to Nick.

Beep “Hi, Ellie Cage. My name is Alan Jergins from the National Enquiror. If you could...”

I raised my eyebrows as I hit erase. This was getting a little crazy.

Beep “Ellie! Why haven’t you called me? You aren’t answering your cell either. Call me!”

I smiled at Renee’s concern. We had been best friends for almost 5 years. It seemed like it was a lot longer because we knew each other better than almost anyone. We complimented each other perfectly in our relationship. She was more disciplined and reserved. I was the spontaneous one that never ran out of energy it seemed. We sort of grounded each other.

The messages went on for a couple more minutes. The rest of them were reporters. It still sort of blew me away that all this was happening. It was one big chaotic zoo and somehow I’d landed myself right in the middle of it. I’ve gotten myself into some stuff before, but this took the cake.

Satisfied that my apartment was at least decent, we headed to my tiny kitchen. I rummaged through my cupboards to see what I had. There wasn’t much, but I knew I would have pasta. I always did. Too my surprise and great delight I found two frozen chicken breasts the freezer. Perfect.

“How does chicken and pasta sound?” I asked Nick.

He grinned. “Sounds great. Can I do anything?” He offered.

I set him to work on the pasta while I tended to the chicken. Pretty soon the overwhelming aromas filled my apartment and I think we were trying to keep from drooling all over the floor. I figured Nick hadn’t eaten in awhile either and now that we knew Brian was going to be okay, our stomachs would be unknotted enough to eat.

Just as soon as we sat down to eat, the phone rang. Out of habit I started to get up to answer it. Before I could even get out of my chair all the way, Nick said to leave it. It stopped ringing right before the machine picked up.

“It was probably just be a reporter anyway. Besides, if you abandon your food, I’ll eat it.” His eyes smiled as he gave me a mischievous grin.

“Like hell you would!” I retorted. “I’ll break all your fingers.”

Nick eyes grew wide and he gave me a mock fearful look. That lasted all of two seconds before he busted up. After that we were silent as we wolfed down our food. Even though it was quiet, it was a comfortable silence. Both of our moods had lifted greatly since finding out that Brian came out of surgery okay. We finished our plates and sat there for a minute just thinking. I was watching Nick. He looked dead tired.

“What?” He asked.

“What?” I asked him back.

“You were looking at me funny.” He replied.

“Sorry. You just look exhausted.”

“I am. I could fall asleep just sitting here.” He admitted.

“Well why don’t you crash on the couch. It’s really comfy.” I thought a minute. “Do you want to take a shower first?”

He hesitated. “Well, it sounds good, but...I think I would feel uncomfortable showering in your apartment. I mean, uh...” He stammered.

“Nick, really, I could care less. Actually I do care. You stink. Go shower.” I told him, trying to make him feel more comfortable.

He laughed. “Well, I guess I will take you up on your offer. Who know when I will get the opportunity again anytime soon. Actually I am going to go out to the car first. Kevin made me throw an extra pair of clothes into my bag cause he said he didn’t know when me might get back there. I swear, that man is too sensible.”

I smirked at him. “And ya know what? He was right to so ha!”

“Shut up. Okay, I’ll be right back.”

I sobered up a minute. “What if there are reporters out there? Maybe I should go.” I didn’t want him to get mobbed.

“It wouldn’t be that much better of an idea for you to go either. Sides, ‘mouth’, we don’t need you going off on any more psychopathic reporters!” He pointed out.

I shuddered. That guy still gave me the creeps. “Be careful then!”

As soon as he left the phone rang again. This time the machine clicked on, but the caller hung up before saying anything. Nick was back a moment later.

“I didn’t see anyone.” He informed me.

“Good!”

I gave him a towel and he disappeared inside the bathroom. I went into my bedroom and stood in front of my dresser. My mirror cruelly reflected how bad I really looked. My hair was sticking out all over from under Brian’s hat. My eyes were still red and puffy and I was totally void of any makeup. I felt like I was breathing through a straw so I decided to take care of that while he was still in there.

Twenty minutes after Nick went to shower, he finally emerged. He had changed and looked a hundred and ten times better. His short hair was sticking up all over and he was in sore need of a brush. I whistled at him when he appeared in my doorway. That made him blush which I thought was cute.

“I’m sorry I took so long in there. I sorta lost track of time.” He apologized.

I shrugged. “I don’t care. Well, if you didn’t use up all the hot water I am going to go take one.” I teased. “If you can find the remote you can watch TV or something.”

“Okay.” He went to the living room and I shut myself into the bathroom. It was steamy in there from before so the mirror was all fogged up. I climbed in and turned the water on real hot. It was easy to see why Nick lost track of time because it was so relaxing. I must have stood there, completely still, for at least ten minutes. Usually I preferred cooler water, but this time I readily welcomed the nearly scalding water. It seemed to melt the stress away. The sound of the phone jarred me from my relaxed state. It kept ringing so I assumed that Nick didn’t get it. My mind drifted towards everything that had happened. It was still so unreal to me. I wished Jack were here. I think I could have used the support. The water turned cooler so I reluctantly shut it off and wrapped myself in an oversized towel. I cracked the door open and peered around the corner. Nick wasn’t in view so I dashed across the hall into my room. Once safely inside, I put on a clean pair of jeans and my favorite green sweatshirt from the Gap. I put on a little bit of eye makeup and brushed out my hair. Not only did I look a little more presentable, but I felt a lot better too. Finally I put Brian’s hat back on before going into the living room.

I glanced at my answering machine and the red light was blinking again. I thought about seeing who had called, but figured it was just another reporter. No one important. I went to join Nick in the living room.

The sight before me made me smile. Nick was sprawled over one of the couches. One arm was over his head and the other lay across his chest. One leg was hanging over the back of the couch while his other one was hanging off the side. I had to stifle the laughter that threatened to erupt. I knew I shouldn’t laugh because I have been told that I can get into some pretty strange positions when I am asleep, but I couldn’t help it. He looked so funny. I took the blanket that was on the other couch and draped it over him. Then I dragged my big grey one out of my room and curled up with it on the other couch. I intended on watching some TV for awhile, but my eyes were shut before I hit the pillow.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The trip back to the hospital was a quiet one. It wasn’t uncomfortable though. Something didn’t feel right, but I wrote it off to an overactive imagination.

“Why do you think they never called?” Nick asked, as if reading my mind.

“I don’t know.” I answered honestly. That thought had been running through my mind.

“I hope everything’s okay.” He said softly.

I glanced at him. “It is. They would have called if otherwise.”

He gave me a reassuring smile. “You’re right.” We lapsed back into silence.

The closer we got to the hospital, the more my uneasiness grew. The knot in my stomach was back with a vengeance. Nick pulled into the parking lot and I was nearly doubled over. This was too weird.

“El?” Nick was looking at me strangely.

“Let’s go.” I said hastily.

He nodded, but didn’t say anything about my weird behavior. For some very odd reason no one bothered us when we went into the building. There were people standing around, but they seemed oblivious to us. It was odd considering what we had to go through to get out of here.

“Let’s go to our waiting room and see where they have Bri. He might be in a different room or something.” Nick suggested.

I nodded. When we reached the door and Nick started to push the buttons on the lock, I almost reached up and grabbed his hand. An overwhelming sense of dread hit me and I suddenly wanted to be as far from this room as possible. I contained myself.

He opened it and I heard him suck in his breath. My fears were realized when I saw the scene before me. I immediately started to shake. Kevin was the first one to grab my attention. He was sitting on the couch, his face in his hands, shoulders shaking. Howie sat next to him, rubbing his back. His eyes were wet. AJ was pacing back and forth occasionally taking an angry swipe at the tears that were streaming down his face. When he saw the door open he stopped in his tracks and stared at us.

“Where the hell have you been?!” He demanded. Howie immediately turned and gave him a look.

“What happened? What’s going on?” Nick whispered.

Kevin finally looked up. “He’s gone.” He choked out. His eyes were red-rimmed and swollen. The color seemed to have drained right out of them.

“What do you mean?!” Nick demanded, a tremor in his voice.

“He didn’t make it through the surgery. There were...complications.” Howie said with much difficulty. “They did everything they could, but...”

“What the hell are you are talking about?! He was fine when we left! He wasn‘t even in surgery!” Nick demanded. His voice was reaching the level of panic.

I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. This wasn’t happening. This was not happening. I started to shake. “Why didn’t you call us?” I managed to get out.

AJ whirled around. “Damnit! We called so many times! There was no answer.”

“Wait! What the hell is this?! He was fine when we left.” Nick cried in anguish.

Howie sighed deeply. “He started bleeding internally shortly after you guys left. They took him into surgery, but it was too late. He died on the operating table.” He was crying openly now. “We have been trying to call ever since he went back in.”

“The phone calls we ignored.” I whispered in horror. I suddenly felt sick. This can’t be happening!

“Oh god oh god. Please oh god! No! No! He can’t be dead! He can’t. Oh god.” I looked over to see Nick’s knees buckle. Kevin shot up in a flash and grabbed Nick before he fell. He wrapped his arms around him and held him tight. Nick’s wrenching sobs tore into my very soul. This can’t be happening! But it was.

I sank slowly to the floor and wrapped my arms around my knees. I buried me head and began to cry. The only thing that I kept repeating was, “no please...no.”