You Do What You Have To Do:
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by: Tina and Danielle
Rated: R (adult stuff, ya know?)
copyright: 1999

Sam took notes of everything that we could think of off of the top of our
heads that we needed. She looked at the list when we were done and smiled
at us, "Just a few questions and we should be ready to roll."

We both nodded and she smiled, "Colors?"

Kevin and I both looked at each other and both answered at the same time,
"Green and Blue."

She chuckled and wrote it down. I raised an eyebrow at her, "What's so
funny?"

She smiled and grabbed a hand from each of us that was sitting on the table
and put Kevin's on mine, so we were holding hands. "Much better."

We both looked at her, in shock. Were we that obvious? She laughed at our
shocked faces, and got a far away look on hers , all shiny and happy, "You
two remind me of Melinda and I when we first started dating. You two have
been finishing each others sentences and answering for each other the whole
time. It's just adorable. You two really know each other inside and out."

That was the worlds biggest compliment and reassurance I could ask for right
there. I spread my fingers apart and raised them to entangle them with
Kevin's. We could trust her, I knew we could. Kevin smiled and squeezed my
fingers with his, "Discretion?"

Sam nodded, "Girl Scout's honor."

We all laughed and she put her chin on her hand and looked at the two of us,
"You two do make a striking couple. Yin and Yang. A combination of opposites
with enough of the other in them to make it harmonious. Nick with his youth
and enthusiasm and Kevin with his age and experience. The two of you could
almost change a girl's mind." She raised an eyebrow, "Almost."

We all laughed and she picked up her pencil, "Well that was my deep moment
for the day. Onto the mission at hand, "You have the bed right?"

We both nodded and turned interesting shades of pink. Sam smirked and wrote
on her paper, "One slightly broken in bed. Springs test ok."

That made us blush even more. Sam shook her head with a chuckle, "Closets
divided or share one?"

Kevin and I looked at each other and had one of our silent little
conversations, I looked at Sam, "Divided. Mr. Clean over there would faint
at
the sight of my closet."

Kevin stuck his tongue out at me and I raised an eyebrow, "Save that for
later, B. We have company." I didn't use the whole name Bumpkin, because I
knew he would likely smack me upside the head.

Sam snorted she was laughing so hard as Kevin tried to look unimpressed with
my comment, but it wasn't working. He couldn't stop the smirk at the corners
of his lips. He just shot me a look instead, "Looks like someone could use
a spanking when we get home."

I shuddered dramatically and growled a little, then got serious, "If the
words 'Who's your daddy?!" ever come out of your mouth, I swear to god I'm
going to hit you. Hard."

That was it for Sam, she smacked us both with her pad of paper, "That's it!
You two are coming over for dinner one night. Melinda's going to love you!"

Kevin and I smiled, "We would be honored." In the back of my mind, I was
yelling in joy. Someone knew about us and they were like us too and we had
someone to talk to about it.

Sam smiled back at us, "This press promo tour is for how long?"

Kevin watched the storm clouds roll across my face at the mention of this
suck ass press tour. His hand gripped mine tighter as he looked at Sam, "A
month. "

I looked away from the, "Yah, a whole, long, boring, fucking month."

Sam reached across the table and patted mine and Kevin's hands, "But you'll
be with each other, that's something."

Kevin shook his head slowly, "No, actually we won't. They split us down the
middle, Nick and Brian are doing the west and AJ, Howie and I are doing the
east. We won't see each other for a month."

I stood very fast, keeping a grip on Kevin's hand, "Can we shop now? I would
rather not spend my last day together in tears."

Kevin looked up and saw that my eyes were nearly brimming over with tears.
I couldn't help it. It was so fucking unfair. I finally found something
good, something that blows me away with how right it is, then like always,
work calls and I'm ripped away. Only this time there was no reason why we
should be ripped apart. It could have been avoided. They could have put Kev
and I together, I know they could have.

The look on Kevin's face tore me apart, he was just as upset about the tour,
but I could tell he was even more upset that I was hurting. That was enough
to push me over the edge. I mumbled, "Excuse me." and made a beeline for the
restroom.

Kevin looked at Sam, nearly at the breaking point himself, "You know what
happened to us?"

Sam knew the whole story of what had happened to all of the Backstreet Boys
by that psycho, most especially the terror and pain that Nick and Kevin
endured. She knew as awful as what had been released to the press was, what
hadn't been released was what she saw in their eyes, they both looked
haunted. She nodded at Kevin's question.

He closed his eyes for a second and she gasped when she saw that his eyes
had gone from a sparkling green color to almost gray. "Nick and I have been
holding each other together. The nightmares....." He stopped and clenched
his fists for a second, white knuckling the table, "The nightmares are
almost as bad as living through it the first time. And out of it we discover
something we never expected. And then when normal couples are getting to
know each other and spending time just being together, we are going to be on
opposite sides of the country."

He stood up, "I'm going to check on Nick. He tries to hide how traumatized
he is by what happened to both of us...but I know. You know, if I could
take it all.....nevermind. I'll be back in a second."

Sam nodded, touched by how much they truly cared for each other. She
closed her eyes and spoke softly under her breath, "Please let them make it.
Let this be forever for them."

I was just so sad about this whole situation, then I was angry. Hell, I was
beyond angry. I just wanted to kick the crap out of something until it felt
as bad as I did. I was pacing back and forth in the restroom, too restless
to stand still. I had this feeling in my gut that was eating away at me. I
just wanted to hit something. I wanted to hit it hard. My foot shot out
and connected solidly with a stall door, making a bang echo in the room. I
felt a little better, I kicked it again. And again. And again. I wound up
to kick it again and the restroom door opened again and I turned my head to
look. Big mistake. The stall door I had just kicked came swinging back at
me and slapped me right in the side, nailing me right where my scar was.

My eyes bulged right out as I tried not to scream like a girl from the jolt
of pain that went through me. Oh shit did that hurt. I grabbed my side and
nearly fell over. I would have if Kevin hadn't been there to break my fall.
He grabbed me and steadied me holding me close.

His arms were wrapped around me like a cocoon and I relaxed against him,
feeling the anger slowly draining out of me. I looked up at him, "I'm
sorry."

He smiled sadly and kissed my temple, "To be honest with you, I kicked the
shit out of a tree when you were wherever you were after the big
announcement of the press promo. Here's a little something I've learned over
the years that I'm going to share with you," He put his hand under my chin
and leaned my head back, planting kisses over the bridge of my nose, "Never
kick anything with hinges. Doors fight back. Trees don't."

I started to giggle and was rewarded with a smile on Kevin's face, which
cheered me up more than anything else could. He put his forehead to mine,
"We are going to make it , Nick. We are. We'll get through this."

I held up my hand and balled my fingers into a fist then lifted my pinky,
"Pinky swear?"

He laughed and looped his pinky with mine, "Of course, that's unbreakable
right?"

I nodded, "Totally ironclad."

He kissed me softly, "Pinky swear."

We were interrupted by the sound of the door opening and quickly pulled away
from each other. We walked for the door as an elderly man walked in, eyeing
the dented stall door and then the both of us. I just shrugged and smiled,
"Teenagers, no respect for anything."

We walked out of the hallway that lead to the restrooms and Sam was waiting
there for us, smiling brightly, "Ok boys, it's time to shop! We have to get
moving if we want to get the best deals"

I saw Kevin's eyes light up at the prospect of bargain hunting. I groaned.
This was going to be a long afternoon.


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