[Oops, I thought I had already posted this chapter. No wonder there aren’t any new reviews lol, there’s no new chapter! So here it is and this is the last one that was posted on my webpage. From now on, this is all going to be new stuff. Another thing...I was wondering what kinds of stories y’all like the most and what kinds you don’t think there are enough of. Specifically I mean. Not just “dramas involving *BSB of your choice*” but relatively specific plot lines. If y’all could let me know when you review, that would be awesome. *Muah!*]

“I, uh, guess you can drop me off here.” I leaned forward in the seat, pointing to the convenience store that was just in front of us.

“If you say so... You gonna be okay, miss?” The cabbie asked, the skepticism showing through his voice.

“Fine.” I muttered. “Just peachy.” I gave him a weak smile as I pulled $38 from my pocket. He gave me a nod before he pulled away from the curb. Suddenly feeling very alone, I had to fight the emotions that washed over me. With a heavy sigh I pulled open the door of the Quik-Mart and wandered in. Instead of just being a plain old gas station, there were a few booths over to one side. Cops probably came here late at night for coffee and stale donuts. The thought brought me back to a road trip I had taken a few years back. I’d been pissed at Jack so I jumped in my car and drove halfway across the state. The drive had cleared my mind, but by the time it was getting time to head home, I’d realized I was lost. It was some late hour that I had wandered into a convenience story like this one and there were two cops joking around over coffee and donuts. I was so relieved to find someone that could point me in the right direction, but to my shock and annoyance, they were unbelievably rude. Almost like my situation humored them.

Anyway...

I shoved my hand into my jeans pocket and yanked out the rest of my money. Less than two bucks. How nice. I wandered over to the cappuccino machine and bought the smallest size. The clerk behind the counter gave me a bored look as he rang up my drink. He couldn’t have been any older than I was and was probably pissed that he was working in a boring, run-down convenience store. If only he knew how fast things could change.

“Eighty-five cents.” He stated.

“’So many words...for the broken heart...’”

I froze, my hand outstretched to give him the change. Brian’s voice coming out of the little radio behind the counter. His beautiful voice. My eyes filled with tears. “Oh god, Brian.” I whispered. I dropped the dollar on the counter and ran out of the convenience store, leaving the cappuccino on the counter and the stunned clerk staring after me.

~*~*~*~*~

AJ knocked on Brian’s door before letting himself in. “Brian, how ya feelin?” He said with a grin. He dropped a few magazines on the table and plopped down in the chair that was next to Brian’s bed.

Brian looked at him, an eyebrow raised.

AJ immediately took in the red-rimmed eyes. “Aw, hey man, what’s wrong?”

Brian shook his head. It was more than he had the strength to say.

AJ’s eyes widened. “Oh shit, you had your speech therapy today huh?”

Brian nodded, the look of defeat passing through his eyes again. AJ picked up on that right away, his concern for his friend growing. He hated to see Brian so beaten down. Usually Brian was the one that was so full of faith and hope, always offering words of encouragement to the other guys. Now it seemed like that wonderful strength was slipping away from him.

“Bri, you are one of the strongest people I know. If there is anyone that can do this, I know it’s you, man.” AJ said hoarsely, giving Brian’s shoulder a gentle squeeze.

Brian nodded, appreciating AJ’s attempt to make him feel better, but at this point he felt so low he doubted anything short of a miracle could make everything okay again. He ducked his head, not wanting AJ to see his tears.

AJ’s heart dropped. Feelings of anger and helplessness overwhelmed him and he jumped out of his chair. “Bri, I’m sorry. I-” He stammered before rushing out of the room. He stormed angrily down the hall to the waiting room. With shaking fingers he punched at the silver buttons, but the door buzzed to let him know that he didn’t enter the code correctly. “Dammit!” He hissed, slamming his hand on the door. He tried again, slower this time, the deliberate action only fueling his anger.

Nick and Kevin looked up, mildly surprised to see AJ jerk himself into the room and slam the door shut.

“Aje?” Kevin inquired.

“It’s not fair! Why him of all people huh? God, why?! He doesn’t fucking deserve this shit! Dammit!” AJ raged, pacing back and forth.

“AJ, calm down.” Kevin ordered.

“No I won’t calm down! Brian is barely keeping himself together and there isn’t a damn thing we can do about it! There isn’t a damn thing I can do about it! I can’t bring Leigh to him! I can’t fix his vocal cords. God, I would rip my heart out of my chest and give it to him if it meant he didn’t have to go through this!” AJ voice broke and he sank onto the couch. “It isn’t fair.” He repeated softly, his hands covering his face.

Nick stared at AJ, shocked and dismayed. To see his older brother break down like that was heart-wrenching. AJ almost never showed his emotions like that. Slightly shaken, he glanced at Kevin, unsure of what to do.

“AJ, come on, calm down okay? There is something we can do for him and that’s to stay strong for him.” Kevin said, softly. He sat down next to AJ, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“I shouldn’t have left like I did.” AJ muttered, feeling even worse.

Nick leaned forward, hoping he heard him wrong. “’Left him?’”

“I fuckin ran outta his room.” AJ whispered, ashamed.

“Dammit AJ! What the hell were you thinking?! You’re so worried about him, but you run out of him?!” Nick leapt to his feet, incensed.

“Nick...” Kevin warned, his voice low.

“No, Kevin! You think this is easy for any of us? But to bail out on Bri like that! Shit man.” Nick shook his head disgusted, turning on his heel towards the door.

“Not everyone handles grief the same way, Nick.” Kevin said softly.

“So I’m an asshole! Is that what you want to hear? I couldn’t sit there and watch him hurt when I can’t do a damn thing to make it better for him. This shit should be happening to me, not to Brian. Over the years he has watched me fuck up how many times? And he has always been the good one, the glue that holds us together! How can he look at me and not hate me for it being him instead of me?!” AJ exploded, tears filling his eyes.

Nick stood frozen in the doorway. Kevin shook his head, completely taken aback at raw emotion in AJ’s voice. He had no idea that AJ was carrying around that kind of weight.

“AJ, you know Brian doesn’t think that way.” Kevin said quietly.

“That doesn’t stop me from thinking that way.” AJ shot back darkly, wiping furiously at his eyes.

“Talk to him.” Kevin said.

“Right, and put more on his shoulders. Smart thought there, Kev.” AJ snorted.

“Listen to yourself AJ! Brian would have a fit if he knew you were feeling this way and you know it! He never would blame you or resent you because its him and not you, or any of us for that matter. If you don’t let go of these feelings, you are just going to keep pushing him away.” Kevin reasoned.

Nick looked back and forth between AJ and Kevin. The whole thing had his head spinning and it was starting to give him a headache. More than anything, he just wanted to get back to down to Brian’s room. “I’m going to be with Brian.” He stated quickly before leaving.

AJ sank back onto the couch, drained. “I just want Brian to get better.”

“So do I.” Kevin said softly, concern for his younger brothers and the now-missing Ellie weighing on him like a lead cloak.