Fall From Grace
Chapter 43
By Danielle
Nick sat on the couch of the suite with three duffel bags piled beside him, tapping his foot impatiently, "Come ON!! We're going to be LATE!!"
Brian skidded in from the hallway, dropping his bag with the other three, "Ok, I'm packed." He held his hands out at his sides, "How do I look? Ok for wherever we're going?"
Nick surveyed Brian's suit and nodded, "You'll do." He motioned to the chair and leaned his head back, taking a deep breath. "How-WARD! NOW!"
A second later, he appeared, dropping his bag with the others and finishing his phone call. Folding his phone and placing it in his pants pocket, he brushed some lint from his sweater and looking down at Nick's upturned face over the back of the couch, "You bellowed?"
Nick got to his feet and huffed, "I did. We're going to be late." He grabbed Brian on the way by and snapped an envelope up from the desk, "Let's go!"
Howie followed them down the hallway; "I didn't know what to wear. You won't tell us where we're going. 'Dress nice' has a lot of different interpretations."
They stepped into the elevator as Brian scrunched up his face, "HEY!"
Nick and Howie both turned to face him. Nick gave him one of his 'and they call me the crazy one' looks, "What Rok?"
And indignant look on his face, Brian motioned with his hand at Nick and Howie, "You said TIES. You told me we had to wear ties. I hate ties! And now you two aren't even wearing them!"
Nick smirked as he looked up to see what floor they were passing, "There's a good reason for that, Rok."
Brian stared at Nick and waited for him to elaborate.
The elevator dinged and the doors slid open noiselessly, Nick walking out ahead of them. "You're the only one gullible enough to believe me."
Ignoring Howie's not even stifled laughter behind him; Brian glared at the back of Nick's head, already halfway across the lobby. "You SUCK, Carter."
Stopping mid-stride, Nick turned slowly to face Brian and his tongue darted out to lick at each corner of his mouth, before he smacked his lips together and a shit-eating grin slid over his face. Turning around again, he continued on his path to the door.
Elbowing the still laughing Howie in the gut, he shuddered. "Shut up!"
Snorting, Howie slung an arm around Brian's shoulders, "Amazing how he can turn an insult like that around and shoot it back to you without a word, huh?"
Heaving a long-suffering sigh, Brian rolled his eyes to Howie, "If only he'd use his powers for good."
Chuckling, Howie led them both into sedan Nick was waiting in.
Even though they wheedled and badgered the whole time, Nick would not tell them where they were going. The only thing he would say is that they would enjoy it and that Kevin and Alex were out by themselves and wouldn't be joining them. When they were less than a block from the theater, Nick handed them each a ticket and sat back to wait for the whining.
5…4…3…2…1
"What? Hamlet?! We're going to see Shakespeare?!"
The look on Brian's face was so priceless; Nick was having a very hard time not laughing. "Yes Brian, Shakespeare."
Howie looked at him carefully, "What's going on? You wouldn't drag us to Shakespeare just because. Kevin, maybe, but not you."
Nick smirked as the car glided to a stop; "Someone has to culture up you two heathens."
Judging from the noises coming from inside the car, getting out as he had said that comment had been a good idea. He knew he would have ended up with one, if not two, smacks upside the head for it. Instead, he just got glares from the two of them as they caught up to him holding the door for two women entering the theater. They entered the lobby as the lights flickered to signal the one minute mark before the curtain rose. Nick grabbed programs for the three of them, being careful to take out the insert stating who the two guest performers were.
Nick looked at the two men on either side of him and had to bite his lip to keep from laughing out loud. He saw Howie tapping a rhythm on his pants pocket and poked him in the side. "Turn the phone off, Howard. They shoot people for those going off in the middle of a performance."
The dejected look on Howie’s face confirmed that the finger tapping was a sort of prayer to the cell phone gods that it would ring and he could retreat outside to take the call and conveniently not return until the lights went up for intermission. Sighing, he removed the phone and turned it off, grumbling when Nick held out his hand to take possession of it.
After Howie handed over his toy, Nick leaned over to Brian and stuck his hand in the front pocket of the older man’s suit, pulling out another cell phone and pushing the power button. Snickering, he held slipped them both into his pockets as the house lights went down on his two pouting friends.
Alex was nervous, pacing back and forth in the tiny dressing room that he and Kevin shared. It felt odd, even the dressing room felt odd. It was about the size of the bathroom of their normal dressing rooms. But from speaking to the other cast members they had rehearsed with for the past three days, they were lucky to get a dressing room at all and not the communal rooms the rest of the swing players and alternates shared.
He felt naked. He had all the earrings and rings off, covered from wig to boots in his costume, but he had never felt more naked than he did at this moment. His sunglasses were still on, because he refused to take them off until the last possible minute. He needed some sort of security blanket to hold onto.
It had been so long since he’d been someone else other than AJ McLean, Backstreet Boy. He got to be Alex so rarely that he was afraid of getting lost somewhere if he took on more characters. But that wouldn’t be happening unless he got through this gig without throwing up. He swallowed hard and forced himself to calm down. He was already thinking as if he’d made up his mind on wanting to get back into this. He shook his head and scolded himself internally, 'Getting through the performance first would be a good idea."
He felt Kevin’s eyes on him, watching him pace back and forth. But he had to move, be doing something. He was never one for sitting still and being all silent and thoughtful like Kevin. He’d implode. He saw the playbill sitting on the edge of the makeup table and smiled when he thought of his name being in it. Alexander James McLean. God, did he even know who that was any more?
The talk that had taken place on the balcony of the hotel had opened his eyes to a lot of things. The parts inside of him that other people noticed. The ones that he had no idea were there. He’d done a lot of thinking about everything and though it hadn’t been said out loud, they all knew that the TRL appearance was the last thing they had scheduled as the Backstreet Boys. Now what?
Brian had Leighanne, a wedding to plan and the rest of their lives together. Howie had the Dorough Lupus Foundation and his burgeoning real estate interests around Orlando. Nick had Kevin for a little while still, and Dylan and the two little ones that Sam was carrying. Nick was going to be a single dad of three. Christ, that still didn’t seem possible that Nick could be a father to anyone. Yet, he was better at it than any of them gave him credit for. And then there was him.
What did he have to go to? An empty house. A girlfriend that he just couldn’t say goodbye to once and for all, even though they both knew there was nothing to hang onto. He could always tour as Johnny No Name. But that was just another mask, another role. He knew that was the last thing he needed. He needed to figure out who the hell he was.
So he’d decided. If he liked it up there on the stage tonight, then yes, he would give acting a try. But not until he’d spent some time being Alex and getting Alex a life.
Kevin watched Alex pacing in the tiny dressing room and he knew he was doing more than going over lines. Ever since that night of their talk on the balcony, he knew that Alex had been wading through some heavy stuff. They all had been. It hadn’t been said, not right out there, hanging between them, but they all had felt the end of the Backstreet Boys. Only they were all avoiding saying the actual words. As long as all five of them were there, alive, then they could trick themselves into believing that it wasn’t over. Kevin wasn’t worried for himself, in fact, he did very little of that given the situation. He was more worried about the other four. If someone didn’t say it, acknowledge it, when he was gone reality was going to be twice as harsh.
They both looked up when a knock sounded at their door. A glance at the clock showed that the curtain had gone up and they’d missed it. Now it was their five-minute call to get into position in the wings.
Meeting eyes, they stood up and Kevin smiled a little, "Break a leg, Alex."
Nodding and swallowing loudly again, Alex gave Kevin a shaky smile. "I’d be happy to, if I don’t throw up first."
Laughing, Kevin took the sunglasses off of Alex’s nose, "Not quite 15th Century." He folded them and put them with Alex’s other jewelry. "You'll be fine, Alex. It's just another night on another stage."
Shaking his head, Alex tugged on the cuffs of his costume shirt, "It ain't. I'm not AJ on this stage. I'm someone else and if I screw up as someone else, they're going to know it. If I screw up as AJ it's just AJ being AJ."
Kevin shook his head, "And if you screw up as Alex being Rosencrantz, we'll love you anyway. So no pressure. We'll just pretend we don't know you, in the most loving of ways, of course."
Swatting Kevin on the arm and hauling him to the door he sent the older man a death glare. "Oh, of course. Buttmunch."
Nick was surprised at Howie and Brian. They were actually into the play. It was a miracle, of that he was sure. He’d expected them both to lean over at least once by this point and tell him he was going to pay dearly for dragging them to this. But not a peep so far. He leaned over and flicked Howie’s earlobe, ducking when his friend’s hand came up out of habit to backhand him.
Howie stopped himself from contact, instead glaring at Nick. "What? I’m watching something, even you can’t be that blond to miss it."
Nick snickered at the whispered yelling Howie was doing. "That’s just it. You were being too quiet. I thought you had either fallen asleep or were doing some sort of meditation to the cell phone gods so it would leap to life in my pocket and you could leave."
Rolling his eyes, Howie shook his head. "You were dropped on your head a lot as a child, weren’t you?" He held up his hand between them as Nick went to talk again. "I’m watching the play. Be quiet."
Nick bit his tongue with a grin and turned around to look at Brian and was met with a hand already raised to block him off.
"Watching. Flick my ear and die."
Too bad he didn’t have a camera. Somehow he didn’t think that Leighanne would ever believe that Brian and Howie were both sitting through Shakespeare without being drugged. Shaking his head at the lost opportunity for blackmail, he put his attention back on the stage.
Standing off at the side of the stage Alex and Kevin were given the one-minute cue until the mics built into their wigs went live. Grabbing Alex’s hand, Kevin pulled him back a bit and grabbed the other hand and bowed his head.
Alex knew instantly what Kevin was doing and bent his head as well. Kevin’s voice was hushed and even standing as close as they were, Alex had a hard time hearing it. "Heavenly father, we ask you to watch over both myself and Alex for this performance. Let Alex shine like I know he can and let me not trip over my lines with a Kentucky accent. Thank you for your blessings. Amen."
Alex hugged him, the last part of their pre-show ritual and he felt better. That little bit of normalcy did wonders for him. He took a few deep breaths as the p.a. switched on their mic packs and ushered them to their entrance spot and stopped them behind the glow taped line.
Hearing their cue and they entered onstage with the King and Queen and other assorted swing actors acting as attendants.
Launching into his first line, Alex’s husky voice rang through the theater as he bowed slightly to the Queen and King, Kevin mirroring his actions.
They both stiffened for a second on the way up as another sound went through the theater that was not coming from the stage. Biting the inside of their cheeks, they heard a gasp that was strangled off rather quickly, but it answered the question of where out in the darkness Howie, Brian and Nick were.
There was a breeze. Which was pretty impressive, seeing as they were indoors. But, he figured if two heads whip around to stare at one person, with that much speed, it was bound to cause a little air disturbance. Managing not to laugh at the stunned looks, he decided a little turnaround was fair at this point. Raising both his hands to cover Howie and Brian’s faces, he stared straight ahead at his husband delivering his lines without a hint of his accent on stage. "Watching."
From the snorts he heard, he knew he was going to pay for that, but hell, it was worth it. He watched the stage and bit his lip at the sight of Alex in so many clothes. He hadn’t seen Alex’s arms covered up since their last tour date in Toronto. He was beginning to question his sanity at finding his husband so hot looking in his costume though. But hey, leather pants were leather pants, be they Elizabethan or modern.
Squelching those thoughts, he paid attention to what was going on and lost himself in the story.
When intermission came, Nick stood as the lights were going up and felt for his wallet and the two phones in his pockets, "You two want to get some fresh air while it’s intermiss…." Two hands grabbed his arms and yanked him back into his seat. He sighed, "Ooookay. Maybe not. Let’s save the interrogation shall we? Yes I knew. Kevin set it up. Just something he wanted to do with Alex. No, I couldn’t tell you and as for why, ask Kevin. Did that cover it all? And I can’t believe you two fell for the ‘culture’ excuse. I mean, come on! This is me."
He heard snorts again a split second before two hands met up with the back of his head and smacked it. He winced and rubbed his head, "Hey! Sure, shoot the messenger. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to stretch my legs, not all of us have feet that barely touch the floor."
He scooted over Brian's legs and into the aisle before they could really register the insult and he laughed under his breath all the way up the aisle.
He came back just after the lights flickered in the lobby and took the aisle seat as Howie and Brian finished talking. For the rest of the performance, the three of them were riveted to the action on the stage. When the curtain fell, they all sat there, just absorbing it all. Sure, they’d all studied Shakespeare, but it was nowhere near seeing it live. The applause of the audience roused them and the also got to their feet and applauded, clapping even harder and whistling when Kevin and Alex went out to take their bow, making them both blush.
They waited for the audience to clear out to the exits and Nick brought Howie and Brian to the stage door where he spoke a few words to the P.A. and they were let through into the backstage area. Another P.A. met them and they were dropped off in front of a dressing room.
Nick knocked softly and peeked his head inside the door, "Anyone naked?"
He was met by Alex yanking him suddenly through the door and the sight of Kevin curled up on a chair, obviously in pain. His hand automatically reached for the morphine pen in his pocket, kneeling next to Kevin on the chair. "Kev? How bad is it?"
Kevin grabbed his hand and gritted his teeth, keeping the morphine pen in Nick’s hand. "O..okay. Not…too…bad."
Nick nodded and looked Kevin over from head to toe quickly, seeing the muscles standing out and rigid on his arms and chest. "Where is it worst?"
Kevin let go of Nick’s hand and hit the small of his back with his fist, "Back…..fuck….."
Nick’s hands immediately found the small of Kevin’s back and he dug his fingers into the rigid muscles, trying to loosen them. Another pair of hands joined in the work on Kevin’s back and looking up in surprise, Nick saw Alex concentrating on mirroring his hands to every movement of Nick’s. With a nod of understanding between them, Nick resumed. Talking softly and keeping his fingers and hands moving in continuous motion over Kevin’s back, it took twenty minutes for control of Kevin’s body to return to him. He was left exhausted in its wake, only able to lean into Nick and close his eyes, trying to regroup.
Nick turned to Howie and Brian and nodded towards the door, "Can you call Marcus and tell them to bring the van around. They should be waiting not too far away." He handed them their cell phones and they left to find somewhere they could get reception.
Turning his attention to Alex, he squeezed the older man’s shoulder and nodded in thanks. Nodding back, Alex looked around the room. "You finish getting him ready to roll and I’ll make sure everything is packed up, ok?"
Nodding, Nick took the shirt that Alex handed to him and slid one of Kevin's arms, then the other, through the sleeves and started to button the front.
Sensing Eyes on him, Nick looked up to see Kevin watching his fingers. Knowing that his skin was sensitive after bouts of pain, Nick lightly trailed a finger up Kevin’s exposed chest and stopped when he reached his chin, lifting it so he could look directly into his husband’s green eyes, his own blue eyes sparkling mischievously. He leaned closer and kissed over Kevin's jugular, nipping softly with his teeth, then moving his lips to Kevin's ear, "This seems weird, usually my fingers are unfastening the buttons. What do you say," He kissed over the rim of Kevin's ear, feeling him tremble under his fingertips, "That tonight, if you are good, you and I do this in the right direction?"
Hearing Kevin's little whimper was all the answer he needed as he pulled away again and buttoned up the shirt as if nothing had happened.
Kevin’s tongue stuck out at Nick for a second, until the younger man tried to grab it between his fingers, "Hey! None of that! We don’t let our son do that, so I’m not going to let his father. Unless it’s used during…well, you know." He wiggled his eyebrows up and down, furthering the torture on Kevin.
Finishing up with the shirt, Nick saw Alex waiting with their bags and helped Nick pull Kevin to his feet and hold him up as his muscles regrouped and held Kevin's legs steady. Carefully, they made their way to the car waiting by the stage door and got everyone settled.
Being famous did have it’s perks in times like these, instead of having to haul themselves through the terminal, they were given special clearance to be driven right onto the tarmac and board their plane. Half-carrying Kevin through the airport was something none of them were looking forward to, knowing he would be too stubborn to use a wheelchair.
Once they were loaded onto the plane, Kevin nodded at Nick and the younger man went up to the front of the plane, spoke with the pilot for a minute, and came back into the cabin. Grabbing Brian, he sat him beside Kevin, "There’s been a change of plans."
That quieted the plane to near silence as they all looked at Nick.
Kevin grabbed Nick's hand and squeezed it as he leaned forward to speak. "It’s not Nick that changed them, it was me. We’re making a little detour on the way to Orlando. We’re making a stop in Lexington and then Howie and AJ will stay on the plane and continue on to Orlando. Brian, Nick and I have some family things to attend to."
Brian’s eyebrows shot up, "But I have plans and appointments in Orlando!"
Kevin nodded, "And Leigh’s gone and rearranged them for next week, before she got on a plane herself to meet us there."
That stopped Brian’s protests cold. "What are we going to Lexington for, Kev? Is something happening with the family I don’t know about?"
Alex, who had stayed quiet since being backstage, interrupted, "This is part of the list isn’t it?"
Kevin nodded and looked at Howie and Brian. "Alex already knows about this, because the whole play thing was part of this list. Nick and I sat down and decided that we just weren’t going to sit there and wait for the end to come. So I thought up a list of things I want to do and with Nick’s help, I’m trying to get them all done before I can’t. You guys are on that list, but you have a section all to yourselves. They are things I want to share with you guys one on one."
Brian raised an eyebrow, "So what are we doing in Lexington?"
Kevin grinned as laid his head in Nick's lap, "Patience, dear cousin. I hear it's a virtue."
TBC…