Note: This is Tina's last chapter contributed to this story, from this point on I will be writing it alone. ~Danielle.



Fall From Grace
Ch. 16 (??)
by:  Tina and Danielle
rated:  R & (c) by us

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Time seemed to be rushing by now.  Nick hated it.  So
did Kevin.  They both wanted time to slow down so that
they could savor every remaining second, minute, and
hour they had together. 

Kevin wanted to give Nick enough memories to last him
a lifetime.  Kevin wanted the memories to take with
him as well.  He knew the memories of Nick's smile,
the love in Nick's touch would be what allowed him to
rest in peace when he was finally gone.

Nick now appreciated the little things he had never
gave a second glance to before.  The greeness of the
grass. The blueness of the sky.  The puffiness of the
clouds.  The whitness of the sand.  The coolness of
the ocean.  Things would not be the same once Kevin
was gone.  The colors would not be as bright.  The air
would not be as warm.  The ocean would not be as
calming without Kevin there at his side.

Kevin and Nick took long walks on the beach together.
Sometimes they'd sit at the water's edge and hold one
another.  They made trips to the cave many, many
times. Many sunsets and many sunrises were watched
from the entrance of the cave. 

Sometimes they talked over one another there was so
much to say and so little time to say it.  Those times
left them both a bit breathless as they struggled to
get everything out before it was too late.

Other times there was nothing to say.  The way Kevin
squeezed Nick's hand, the way Nick softly kissed
Kevin's lips said all that needed to be said during
those moments.

Kevin's brothers came.  They hugged and cried.  Nick's
family came.  More tears. Kevin picked up the phone a
thousand times to call his mother but he couldn't do
it.  She had made it clear that as far as she was
concerned he was already dead.  But still he thought
about her.  She had been the one to give him life.  It
only seemed *fitting* that she would be there when his
life came to an end.

Brian, Howie, and AJ were still stunned beyond belief.
Brian spent a lot of time sitting in the quiet comfort
of his den reading the Bible and trying to come to
terms with his emotions.  God had played around with
him and Kevin so much.  Him with his infection and his
heart problems.  Kevin with all that crap with
Stefaine.  Brian figured now God was tired of playing
around. That's why he was calling Kevin home.

Howie and AJ just coped the best they could.  Many
nights Howie would be lying awake in bed thinking when
his phone would ring.  It would be AJ.  He couldn't
sleep as well and the two best friends would talk into
the wee morning hours, laughing at the good times they
shared and shedding tears over the bad times.

Their families and closest friends were informed of
what was going on. Their management was told.  There
was a decision to be made.  What would happen to the
Backstreet Boys?  The management team wanted them to
take a hiatus for now but to go on later without Kevin
still as the Backstreet Boys.

It was an easy decision as far as Nick was concerned.
There was no Backstreet Boys without Kevin.  They had
all reached a level of sucess as a group and that
sucess had opened up the fans and critics eyes to the
individual talent that each one of them possessed.
Each one of them could go on solo and have just as
much sucess if not more as they had as a group.

Nick wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to get on a
stage and sing again without Kevin being there.  Kevin
made Nick promise that he would sing again.  "Every
note you sing babe, sing it knowing how much I love
you," Kevin told him.  All Nick could do was cry and
nod his head that he would.

Management planned a press conference.  It was only
going to be told that Kevin had cancer and the band
was going on hiatus so that Kevin could recover.  As
much as Kevin loved their fans he didn't want them to
know the truth until it was over with.  Some fans were
pretty persistant and would figure out where him and
Nick lived.  If they said he was dying, fans would be
on their front porch ringing the door bell day and
night. 

The AIDS would remain all of their secret.  Kevin
could only imagine how the press would slander him if
it came out he had AIDS.  He wouldn't be there to deal
with it but Nick and the others would. That wouldn't
be fair to them to have to deal with all the cruel,
harsh words on top of having to deal with him not
being there.

Sam and Melinda coped.  They made plans for the
babies. They were the ones who told Dylan about his
dad.  He said he understood but he was a baby.
Children understood things with such an innocense
about them.  He didn't cry but he was quiet for a few
days.  He spent his time in his room drawing.
Whenever his mothers would come into the room, he'd
stash whatever he was working on underneath his bed.

Sam and Melinda wondered what it was he was so
intently working on but they didn't ask him.  Children
might have been innocent but they were also more
smarter than adults gave them credit for.  They
realized Dylan was coping with the fact that his daddy
was dying in his own way.  When he was ready to reach
out to them he would.

He woke them up early one Saturday morning and said,
"Can we please go see daddy this morning?  Please.  I
need to give him something."

Mel and Sam looked at each other and Melinda said,
"Sure sweetie.  Let's get dressed and we'll stop and
take daddy some breakfast ok?"

Dylan grinned, "Okay," and ran out of the room.  He
came back in a few mintues later and asked Sam if she
had a big envelope that he could put daddy's present
in. 

Sam went down to the den and found a big manilla clasp
envelope and gave it to Dylan.  "Thanks momma," he
squealed as he ran out and headed towards his room.

Melinda called Nick and told them that they were
coming over.  This would be the first time that Kevin
and Dylan had saw one another since finding out that
Kevin was dying.

Whatever it was that Dylan had made and put in the
envelope, he was guarding it for dear life.  He had a
death grip on it in his tiny little hands.

Nick was waiting on the porch when they got there.
Dylan came running to him and Nick scopped him up in
his arms and gave him a big hug and a lots of big
sloppy kisses all over his cute little face.

Max came barking and running to the door once he heard
Dylan's voice.  Dylan petted and hugged on his beloved
pet for a few moments. 

Nick whispered to Sam, "What's in the envelope?"

She shrugged her shoulders and said, "I don't know.
It's something he's been working on for Kevin."

Dylan followed Max inside.  The others following close
behind as well.  Kevin was stretched out on the sofa.
Max jumped up on the sofa and lay down against Kevin.


"Daddy!!," Dylan squealed as he ran towards Kevin.
Kevin opened his arms up and scooped his son up and
hugged him close.

"Hey buddy, I've missed you man.  I swear you've grown
two inches since I last saw you.  Are you eating an
extra bowl of Cheerios every morning to grow so much?"

Dylan giggled and he held an arm up, making a muscle
for his daddy to see.  Kevin gave it a firm squeeze
and said, "Whoa, dude, you got some serious muscles
going on there.  I think you're gonna be a wrestler
when you grow up."

Dylan eagerly nodded his head and said, "Yep.  I'm
gonna be a big bad wrestler and beat Hulk Hogan up."

The two kidded around for a bit and then Dylan shoved
the envelope against Kevin's chest and said, "This is
for you, daddy.  I made it all by myself."

Kevin opened up the envelope and carefully slid the
piece of yellow construction paper out.  His eyes
widened as he stared at it and tears pooled in his
eyes.

"Do you like it, Daddy?"

Kevin thought he was going to choke on the lump in his
throat.  He nodded his head and said, "I love it,
son." Nick came up behind Kevin and took the picture
from him.  Nick's own eyes pooled with tears.  He
showed it to Melinda and Sam.  Melinda quietly began
to cry as Sam had to bit on her fist to keep from
sobbing.

It was a picture of Kevin as an angel.  He had his
halo and wings.  He was holding a microphone in  his
hands singing to a group of small children who were
also angels, complete with their halos and wings.

Dylan said, "I figured there are a lot of little kids
like me in heaven without mamas and daddys and since
you can't stay here and be my daddy, you can be a
daddy to all of them."

Sam got up and ran out of the room sobbing.  Nick
walked over to the fireplace and lay his head against
the mantle as he cried.  Melinda didn't move from her
seat but hung her head and cried.

Kevin pulled Dylan back into his arms and held the
little boy as he cried.

TBC.............

*sniff*