CHAPTER SIXTY - REFLECTION

Everything was falling apart and there wasn't a damn thing AJ could do to stop it. He resignedly followed the other four guys into the media room, taking a seat quietly as he patiently waited for another mindless interview to begin. He had purposely chosen the darkest shades he could find, not wanting anyone to see him. If they did, they would be surprised to see the desperation, the despair that shone plainly in his dark brown eyes.

The interview began and AJ hoped the questions would be held to a minimum, he had no desire to answer the same old questions he had heard a million times before. He scoffed under his breath as he listened to Nick, Howie, and Kevin repeat how tight the group was, that they were more than friends, they were like brothers, blah, blah, blah…. AJ answered a question tossed at him with a noncommittal grunt, not caring about the strange look the interviewer threw his way. Right now his worry lay with Brian, who sat on the opposite side of him. Brian kept his head down until asked a question, then answered in soft replies, all the while restlessly playing with a pencil. From behind his glasses AJ stared frankly at him, taking his time to study him thoroughly.

Last week had been pure hell, a total of six shows in seven days, and with every show their relationship with Brian had deteriorated further, to the point where AJ seriously considered if it was a mistake in forcing him to stay with the group. Any resemblance of warmth towards Brian was held strictly on stage for the fans; once they exited the arena it became a war zone. No one was taking prisoners, each doing their best to destroy with harsh looks and even harsher words. Brian took their shots with comebacks of his own, often more bitter than what he received. Soon however, he ceased to answer back. He withdrew into a stony silence, making his presence scarce, gone for long stretches at a time with Xavier, only to reappear just before showtime. What Brian did during those long hours was anybody's guess, but his absence was the only thing that kept things sane.

AJ tore away from his thoughts long enough to listen to Brian's explanation of his sudden weight loss. He had begun to recently wear thick sweaters along with heavy leather coats, the size of his clothing trying to add deceptive bulk to his frame. Their fans were far from stupid and it did not go unnoticed on the various internet websites regarding Brian's appearance. It was only natural for the interviewer to ask, since it was so obvious. Interested, AJ strained to catch what Brian would say, only to hear Brian's standard answer about a "new look," and "wanting to get in better shape."

He spared a quick glance at Nick who was rolling his eyes dramatically. He bit his lip, pissed at Nick's lack of control, but knew better than to call him on it; Nick was spoiling for a fight and it wasn't hard to see how the emotional and mental turmoil was taking a toll on him.

AJ listened offhandedly as the interview came to a close, glad to be out of there. Tonight was their final show before taking a hiatus and the lure of flying back home and zoning out for a week was sounding more and more like pure heaven to him. The interview finally over, AJ sat up and stretched, giving Howie a "lets go" nod. In mid-yawn, he watched as Xavier came over to slap his massive hands down on Brian's shoulders, shaking him almost affectionately as a signal to get up and leave. Brian stiffened for only a fraction of a moment, but AJ caught it and the look of disgust that flickered across Brian's face. Surprised, AJ experienced a flash of deja vu. He thought hard for a moment, trying to place where he had witnessed something similar, then shrugged, irritated at being unable to pinpoint it.

He watched as the two left together, conceding to the fact that as much as he disliked Xavier, the bodyguard had done a good job of keeping Brian under control and out of sight. He just hoped the bodyguard would be as successful for the second half of their tour. Howie slapped AJ gently on the arm, breaking him out of his reverie, indicating it was time to go. AJ nodded and followed him out.