Chapter 19

"Father!"

Brian couldn’t believe how good it felt to be home again, but to see his father up and about, a vast improvement from the frail and weak man he had left behind, was the icing on the cake. Ignoring protocol, he rushed to embrace his father, distantly seeing his mother rushing towards him and soon all three were sharing a warm embrace.

Brian pulled back after giving his mother a kiss to look at their smiling faces and noticed when their focus shifted to someone behind him. His smile growing wider, Brian moved aside. He found his own eyes water as he watched his father take the younger man’s face in his hands. His mother still held on to Brian’s hand as she watched her husband try to convey his feelings to ‘their’ younger son.

She had had to practically tie him to his bed when he found out about what had happened since his poisoning. Both his sons missing didn’t help his spirits any but knowing his people were counting on him forced him to work at his recovery. With the help of General Liam, Daryn and Colonel Jerald, they had tracked down General Neil’s accomplices and restored order to Khiranirn. Ever since then, all everyone did was anxiously await the return of the party that had gone to save their younger prince.

When news reached the palace of the ship seen on the horizon, King Barrett and Queen Eva had wasted no time preparing for their arrival. Colonel Jerald had been set to greet Brian and the others at the harbor with a few soldiers from Kevin’s command. Now that they were finally face to face, Barrett cursed his court training that failed him. His elder son had always enjoyed an easy relationship with him, but unfortunately, the younger was another matter entirely. Nick had always been unsure of his place with both his ‘parents’. Thankfully he harbored no misgivings when it came to Brian, openly affectionate with him, but with the King and Queen, he found it more comfortable to deal with them as just that rather than as parents.

So now he stood before them as a loyal soldier would, at attention and ever respectful. But one look into his eyes and you could see the hurt that had been done to him. A hurt no father should ever have to see in his child. All Barrett wanted to do was to take his son into his arms and welcome him home. It was for this reason, he had arranged for them to meet the returning party in a private chamber where the King and Queen could fuss over them to their hearts content.

So now, with his son’s face in his hands, he attempted to express the love he felt for his younger son. Never had he been so thankful for his son’s emphatic abilities than he was now as he saw Nick’s doubts clear and his son move to hug him. After a moment, he pulled back seeing some of the shadows clear his son’s eyes and they both turned towards the Queen.

Releasing Brian’s hand, Eva moved towards Nick. She could see him hold his breath and took a deep one of her own as she called his name, opening her arms to him. Just as he used to do when he was younger, he rushed to her and soon both were holding on to each other with tears in their eyes. Brian and Barrett joined them and the rest watched in silence as the family rejoiced in their reunion.

Kevin was nervous. He’d faced down cold-blooded killers, murderous trolls and just recently a treacherous god, but he was about to face his most terrifying experience yet, in the form of a ten year old boy. Looking down at the boy whose hand he held as he led him to the gardens, he ran through again what he wanted to say. Initially he had wanted to run it pass Nick first but then decided to do this on his own.

Cole could feel his heart pounding. Kevin had approached him and asked if they could talk in private. Going after Nick had let him spend some time with Kevin and he had come to admire the man even more. He’d been so happy when he found out about the engagement but happiness had eventually turned to fear as he wondered where he would fit into the picture, if he would even fit in at all. And now, was his deepest fear about to be realized?

Finally finding a spot he considered secluded enough, Kevin led Cole to a nearby bench. Once they were both seated, Kevin turned to face him and smiled. Cole looked exactly like he felt and they must have made quite a picture. His hands fiddling on his lap, the boy refused to meet his eyes and Kevin decided it was now or never.

"Cole?"

The boy looked up, stilling his hands, trying to hide his nervousness.

"Yes?"

"What do you think about Nick and I being engaged?"

If they hadn’t been so caught up in their conversation, one of them would have heard the shocked gasp but as it is neither noticed the now silent figure edge closer to them.

Cole was silent for a moment before answering, deciding to be honest. Kevin deserved as much and if he was going to lose Nick, he would make sure Kevin knew just how special Nick was to him and that he’d better take good care of him.

"I’m happy cause I can see how happy Nick is. He really loves you."

A little smile played about his lips as he continued.

"He told me so himself the other night on the ship. We were alone and he was playing with the ring on his finger, this really goofy smile on his face, kinda like the one you’ve got on now."

Kevin, startled, realized Cole was right. He had been picturing what Cole was describing in his mind and couldn’t help it. They both broke out into soft laughter, the tension in the air effectively broken. Sobering, Cole continued knowing Kevin wouldn’t like what he was about to say next as much.

"But I’m also afraid."

At this, Kevin began to frown. Cole hurriedly blurted out the rest before he lost his nerve.

"You both are so happy together. Everyone on the ship could see it and even though Nick spent as much time with me, when you’re finally married, you’re not going to want a kid hanging around all the time. You’ll soon get tired of me and then you’ll send me away. I know you’ve already realized this and that’s why you’ve brought me here today to tell me now that you want to send me away, and I understand-"

"Cole-"

"Really, it’s alright. I just want to say thanks for everything. I mean, I know I was really lucky to have been taken in by all of you in the first place-"

"Cole-"

"But I guess it was too good to last. And the last thing I want is to be a burden so if you could please just tell Nick that I love him and-"

"COLE!"

Kevin looked as shocked as Cole did at the man’s shout but Kevin recovered quickly.

"Listen to me, Cole. Obviously we haven’t been clear enough on how much you mean to us. Something that we will definitely have to work on, but the reason I asked you here was to- well, to-"

‘Damn it, Richardson! Just spit it out already.’

"Cole, what I’m trying to say is-"

Cole was beyond confused. If he was wrong about them wanting him to leave, what could Kevin possibly want to tell him?

"Cole, we’d like to adopt you as our son."

There, he’d said it. He’d thought long and hard about this. Nick loved Cole and Kevin had found the boy occupying a place in his heart as well. The journey to find Nick had only added to his love and now that Nick and he were to be a family, it was only right to have Cole be a part of it as well. Of course all his planning would be worthless as long as Cole stayed silent so he decided to give the boy a little nudge.

"Cole?"

A family.

Nick, Kevin and he.

For once in his short life, he was going to ignore all the doubts, all the questions and just ask what was foremost in his mind.

"Does that mean I can call you papa?"

Finding himself enveloped in hug as the older man scooped him up into his arms, Cole heard clearly the answer.

"For now and always, Cole. For now and always."

Both stayed that way for a time, neither ever realizing the figure moving stealthily away, her royal circlet reflecting the rays of the sun.

‘I can do this.’

One more step, and hesitantly, another.

‘That’s it. Just take it one step at a time.’

Silently coaching himself on, Nick entered his room. He had just been briefed by the lieutenants of his squad before deciding to return to his room, only to find a sense of uneasiness fill him with each step closer. It was nothing tangible. It was not that he sensed danger. Just the memories of what he had endured that caused him to pause.

He had hurt here.

A lot.

A few more steps taken and he stood before his bed. The sheets were brand new and not a drop of blood remained anywhere in the room. The servants had done a good job. Now, if only they could remove his memories, things would be perfect.

But life didn’t work that way.

He watched him approach the bed hesitantly, the memories so obviously being replayed in his head. Long moments passed just staring before finally, he moved to the bedside. Unknowingly, he echoed Kevin’s actions as he ran his fingers over the now clean sheets. There was no longer anything to stain his hands, only recollections of a dagger inflicting torment.

Brown eyes watched as he sat upon the bed, slowly lowering his head into his hands, shivers shaking his body. There was no sob, only a deep exhalation as he tried to will the memories that were coming in flashes too vivid to ignore.

**feeling helpless, looking into dark eyes over him**

**an icy caress to his cheek**

**the dagger revealed**

**the first cut, then deeper**

**pain**

**burning**

**Kevin, warmth, love**

**the shock of pain once more, Kevin gone**

**the sound of his own scream**

**AJ**

AJ gasped in surprise as he saw his own image of when he was on the balcony that day. His vision focusing, he found himself staring into the blue eyes of his friend. He realized then that he had been in Nick’s head, reliving what Nick must have been going through just now.

‘To relive everything.’

His eyes softened as he took in his friend’s pained expression. Distantly, he realized he was standing at exactly the same spot on the balcony. Never losing eye contact, he moved towards his friend.

‘AJ.’

He’d had to physically shake his head to confirm the figure before him was no illusion. AJ was moving towards him, a small comforting smile on his face. Judging from the look in his eyes, Nick realized that somehow he had shared what Nick had just relived. Feeling slightly guilty, Nick was also relieved that he hadn’t had to go through that alone.

"You doing okay there, kid?"

"Kid, AJ?"

AJ smiled at the response as he sat by Nick.

"You’ll always be my little brother, Nicky. Even when you’re 80 and still busy going gaga over Kevin."

When Nick remained silent, AJ patiently waited. Just as he had hoped for, Nick leaned slightly forward and AJ pulled him into a comforting hug. No words were needed as Nick let himself accept what was in the past and move on.

Pulling back, he smiled in grateful appreciation. AJ just shook his head and stood. It never ceased to amaze Nick how someone as vocal as AJ could be so aware of the power of wordless support. Somehow he knew when words were needed and more importantly when they weren’t.

Both looked up as the door opened to reveal Kevin with Cole asleep in his arms. AJ grinned at Nick before moving past Kevin, pausing long enough to whisper something to the older man that made him blush and glare at the rogue in response.

Nick’s smile remained in place as he watched Kevin gently put Cole on his pallet. As he was placing the blanket over the boy though, Cole stirred. Kevin softly murmured soothing words urging the boy back to sleep. Cole, groggily registered Kevin’s presence. Smiling, he mumbled a good night, although it was still daylight out but Nick didn’t pick up on it as the only thing that registered was what he had called Kevin.

Cole’s words continued ringing in his ears as Kevin set the partition that separated Nick’s bed from the rest of the room.

"Good night, papa."

Before he could even formulate a response, Kevin covered his mouth in a kiss as he occupied AJ’s previous seat. Automatically, Nick’s arms came around him pulling Kevin closer. Kissing had quickly become one of their favorite past-times, both seemingly addicted to the other’s taste. Kevin’s own hands started sliding up Nick’s chest as he pushed Nick down to lie flat on his back never once breaking their kiss. Kevin finally pulled back when his lungs began to protest the lack of air, but Nick didn’t let him get too far as the younger man rolled them over so that now, he was lying over Kevin instead. His eyes shinning as he looked down at his fiancé, Nick’s smile threatened to split his face.

"Papa?"

Kevin taking Nick’s face into his hands pulled him down for a tender kiss.

"Our son, Nezadi."

"We’ll be a family."

Nick just looked down at Kevin letting him see all the love he had for him. The memory of what he had just gone through before Kevin walked into the room now so distant as to be inconsequential. How could any shadow darken his life with the love of this man shinning so brightly and true in his heart?

Kevin, picking up on Nick’s thoughts, protectively pulled him closer as the flashes of the past filled his mind.

//Nezadi?//

//Everything’s fine, Kevin. AJ was here and in my heart, so were you//

Kevin felt Nick press a kiss to his shoulder where the younger man’s face was now resting on. One hand coming up to grasp Nick’s own, Kevin heard the slight hesitation in Nick’s voice as he spoke.

"We’ll be telling them tonight after dinner, right?"

"That’s what we agreed on, Nick."

//Have you changed your mind, love?//

Kevin’s voice in his head was kind and understanding. He knew Kevin would accept any decision he made. Grasping the hand that held his tighter, he answered.

//No. I want to be yours in every way, and I-//

//Nick?//

//I want to have their blessing, Kevin//

Kevin kissed the top of his head before answering.

"We will have it, Nezadi. Khira willing, we will have it."