Fall From Grace

Fall From Grace
Ch. 13
by: Tina and Danielle
rated: R & (c) by us

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Nick struggled to get fully awake. He was feeling drugged. His eyelids
felt as heavy as a ton of bricks. His mouth felt like he had cotton in it.

He was finally able to get his eyes open and keep them open. He stared at
the ceiling and then he turned his head to the right and looked. He then
turned his head to the left and looked. He realized he was upstairs in the
his bedroom - his and Kevin's bedroom.

He didn't really remember how he got up to the bedroom. The last thing he
remembered was being downstairs and he'd been so angry and so scared. But
most of all he'd been alone. Nick remembered trashing the room - the yells
and the screams. The desperate attempt to get all the anger and fear out of
his system. Then suddenly Kevin was there at his side. That's all he could
remember. Kevin had left him alone but then came back.

Nick struggled to sit up and that's when he saw Kevin laying across the foot
of the bed asleep, Max curled up at his side.

"Kev?" Nick cringed with how weak and hoarse his voice sounded. He
cleared his throat and tried again, "Kevin?!" He allowed himself a small
smile. That sounded much better.

Kevin jerked awake and he said, "Hey there. You're awake. How do you
feel?"

"I feel like I've been drugged."

"You were."

Nick cocked an eyebrow and looked at him curiously. Kevin asked, "You don't
remember?"

Nick shook his head and said, "No. I remember I wrecked downstairs. You
weren't there but then you were. I just woke up a minute ago and here we
are in our room. I don't remember how we got here."

Kevin scooted up on the bed until he was sitting on his knees facing Nick.
He took both of Nick's hands into his own and brought them up to his lips
and gently kissed them both. He then held Nick's hands in his lap as he
said, "You were so out of it, Nick. It scared me to death. I called Dr.
Sullivan and he came back over. He gave you a sedative to calm you down.
You've slept all night."

Nick looked at his watch and saw it was nearly 8 in the morning. "Man, that
must have been one hell of a sedative. I still feel half asleep."

"Yeah, it was a strong one but you needed your rest, Nick. Other than
feeling dopey still, how do you feel?"

Nick shrugged his shoulders and said, "I don't know. How am I suppose to
feel? My whole world has beent urned upside down. The man I love more than
life itself is dying and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. This
is crazy. I know everybody has to go through their share of bad times.
That's just a part of life. But god damn haven't we gone a bit over board
in our share of bad times. If somebody is trying to give me a fuckin'
nervous breakdown they are well on their way to succeeding. Why is this
happening? Why, Kevin, why?!"

Nick began to cry. Kevin pulled the young blond into his arms and held him
tightly as they both cried. Nick kept asking "why" over and over.

Kevin said, "I don't know why, Nick. I have been asking that myself. I
don't know who I'm asking it too or who is suppose to answer. I've always
tried to do the right thing. I believed in God. I went to Church. I said
my prayers before going to bed. Is this my punishment for all the times
I've swore, taking the Lord's name in vain? Is this my punishment for
having sex before marriage? Is this my punishment because I quit going to
church every Sunday? Is this my punishment for loving you and being with
you?"

Nick reached up and gently tried to wipe the tears from Kevin's cheeks.
He'd been so selfish. He'd been so wraped up in his own pain that he had
crumpled from the weight of it like a weakling. Kevin needed him now more
than ever and he hadn't been there for him. But he was going to be there
for him now. Kevin could depend on him. He'd never let Kevin down again.

"Kevy, don't cry. I don't know why this is happening. I don't know why
someone seems so angry at you. You have always been the best son, brother,
friend, daddy, and husband you could be. If the world was full of more
people like you, then it would be a more kinder, gentler place to live. We
wouldn't have violence. We wouldn't have hate. We wouldn't have wars."

"Nick, you have to be strong for Dylan and the new baby. You have to make
sure you are there for them. Always. I know the pain of losing a father.
I can't bear the thought of them hurting the way I always hurt. I don't
want Dylan to ever forget me and I want the new baby to know me but Nick,
promise me you'll do everything in your power to make sure they don't grieve
for me and let it take over their lives like I did with my grief for my
father."

"I promise, Kev. I promise. But Kevin, what if I have AIDS too?"

Kevin cupped Nick's face in his hands and he presed his forehead against
Nick's. "No, you're not going to have AIDS. It's not going to happen.
That would be too cruel to those kids to have both of their fathers taken
away from them. It's not gonna happen. Nick, I'm depending on you to be
here and raise them for me. You can't let me down!"

"I promise, Kevin. I'll be here. I won't let you down."

The two lovers lay in the bed, entwined in each other's arms as the minutes
and hours ticked by. Their tears dried. Kevin stroked Nick's back and Nick
stroked his stomach. They lay quietly. Only the occasionaly word was
spoken between them. They seemed to take comfort in listening to each other
breathe.

'Cause I can feel you breathe,
it's washin' over me
And suddenly I'm meltin' into you
There's nothing left to prove,
baby all we need is just to be
Caught up in the touch,
the slow and steady rush
And baby,
isn't that the way that love's supposed to be
I can feel you breathe
Just breathe

The shrill ring of the phone piercing the quiet of the room caused them both
to jump. Nick sat up and Kevin leaned over and picked the telephone up.

Nick didn't really pay attention to Kevin's conversation with whoever was on
the phone. Kevin kept saying "yeah" or "uh-huh". Finally he said, "Ok,
we'll be there in an hour," and he hung up.

That last statement got Nick's attention and he asked, "Who was that?"

Kevin looked back at him and said, "That was Dr. Sullivan. While he was
here last night he took a blood sample from you for your AIDS test. He put
a rush on it. He's got the results. We need to go in and talk to him.
Find out about you and decide about me."

Nick closed his eyes and said to himself, "Whatever greater power there
might be out there who will listen to this, just give me the strength to get
through this. Please help us both."

Kevin went and took a shower. While he was in the shower Nick made a couple
of phone calls. When Nick took his turn in the shower Kevin made a phone
call of his own.

An hour later they were at Dr. Sullivan's office sitting in front of his
desk. A moment later the doctor came rushing in, offering his apologies for
not being there to greet them when they came in.

Kevin said, "That's alright. So, what's the verdict? Just tell us."

Dr. Sullivan looked at them both and said, "Nick, you don't have AIDS."

TBC...