We rode up to the fifth floor in silence. When the elevator doors opened we saw Kevin standing there waiting for us.

“He’s in ICU. Howie and Nick are in there with him now. He hasn’t woken up yet.” He told us as we followed him down the hallway. “They are letting us stay in a private room while Brian is here. We figured it is better if we aren’t staying where there are a bunch of other people around. The hospital is trying to keep us being here as quiet as possible. For our sakes, Brian’s sake, and the other patients’ sakes.”
He led us to a room that said “private” on the door. There was a small black box on the door with five silver buttons that ran down the length of it. I remembered those things from past hospital stays. You couldn’t get into the room without the code. Apparently Kevin knew it because he punched the silver buttons and it let us in.

“The code is 4 1 3 5 2. You have to push the buttons in that order or it won’t work. Don’t tell anyone those numbers.” He instructed.

The room looked like it may have been a break room. There were two couches, a table, a small refrigerator, a microwave, some scattered chairs, and a TV. There was a backpack on one of the couches and a black jacket hung over a chair.

“Are you ready to go see him?” Kevin asked us.

AJ nodded, but I was a little unsure. “I don’t want to be horning in on you guys.”
“That is ridiculous, Ellie! You saved his life. I’m sure that he is going to want to see you.” Kevin said, surprised. Then his voice softened. “Of course if going into ICU would be too difficult, I understand.”
I shook my head vigorously. “No, I’ve been there before. Let’s go.” I started heading towards the ICU unit with AJ and Kevin following behind me. I heard Kevin ask AJ, “She’s been in ICU before? What for?” Then I heard AJ say, “I have no idea. Maybe she was in an accident or something.” I pretended not to hear them. We approached the big double doors that led into the ICU unit. I went up and pressed the call button to let us know we were ready to go in. After a few moments the door buzzed at us to let us in.

“What was all that for?” Asked AJ.

“They don’t want people to just come and go whenever they please in the ICU. Plus if there is some sort of emergency going on in there, they don’t want someone to be walking in right at that moment.” I explained as we walked down the hall. The ICU wing of the hospital is set up quite a bit different than the other wings. There is the nurse’s station in the middle of the wing. Then all around it there are the patient’s rooms. Some of them were actual rooms while others were just beds separated by curtains. It depended on the patient’s condition whether they were in a room or out in the open with just a curtain for their privacy. Brian was in one of the rooms at the end of the wing.

The door to his room was all glass, but there was a curtain that at least created a little privacy. Kevin knocked softly on it. After a moment Howie came around the curtain and opened the door as quietly as possible. He stepped out and shut it behind him.

“Is he awake yet?” Asked AJ.

Howie shook his head. “They are hoping he will wake up within the next hour. If he doesn’t…” He trailed off and swallowed thickly. “Nick is taking it really it really hard. Obviously.”
“What do you mean ‘if he doesn’t’?” Demanded AJ sharply. I was too stunned to say anything.

Kevin, who already knew this, put his hand on AJ’s shoulder. “His heart failed him and the ER doctors had a hard time getting his heart beating again. They had to shock him three times and they are afraid it put much stress on his already too weak heart. If he wakes up, they are going to schedule the surgery tomorrow morning. They don’t think…” He stopped and took a deep breath before continuing. “He needs to have the surgery as soon as possible or he is going to die.” He said flatly. He was blinking his eyes really fast and it looked like he was trying to compose himself.

AJ turned white and started shaking his head.

“Noooo.” Was all I could say. Brian couldn’t die. He couldn’t.

“Does Nick know thins?” Asked AJ suddenly.

Howie nodded. “He has been crying about it ever since. There isn’t anything I can do to console him.”
We stood out in the hall for another few minutes trying to compose ourselves. Finally Kevin opened the door and we all followed him in. The room was very small so we were pretty cramped. At first all I saw were the machines. One to monitor his heart, another to monitor his blood pressure, another for his saturation’s. The steady beep of the heart monitor was comforting. As long as I heard that beep, he was breathing. Finally I looked at Brian. I was relieved to see that he wasn’t on a respirator. The fact that he was breathing on his own was encouraging. He was, however, wearing an oxygen mask that covered his nose and mouth. He was very pale and he looked so small compared to the machines that towered above his bed. Nick was sitting in a chair next to his bed. He had one of Brian’s hands in his own and he was crying. He looked awful and my heart went out to him. His eyes were red and puffy and he had a look in his eyes that I will never be able to forget. Howie walked over to the side of the bed that Nick was on and stood behind Nick. He rested his hand on Nick’s shoulder, which only made Nick cry harder. I glanced at AJ and he, too, looked like he was struggling. He clenched his jaw shut and stared straight forward. Kevin sat down in a chair at the end of Brian’s bed. I just stood there, watching all of them. Taking all of it in. I don’t think I had ever seen five people that were closer. I knew that if given the chance, any one of those guys would have lied down in that bed for Brian.

After sitting in Brian’s room like that for about a half an hour, Brian began to stir. First he moaned softly. We all held our breaths in anticipation. Finally Nick spoke.

“Hey, buddy. Open your eyes. We’re all here for you. Please open your eyes.” He said softly.

Brian moaned again and slowly opened his eyes. He blinked a few times trying to clear his vision. “Where am I?” He whispered very softly.

Nick’s eyes filled with new tears, only this time they were tears of relief. He leaned closer to Brian. “You’re in the hospital, Bri. Your heart quit working on ya. Do you remember anything?”
Brian closed his eyes for a minute. “I don’t know.” He made a face.

Kevin stood up quickly. “Brian? What it is?”
Brian opened his eyes again and shifted them towards Kevin. “Nothing.” He said quickly. He tried to clear his throat. “I remember I was in a restaurant and I was having a really hard time breathing.” He stopped and shut his eyes. Almost immediately the flew open again. “Oh my gosh! Ellie!” He tried to cry out.

I stepped over to the side of the bed on the opposite side of Nick. I took his other hand. “I’m here Brian.”
“She’s been here ever since she brought you in here, Rok.” Spoke up AJ.

Brian looked relieved and upset at the same time. “I was afraid you’d left.” He said to me.

“Bri, I told you I would be here for you and I meant it. I’ll be here as long as you need me to be. Besides, I couldn’t have left without knowing you were going to be okay.”
“I’m sorry I dragged you into this.” He whispered.

I shook my head. “Don’t be sorry. I’m just glad I was there to help.”
“Me too.” He agreed with a small smile. He shifted his gaze to the rest of the guys. “So, how long before I am outta here?” he asked.

Kevin exchanged glances with Howie and AJ looked at the floor. Nick squeezed Brian’s hand. He took all of this in and looked at us nervously.

“What? What’s going on?” He demanded. He was looking at Kevin now, their unofficial leader, for answers.

Kevin looked pained to have to say this. “Brian, when your heart stopped, they had to shock you three times to get your heart beating again.” He stopped and watched for Brian’s reaction.

Brian’s eyes grew wide and he seems to turn more pale, if that was even possible. He noticed Kevin’s hesitancy and said weakly, “go on.”
“That put too much stress on your heart so they want to operate on it sooner than they had expected.” Continued Kevin.

“How soon?” Whispered Brian.

“They have the surgery scheduled for early tomorrow morning.” Kevin said with a sigh. He hated having to be the one to break this to Brian.

Brian nodded slowly. “Um, can I be by myself for a little while?” He asked shakily.

Nick looked worried. “Hey buddy, don’t push us away. We’re all here for you. We want to help.” He said gently.

“I’m not. I promise. I just need a few minutes.” His voice cracked a little. He looked like he was trying to hold back tears.

“Bri, I don’t know if that is a good idea right now.” Kevin said with concern.

“Please!” He begged desperately. I think we all knew that he was on the verge of breaking down and he didn’t want us to see.

Finally Kevin relented. “Okay, Brian. We’ll be in the waiting room. Have a nurse find us if you need anything. We’re here for you, cuz.” He got up to leave, followed by AJ. Howie guided Nick out after them. I gave his hand a squeeze, leaned down, and whispered to him “I know it is hard to always be strong so let us be strong for you.”
He nodded, choking back the sobs that were threatening to consume him. I walked out of the room and shut the door behind me. I was reluctant to leave him, but I had to follow his wishes. I could barely hear the muffled cries coming from inside the room. My own eyes filled with tears. The guys were waiting for me by the ICU entrance. I hastily wiped away my tears and joined them. As soon as we got out of the ICU, Nick started to cry.

“Why did he do that? Why is he pushing us away?” He said angrily.

“Nick, don’t take it personally.” AJ said shortly, although I could tell he was upset too.

“He’s trying to be strong for us. I don’t think he wanted us to see him break down.” I said quietly.

Howie nodded, agreeing with me. “Of course she’s right,” he said, gesturing at me. “You know he isn’t one to want people to worry about him or feel sorry for him. I think the best thing to do is to let him know we are there for him, but not to push him. He’ll come around.”
Everyone nodded reluctantly. We all headed for our waiting room without saying anything more. I sat down on one of the couches and Nick sat down next to me. Kevin and Howie sat down on the other one. AJ flipped on the TV before settling into one of the chairs. He rested his elbows on the table and put his chin in his hands. None of us paid any attention to the TV, but at least it wasn’t dead silent in there. It was so tense in the room that I had to say something.

“You know, I have always wanted to meet you guys, but this isn’t how I expected it to be.” I said wryly.

That brought a few smiles.

“Speaking of which, how did you and Brian meet? I know you mentioned a coffee shop, but what exactly happened?” Asked Howie.

I smiled, thinking about that morning. “I rescued him from some girls that looked ready to pounce on him. He was sitting in the corner trying to hide behind a newspaper. For some reason I thought he seemed familiar so I was looking at him. He lowered his paper and I got a better view of him. It hit me right away who he was and I guess it was obvious from the look on my face. He held up a finger to keep me from exposing him and I just sort of stared at him. Then two girls came in and they recognized him too. They about went ballistic and he got this ‘oh crap’ look on his face. I immediately ran over to him and pretended he was a long lost friend from CA. It worked and the girls left us alone.” I was laughing now and the guys were laughing with me.

“I ended up sitting down with him and we talked for several hours. Man, we must have talked about everything under the sun. What it was like to be a BSB, basketball, what I am majoring in, Leighanne, my boyfriend...”
“You have a boyfriend?!” Blurted Nick with obvious surprise.

“Yeah, why?” I looked at him funny.

“I though you had a thing for Brian.” Replied Nick.

I had to laugh. “Nope. I’m promised to a guy I love more than anything and Brian is so head-over-heels in love with Leighanne. It is adorable the way he talks about her. What made you think that?” I asked him incredulously.

Nick looked sort of sheepish. “I don’t know. I guess since you seem to care so much about him and you guys just met today.”
I nodded, understanding now. “Well, I’ve always admired him. Meeting him today and getting to know him only increased my respect for him. We clicked so well. We share a common bond that makes me feel close to him.” I paused then added, “despite the fact that we only met today.”
Howie was starting to ask me what common bond we shared when we were interrupted by the TV.

“Breaking News! Brian Littrell, of the famous singing group, the Backstreet Boys, is rumored to have suffered a heart attack. He was seen at an area Denny’s with this girl...” The screen flashed a picture of me helping Brian out of the restaurant. My mouth dropped and I jumped to my feet. Brian’s head was down and it looked like he could have fallen at any moment. You could see the fear in my face as plain as day. “...It was reported that the couple...” Couple?!?! “...was eating a late lunch when Littrell started experiencing signs of a heart attack. The mysterious girl reportedly took him to the hospital. No news yet on which hospital or Littrell’s condition. Stay tuned for updates!”
I exploded. “What?! Where the hell did they get that picture?! Who would have had a camera and would have had the nerve to take pictures of us?! No one helped us, but they took pictures! He could have died and they took pictures!!” I yelled angrily.

AJ was at my side in a flash. He took my shoulders and spun me around. “Ellie, look at me. Look at me!” I reluctantly looked at him. He looked me straight in the eye and spoke seriously. “It won’t do any good to get angry. It won’t change what happened. You just have to accept that some people are like that. We all know what could have happened and we thank God that it didn’t so let’s not dwell on it.” The others were nodding with AJ.

I set my jaw. I knew his words made sense, but I was still seething. Finally I sat back down and leaned my head up against the back of the couch, shutting my eyes. I was starting to get a headache. “I’m sorry for reacting like that.” I said finally.

“It’s okay.” Howie said. “We’ve all been down that road before.”
Nick chuckled. “Yeah, Mr. AJ trying to be all calm here! You should have seen him go off on some of the things they have said about us.”
AJ gave Nick a dirty look. “If I recall right, Mr. Nickolas, you had a few tantrums yourself.”
Nick only stuck his tongue out at AJ.

“People just don’t always realize what they say. Some of the things we read or hear that people say about us are like a punch in the gut. But that is reality. You have to learn not to let it knock you down. Of course that makes me angry!” Kevin said, nodding at the TV. “It infuriates me, but like AJ said, we can’t do anything about it so why waste all that energy getting worked up about it?”
I was amazed with their maturity. The more I spent time with them, the more I respected them. We were all quiet for a little longer, lost in our own thoughts. I was thinking about the events that had transpired today when a knock on the door startled me. Nick hollered “Come in!” and a young nurse poked her head in the door.

She looked a little star struck as she gazed at them. Her eyes fell on me and then went back to the Boys. “Um, Mr. Littrell is feeling a little better. He is asking for you guys.” She gave them a quick smile and left.

We all looked at each other and I think we all were hoping the same thing: That Brian really was doing better and was ready to let us help him like we all knew he needed us to do.