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10,000 Kisses
Nick, Kevin, and Suz giggled loudly as they approached the front door. They
had noticed a multitude of cars around Suz’s house and music blaring from the
living room. “Did you plan a party and not tell me?” Suz joked. “Not to my
knowledge,” Kevin responded as he attempted to straighten his hair with his
sticky fingers. “I can’t believe that we are going in there looking like
this!” Nick groaned. Suz jumped on Nick’s back bouncing like Tigger for him
to move it, “Come on, Tubby! Move it and stuff it! You know you had fun
today!” Suz said as her hand reached down for the doorknob, “Ya ready!?”
Suz pushed the door opened fiercely causing it to bang against the wall.
Everyone gathered in the living room jumped in fright. Rachel was the first
to speak, “What the hell?” She walked over to the three as her eyes wondered
from their heads to their toes. “What do you mean - What the hell? - Haven’t
you ever seen a purple person before?” Suz said with a poker straight face.
Rachel opened her mouth again but not knowing how to respond clamped it shut.
She continued to stare at as Suz rested against Nick’s back. “Come on,
Carter, move that fat ass,” Kevin yelled behind them. “Hey, I don’t have a
fat ass!” Nick exclaimed as he moved forward, “Do I, Suz!?” Everyone watched
as Suz leaned over looking behind her, “Nope, see, just enough to hold me
up!” Nick nodded satisfactually at Suz’s statement. “But,” she continued,
“he has to work for it. You don’t.” “Thanks, I think,” Kevin said chuckling.
Brian and Rachel looked at each other in amazement and back at the scene
unfolding in front of them. They knew something had happened today…but they
didn’t know what. “Oh, girl, that is the last straw,” Nick huffed laughingly
as he let Suz go. Anticipating his actions, Suz steadied herself as he let
her go. Suz watched as Nick walked away, “I’m gonna take a shower, ok Suz?”
“Sure, sure, go ahead,” Suz said waving him off as he walked out the door to
his house across the street. Kissing Suz lightly on the lips, Kevin ran off
to get a shower also. Smiling at everyone, Suz beamed as she raced upstairs
to take a shower.
A half an hour later, she joined the gang in the living room and brought them
up to speed on what happened that day. Of course, she left out the part of
her crying earlier in Nick’s arms. “I can’t believe Kevin did that!” Howie
exclaimed. “Neither can I,” Suz giggled, “But hey, I knew he was a kid at
heart.” Suz quieted down as everyone else began to talk. She had made a
decision in the shower that she was going to tell everyone now about her
past. Her hands nervously fidgeted as she waited for Nick and Kevin to come
back. Lost in her thoughts, she didn’t realize that Kevin was standing over
her until she looked up. Reaching her hand out, she beckoned for Nick,
Chrissy, and Rachel to follow her into the kitchen. “I’m going to tell them,
now,” Suz blurted out then quickly exited. All of them looked at each other
in surprise and hurriedly followed her.
They watched as Suz stood in front of them clearing her throat to get their
attention, “Guys, can you turn the music off for a minute?” Sensing her
nervousness, Brian reached over flicking the power to the stereo off. “Thank
you,” she said whispering, “There’s something I have to tell you guys.” She
felt Kevin grip one hand and Nick grip the other one. She looked up at each
of them noting the reassuring look in their faces.
10,000 Kisses
Chapter 29
Suzanne felt many emotions running through her body-apprehension, wonder,
fury, sadness, passion…The list went on. But she knew she had to do this.
It was evident deep down inside that she was never going to heal properly if
she didn’t tell everyone. She had realized that day with Nick and Kevin that
God was with her and would always be with her. Yes, Suz still felt anger
towards God wondering why he let Scott harm her like that but it had dawned
on her that he didn’t have control over him. God had placed his trust in the
world to do what is good, but that didn’t mean that everything WAS good. And
Suz firmly believed that everything happened for a reason, including things
as horrible and devastating as molestation and rape. She HAD to believe
that or it was the only way she was going to survive things. She knew now
that she was only going to grow stronger. Like she had thought many times
before, she was NOT going to let this ruin or run her life.
Kevin lightly nudged Suz realizing that was lost in her deep thoughts. “Oh,
sorry,” Suz said smiling lopsidedly. Brian walked up to Suz taking her hands
in his, “Whatever it is, we are here. We might not have known you long in
reality but it feels like we have known you our whole lives. You have become
the little sister that I never had.” Tears began to slowly trickle down
Suz’s face. Brian pulled her in for a hug. “Brian?” Suz whispered so only
he could hear. “Yes,” he whispered back. “I…I…shit, I was molested as a
child,” Suz rushed out in a faint whisper. Suz could feel Brian instantly
squeeze her harder. He looked up at Nick and Kevin who were standing behind
Suz. They both realized that Brian knew by the protective look on his face.
Brian released Suz from his hug and turned her around, “Tell them. You’ve
said it to me. You’ve told Nick, Kevin, Chrissy, and Rachel. I know you can
do it. I know you have that strength in you. Dig deep down and pull it up
to let it shine through.” Nodding her head, Suz began to explain, “Well,
about 3 weeks ago…” and continued on. She watched the looks on everyone’s
faces go from pity to anger to love. Finally, after a few moments of silence
after she ended her ‘speech’, Suz was surprised when she felt a pair of arms
encircle her waist. She heard everyone gasp as she looked down and saw a
blond head - Aaron. “Aaron,” Nick said walking over to him. “No, leave him,”
Suz said holding her hand up indicating for Nick to stop. Suz unwrapped
Aaron’s arms from around her and bent down. She looked him in the eyes, “Did
you hear everything I said?” “Yes,” he answered in a whisper hoping she
wasn’t angry with him. “Do you understand what I said?” Suz asked. “Yes,
Suz,” Aaron answered searching her face for some sign of what she was
feeling, “You…you…Are you mad at me?” “Honey, no, I’m not mad at you. I
guess you would have found out sooner or later,” Suz sighed. Satisfied with
her answer, he nodded his head, “Ok, now where is he so I can beat him up?”
as he put his fists up. “Uh, oh, he better watch out because Little Chaos is
coming for him,” Suz said as she stood up laughing. “Finally! I have a
nickname,” Aaron said jumping up and down. Everyone started laughing and
talking all at once. It was amazing that a child could bring comfort to Suz
at this terrible and tiring moment. Suz thought for a moment and realized
that God really did work in mysterious ways.
Later that night, as everyone was leaving, Nick pulled Suz aside, “I’m sorry
about Aaron. I didn’t realize that my mom was going to drop him off here.”
“Nick, that’s ok,” She said glancing over at Aaron who was playing with
Brian, “Seeing Aaron and his innocence of being a child is actually helping
me heal. He reminds me of how carefree I want to be…or should be. I don’t
think he realizes how much he is helping. And damn, the relief I feel of
everyone knowing now is SO GOOD! I didn’t think I’d ever do it!” Nick smiled
back and kissed her on the cheek, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
~ Weeks Later~
*About mid-Aug*
Over the past few weeks, Suz had continued to go to therapy, and gradually
began to work past her sexual fears, as well as emotional. She was very
surprised at what her therapist, Dr. May, had told her to do when Suz had
brought up the subject of Kevin and hers growing sexual relationship. She
had explained to Dr May that she had begun to trust in Kevin emotionally more
in the past few weeks...but that she was still hestitate to do anything
sexual. “Do you want to?” Dr May had asked. “Oh, god, very much so,” Suz
had answered, “When I’m around him, geez, he doesn’t even have to be touching
me, I can just watch him and I get all hot and bothered.” Dr May nodded her
head indicating for Suz to continue. Dr May was thrilled that Suzanne was
bringing the subject of her sexual wants to her. It was at the moment that
Dr May knew Suzanne was going to turn out just fine from this tragedy.
“But I’m still afraid. Not of him being too rough physically with me...but
of everything that goes along with it. Dr May, I know that Kevin is the man
that I’ve been waiting for my whole life...the one I want to marry. But I
still can’t imagine what he sees in me. I know I shouldn’t still be thinking
that. And I know that getting involved sexually will take things in our
relationship to the next level but sometimes I hear this voice telling me
that he is just doing this out of pity...or as a good deed,” Suzanne spilled
out. She looked down at her hands fearing Dr. May’s rebuttal. Suz had just
sent them back 10 steps after going forward 5 a week before. She sniffled
trying hard to cry.
“You’re right,” Dr. May said. Suz looked up in surprise. She hadn’t
expected Dr. May to agree with her. “What do you mean ‘You agree’?” Suzanne
said. “Just what I said,” Dr. May said, “He never does anything for you,
right?” Suz continued to stare at her blankly. “He never takes you out to
eat, or pulls out a chair for you, or even opens a door for you,” Dr. May
said, “Or wipes your tears when you are crying, or allows you to physically
us him as a punching bag, or holds you until 3am when you are afraid to go
asleep.” Suzanne’s expression changed as Dr. May continued on, “Or does
everyday things like make your bed, clean the pool, go grocery shopping, or
reads to you.” By this time, Dr. May had Suz blushing up a storm and almost
crying for happiness but yet giggling at the same time, “Ok, STOP! I get the
point.” Dr. May watched Suzanne compose herself, “Do you have doubt now?” Suz
shook her head no, “You made me realize that I wasn’t really looking what is
in front of me. Thank You.”
Suzanne now knew that she had take a giant leap forward instead of back.
“Now, about your sexual feelings,” Dr. May said grinning at Suz, “Have you
ever masturbated?” Suz glanced at the doctor before answering, “Honestly?”
The doctor nodded. “Well, no, but up until the other day, I never thought
about it,” Suzanne said. “And?” “And what? I didn’t do anything,” Suz said.
“Next time the feeling arouses you, do it,” the doctor said. “Are you
serious?” Suz said surprised, “I’ve never heard a doctor recommend that.”
“What better way to become comfortable with sex then with yourself first?”
the doctor said. Suzanne pondered what she said. “Now, our time is over,
but I recommend for you to take my advice and run with it. Believe me,
you’ll like it,” Dr May said giving Suzanne a hug.
Dr. May watched as Suzanne walked away and out of her office. She knew that
she always shocked some of her patients by recommending masturbating...but
that is what Dr. May’s therapist had once said to her when Dr. May was in
therapy years ago for being molested. Her patients might have thought she
was slightly wacked when she suggested that but it always worked. And she
could how sexual of a person that Suzanne was...She just needed to let it
out.
~Suz’s House~
“Hi Honey, I’m home!” Suzanne shouted as she walked through the front door.
Dr. May’s advice had given her a new attitude. Suzanne decided to turn the
tables and surprise Kevin with whatever she did now. “MOMMY! I MISSED YOU!!”
Joe said running to Suz and giving her a hug. “Get off of me, you big oaf,”
she said laughing hysterically, “And I’m NOT your mother!” “But Daddy,” Joe
said pointing to Kevin, “won’t let me play!” Suzanne rolled her eyes as she
could have only guessed what they were doing before she came home. And she
really didn’t want to know!
Kevin walked over to Suzanne giving her a light kiss. “Hi hun,” Suz
whispered into his mouth as their lips touched a second time. “Hi gorgeous,
how was it?” Kevin said searching her eyes as his hands rubbed along her
sides sending shivers down her spine. “Interesting,” Suz said with smirk.
“Oh?” Kevin replied arching an eyebrow. “You’ll know soon enough,” she said
as she brought his lips down to hers again.
~A Week Later~
The gang had all decided to go to Disney World again that day. Suzanne
hadn’t of been back since that first time Kevin and her went. But today, she
had decided it would be her day to herself. So, she urged Kevin to go with
them and not stay with her. Reluctantly, he had agreed thinking something
was wrong but Suz had assured him that she needed this time to herself.
Now it was a few hours later, and Suzanne was standing at the phone staring
at it.
“Should I or shouldn’t I?” she wondered out loud.
Picking it up finally, she dialed listening to it ring once, twice, then
three times before someone picked up, “Dr. May’s Office, How can I help you?”
“Tina,” Suzanne said to Dr. May’s assistant, “It’s Suzanne. Can I talk to
Dr. May for a minute?”
As Tina patched her through, Suz waited in anticipation.
“Hi Suzanne,” Dr. May said over the phone.
“I DID IT!” Suz said excitedly.
Dr. May knew instantly what she was talking about, “How did it feel?”
“Uh, breathless, explosive, mindblowing,” Suz rushed out.
Dr. May laughed at the sound of Suzanne’s wonderful disposition.
“And I know that I want more and can handle more, with Kevin,” Suz said.
“Suzanne, you have accomplished exactly what I knew you could do,” Dr. May
said.
They talked for a few minutes more, then said their goodbyes. They both
agreed that Suzanne would only see Dr. May every 2 weeks now. More if Suz
felt the need.
~Later in the Evening~
A few hours later, Suz rushed out the door as she heard the troops pull up.
Seeing Rachel step out of Larry’s car, she rushed over quickly, “Larry, keep
them occupied for a minute, don’t let anyone go in.” Turning to get their
attention, Larry started telling the gang about something.
“Rachel, please, in some way, convey to them to stay over the guys’ house for
a while, ok? I want Kevin to come with me,” Suzanne said.
Smiling slightly, Rachel nodded her head. She didn’t ask any questions.
Suz quickly walked over explaining the same thing to Nick who also agreed.
“Hun, you know we’d do anything for you. I’m sure that we can keep ourselves
occupied for, ahem, a few hours. Or the whole night,” he said with a hidden
smirk. She lightly hit him on the arm then hugged him.
Suz walked over to Kevin and grabbed his hand.
He looked at her surprised at her hurriedness as he also watched the gang
walk into his house. “Aren’t we going to join them?” Kevin said glancing
over.
“Nope,” Suz said leading him to the house. Kevin watched her body move as
she walked and felt his groin tighten in arousal. Kevin groaned not
realizing he did it out loud.
“Something wrong?” Suz said smiling at him hiding her grin.
“Oh, no,” Kevin said quickly, a little too quickly shaking his head
forcefully.
Suz turned around, hiding her smile, pulling him behind her and grinned
inwardly. It was working. It wasn’t until she really took notice of the
small things around her that she noticed how much Kevin wanted her. Suz let
go of Kevin’s hand and ran into the house disappearing from his sight. He
heard her giggles disappear deeper into the house.
Running after her, he slammed the front door looking around, “Suz!! Where are
you!?”
“I’m right here,” she said from outside on the patio near the pool.
Nearing the sliding door, Kevin could see her frame shadowed against the
glistening pool water.
With a finger, she beckoned to him to follow her.
Gulping, he felt his penis twitch from arousal. Damn, he was getting so hot.
Instinctively, he pulled off his shirt standing in just his black denim
shorts. He removed his shoes and socks as he opened the patio door and
slipped out. He turned to see Suz now sitting on a lounger looking over at
him.
Smiling, she nodded her head towards him. He approached her. She leaned
forward inviting him to sit behind her. Taking the cue, he sat down pulling
her against him.
Sighing softly, she closed her eyes feeling his naked skin against her neck.
Kevin breathed deeply engulfing the smell of her wonderful hair splayed
across his chest. They both laid there for endless minutes enjoying the
presence of each other and the cool moonlite night.
Finally, Suzanne broke the silence. “Kevin?” Suzanne said. “Hmm,” he
murmured. “I love you,” she said as she rubbed her hands up and down his
denim covered thighs.
Kevin’s eyes flew open at Suzanne’s admission. Kevin stopped Suz’s hands
from moving by placing his hands over hers. In order to do this, he had to
sit up. She could feel his hot breath breathing down her neck. It was
sending shivers up and down her spine.
“Suz, I love you too,” Kevin said taking her hands in his and bringing them
to his lips. She heard Kevin’s voice catch as he said those words.
Suz turned to look at him only to see him crying. “Oh, Kevin,” she said as
she wiped his tears away.
“You’re going to be alright,” Kevin repeated in a whisper.
“I know, Kevin, I know. I’m going to fine now,” Suz said, “But it was you I
was worried about.”
“Me?” he answered.
“Yes, if I kept doing this,” Suz said rubbing her hands up and down his
thigh and feeling his erection straining against the denim, “I didn’t know if
you’d live.”
Kevin chuckled embarrassingly.
“Kevin?” she said.
“Yes?” he said.
“KISS ME!” she moaned. Obliging her, he bent down taking her lips in his.
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