Fall From Grace

Chapter 27

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh."

"Mmmm-hmmm."

"That's..damn!"

"Deep breath."

"Okay." The sound of his inhale was cut off by his breath catching as he cleared his throat to rid it of the tickle that had started. It became obvious he was trying not to cough.

Sullivan clucked his tongue softly, "Hmmm." He removed the stethoscope and looped it again around his neck, before writing something in the chart sitting on the examination table.

"What do you mean hmmm? Is that a good or bad sound?"

Sullivan picked up another scope and peered inside his ears, "Just a hmmm."

A sigh reverberated on the walls of the office as he jerked his head away a little before Sullivan held him steady, "Do you refrigerate this stuff before I come? 'Cause you always seem to have it just frosty every time."

Sullivan chuckled, "Nope, I just do it special for you, Nick." His hands felt over the sides of Nick's throat before making one last notation in the chart. "Did you come by yourself?"

Nick nodded, "Yeah, Kevin's at home with Brian, napping."

Sullivan nodded and handed Nick back his shirt, "How is he doing today?"

Nick slipped on his shirt and slipped down from the table, sitting across from the doctor, "Well, it's taking a toll on him. You can tell. The breakthrough pain is coming more often. Half the time he won't let me give him the shot to make it go away. He's worried about getting addicted."

Sullivan nodded, "It is a valid concern, Nick. It's not tylenol we're dealing with here. This is morphine, it's the big guns."

Nick nodded, "I know. God, Sully. They are so bad. I've never seen anything so horrible. How can he not want to take it?"

The doctor sighed, "Maybe because he knows that you have a limited time to be together, he wants to not be in a drugged fog any more than he absolutely has to."

Nick sighed and ran his hands through his hair, tugging it a little in frustration. "I hate this, Sully. I really hate this."

Dr. Sullivan nodded, "I know, Nick. And I'm about to make it worse."

Nick raised his head to meet Sullivan's eyes, "I'm sick aren't I?"

Sullivan nodded, "You've got a cold, Nick. With Kevin's immune system as weak as it is, I can't let you go back there. It would be inviting him to get pneumonia and his counts are too low right now to put up any resistance. I'm sorry, Nick, but I'm quarantining you. I can't let you go back to that house."

It was a good thing that Nick was sitting, or he would have ended up on the floor. "Oh god. Who is going to take care of Kevin? Where am I supposed to go? I can't just leave him. I CAN'T DO THAT TO HIM! He needs me! I won't!" He jumped up from the chair, not even knowing what he was doing, agitated thoughts ricocheting around in his head too fast to grab onto.

Sullivan watched Nick pace back and forth in the small room. "Nick, you have no choice. If you go back there, you are going to be giving Kevin more than your love, you are going to be giving him your cold and the way he is right now, he's going to get very sick. If I quarantine you this week, who knows how many more we're going to add on to his time. Nick, you know if there was any other way, I wouldn't do this. You know that."

Nick fell into the chair, the look on his face breaking Sullivan's heart. "I know. I just….I have no control in my life anymore. I miss being happy and oblivious. I just want to be happy with Kevin and live our lives, is that too much to ask?"

Sullivan put an arm around Nick's shoulders, "It shouldn't be Nick. But right now, it is. And I wish to God I knew what to do to make it that way for you."

Nick nodded, "I'll get AJ to go grab some clothes for me. A week right? I'm sure the freak will let me stay in the House of Hideous." He managed to pull of a half-hearted smile, "Lemme call him."

When he hung up the phone with AJ, he dialed home. The second Kevin's voice came over the line, Nick's throat closed up. He couldn’t make a sound. It was just as well, he thought, the only sound that would come out would be a frustrated yell at this point. Instead all that left his lips was whimper as he choked down the lump in his throat. He handed the phone to Sullivan, hearing Kevin calling his name before he walked away from the sound, his shoulders tensed so hard they hurt. "I will not break down. I will not break down."

He stared hard at a medical diagram of a fetus on the wall, thinking about his children growing in Sam at this moment. He couldn't go around her right now either. If she got the cold, she wouldn't be able to take anything for it. He sighed and leaned his warm forehead on the coolness of the wall, half listening as Sullivan explained the situation and asked Kevin to pack for Nick to be away for week.

It didn't even seem like he was there in the room anymore. Hell, he didn't even feel like he was on the earth at this point. In a half-hour he had become and infectious danger to everyone he cared about.

He had never felt more alone in all his life.

TBC…