That's The Way Life Goes 
Chapter 1
by JeN
(C)by JeN and used with permission on this site.
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This story is strictly fiction and not meant to imply anything about anyone 
in the Backstreet Boys or Nsync or anyone connected to them. All other 
besides BSB and Nsync are fictional and any resemblance to people living or
dead is purely coincidental. 
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TWO YEARS LATER

"Do you remember the last thing he said...before the accident?"
Sara looked down at her hands, an awkward smile on her face.  As if she could 
still see him standing in front of her, the memory bringing back a mixture of 
happiness and loss. 
"He had left something that he needed at the studio that afternoon.  And he 
insisted that he go get it *right then*...couldn't wait.  It never could, 
didn't matter to him that it was nearly 1 am.  So, he...he came in the den 
and he told me where he was going and...he told me he loved me and that he'd 
be right back.  That was it.  I mean...he didn't know...we didn't know that 
he would never...ya know.  It wasn't a big tragic...thing."

"Didn't know that he would never...ya know."  Two years since her husbands 
death and Sara McLean still can't bare to utter the words.    Several times 
during the interview Sara had to stop and "collect herself".  Tears streamed 
down the young woman's face as if it had all happened just yesterday.  I 
wondered then as I wonder now going back over our taped sessions if this 
really is the first time she has discussed this.  One would think that two 
years behind her it wouldn't be as difficult to talk about....

The lady behind the desk put down the magazine article and shook her head.  
"Terrible..." she muttered to herself as she picked it back up again.  
Looking over the pictures this time she felt a lump grow in her throat.  
"That's...that's not possible."


"Sara...are you okay?  You gonna get out of the bed today at all?"
"No."
"Sara..."
"Brian...I...can't I just indulge in a good lazy day where all I have to do 
is sit in this bed and feel sorry for myself?  Please?"
"And that would be different from every other day...how was that exactly?"
Sara sat up in her bed.  "That's not fair."
"No, it's not.  It's not fair that he's gone, it's not fair that you and 
little AJ have to live without him.  But do you not think that WE miss him 
too?  You are still here...YOU are still alive.  You have a son to raise...a 
son who has already lost one parent.  So get out of the bed Sara.  Start 
living you life without him.  FOR him...do you think AJ would want you laying 
here crying all day....everyday?  You have got to move on sometime."
"I don't want to."
"I really don't care what you WANT to do.  Get UP!"
Brian reached over and jerked the covers off the bed, walked over and began 
to pick her up.
"BRIAN...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"
"I'm getting you out of the bed and forcing you to make a decision."
Before Sara could ask what he was talking about she felt herself fall from 
Brian's arms and into the very cold swimming pool.  Brian stood at the side 
watching her swim to the stairs and climb out.  
"What the hell was that about?"
"You want to live Sara...if you didn't you wouldn't have swam out of the 
pool.  I gave you the perfect opportunity...and you choose to swim.  So stop 
drowning in this...hell you have created for yourself.  Will you please start 
to live your life again?"
Sara looked down at the ground and began to bite at her bottom lip as she 
always did when she didn't know what to do.
"I don't know if I can Brian.  I don't know if I...if I even know how."
Brian pulled her in a tight embrace, "You can, Sara.  You have to..."
"I'm getting you all wet."
Brian began to laugh, "I noticed."