You Do What You Have To Do:
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by: Tina and Danielle
Rated: R (adult stuff, ya know?)
copyright: 1999


I made a sound of protest when Kevin went to stand up. I liked this. Him sitting there, holding me in his arms. It didn't matter that the setting was in the middle of the bathroom floor.

Kevin smiled and said, "I'm not going anywhere, Nick. Stand up." He held his hands out. I grasped them and he pulled me to my feet. "First order of business, Nickers, is you need a very hot bath."

"Is that Dr. Richardson's cure all for everything?"

Kevin brushed the back of his hand across my cheek and said, "It's a start, Nickers. Now, come on let's get you out of those clothes."

He undid my jeans and pulled them down, along with my boxers. I put my hands on his shoulders to balance myself as I stepped out of my clothes and Kevin threw them aside. I shivered again as Kevin's hands carressed the outside of my thighs. Kevin looked up at me and I smiled, "This good shivers this time. I promise."

Kevin stood back up and helped me into the tub. The hot water felt so good against my bare skin that I'm sure my eyes about rolled back in my head. I sunk down in the tub until my head rested on the back of it.

Kevin said, "You just lay there and enjoy that, baby. I'll be right back in a few minutes."

I wondered what he was up to but I closed my eyes and let my muscles relax as the hot water soothed them. Surprisingly, I almost dozed off but Kevin came back in then and my eyes jerked open. He had clothes in his hands and sat them down on the counter.

"What were you doing?", I asked as he started to get undressed.

"I cleaned up in the bedroom. Threw the broken lamp out and put new sheets on the bed."

I simply said, "Oh", as my eyes drank in his naked body. Was it possible for him to have gotten any more perfect since I had last saw him? Yes, it was.

"You've been working out, Bumpkin." It was more of a statement than a question.

"Yeah, I've been working out - almost around the clock. Sit up babe."

I did and he slipped into the tub behind me. Once he sat behind me he picked up the spongue and body wash and began lathering the spongue up.

It was then I thought about Brian and asked where he was.

Kevin began washing my back and shoulders with the spongue - deep, long strokes that immediately turned my body to mush.

"God, Nick, you're so tight. And as far as Brian goes, he should be on a plane for NY right about now. He was the one who talked to management and got them to switch the line-up for this promo tour. He wanted us apart."

"For the love of God, why?! He has no idea what he did. How could he be so fuckin selfish and inconsiderate, Kev?"

The spongue was now carressing my arms. "I haven't talked to him to know his reasons, Nick. I suspect this was some kind of test to see if me and you were going through some kind of "phase" or if we were for real. I'd like to believe he had good intentions that just went wrong. But I'm here now, Nick. We're together and that's all that matters."

Kevin leaned me back against his chest as he began slowly washing my chest and stomach. I closed my eyes for a moment and sighed in contement.

"You're pale and drawn, Nickers. You've lost weight. Have you been eating?"

I opened my eyes and shook my head, "No. My stomach was always hurting and food just made me sick. Hell, the thought of food just made my stomach turn."

Kevin kissed the side of my neck and said, "My poor baby. I'm gonna nurse you back to health. Just let me take care of you." All I could do was nod my head "yes" against his chest.

I had to manaver around a bit so Kevin could wash my legs and my feet. I watched him as he worked. He looked so serious and deep in concentration - like he wanted to make sure he washed every inch of my body and he wanted to make sure he didn't miss a spot.

"Kev, you hurt me really bad."

He grew still and I heard him sigh against my hear. "I know I did. I'm so sorry, baby. I got so messed up in the head I swear I didn't know what I was doing. I got so wrapped up in my own self-loathing and pain I..........oh, hell, Nick, I don't know what I was thinking. I'm just so very sorry for hurting you. THat's the last thing I wanted."

Kevin proceed to go back over my body with the spongue, washing the soap off this time. Then he picked up a cup and said, "Sit up but lean your head back."

I didn't question him, just did as he asked. He poured water over my hair getting it good and wet. He then picked up the bottle of shampoo and poured some in my hair. His long fingers massaged my scalp as he worked the shampoo up into a rich lather.

"You know, Kev, if you ever decide to get out of the music business, you'd have no trouble getting a job in a beauty salon as the shampoo person."

I glanced back at him and he had this kinda stunned expression on his face. I grinned, "I still have a sense of humor." Slowly a smile crossed Kevin's face and he just chuckled.

Maybe things would be okay after all. Just maybe.

Kevin had me lean my head back again and he rinsed the shampoo out, tenderly and lovingly running his fingers through my hair until it was squeaky clean. He then squeezed the excess water out and pulled me back against his chest, wrapping his arms around me.

It was nice being in his arms again. As I lay there, I knew this was where I was meant to be. But hurt is a funny thing to deal with. You really have to understand why it happened in order for it to go away.

"What happened, Kev? What freaked you out so bad that you couldn't even talk to me anymore?"

"Oh, Nick, I don't even know where to start trying to explain it. But I should have been a man about it and dealt with it instead of tucking tail and running."

There was a knock on our hotel room door then. "Who the hell could that be?", I asked.

Kevin said, "Room service. I'll take care of it."

He hopped out of the tub, quickly dried off - me enjoying the view as he swabbed the towel all over his body. He stepped into a pair of boxers and a wife beater. He looked back at me and said, "You stay put. I'll be right back."

I lay back and closed my eyes, thinking about Kevin. We had a lot of talking to do. He had a lot of explaining to do and I kinda had the feeling I wasn't going to like a lot of what he had to say. But that was okay. I could deal with it. As long as he was here and we were talking face to face, I could deal with it and together we could get over it.

Kevin came back in and picked up a big towel. "Come on sexy. Time to get out before you start shriveling and looking like an old man."

He helped me step out of the tub and wrapped the towel around me. He then picked up another towel and wrapped it around my wet hair. I started to dry myself off but he took the towel from me and dried me off. Then he told me to raise my arms up above my head, which I did, and he pulled a wife beater down over me. He held open my boxer so that I could step into them.

When he straigtened back up, I looked at him and something dawned on me then. "Hey, you're wearing my stuff!"

He grinned sheepishly and said, "I don't have any clothes with me except what was on my back."

"You didn't pack to come out here?"

He shook his head, "Nope. AJ and Howie took me to the Tarzan movie premiere to get my mind off things but I couldn't stop thinking about you, Nick. And this song played during the movie. The most beautiful song I'd ever heard started playing and I knew at that moment I loved you more than life itself. That if you weren't in my life, then my life wasn't worth jack shit. I blurted it out to AJ and Howie how much I loved you and missed you. AJ slapped a plane ticket to LA in my hands and here I am."

"Wow", was all I could manage to say at that moment. I was kinda in awe of how he'd just left everything to get out here to be with me. Kevin took me to the bedroom and had me sit on the end of the bed. There was a food cart sitting there. I took a whiff and my stomach kinda churned.

"Oh God, Kev, I don't think I can eat."

He said, "Yes, you can. You've just been without decent food for so long your stomach needs to get adjusted to it again."

Kevin sat down beside me and rolled the cart over so that it was in front of us. There was a ham and cheese sandwhich, a bowl of chicken broth, and a cup of jello. There was ice tea for a drink.

"Didn't you order you something, Kev?"

He shook his head and said, "Nope. Not hungry. My job is to feed you. This is something light. It should sit on your stomach pretty well. If you're feeling better tonight, I'll take you out and buy you the biggest cheeseburger we can find in the city of Los Angeles."

I grinned, "You are so on, dude." Then I thought about something, "Hey, what about our appearances scheduled for toda?"

"Been cancelled. I told management you were sick and I wasn't letting you out to do anything until you felt better. Now open up. Don't make me do the airplane coming into the hanger bit to get you to eat."

He had picked up the spoon and dished up some soup, patiently waiting for me to shovel it in. I said, "You wouldn't dare make the airplane noises would you?"

His reply? "Oh yes, I would. I know how to make airplane noises and I'm not afraid to use them."

I rolled my eyes and groaned, "Oh geez. You know, I've heard those words before. Seems like there is some other joker who likes to threaten airplance noises also." Referring back to when we were holed up at the cabin so long again and I was the one trying to get Kevin to eat.

Kevin grinned, "Yeah, it was this big blond headed dork who is the most amazing, caring, strong human being I ever met."

Oh shit, I was gonna cry but I sucked it up and opened my mouth and Kevin began spoon feeding me. He had to stop after a couple of bites as my stomach heaved and I thought I was gonna throw up.

He rubbed my back with his free hand and said, "Take some deep breaths, Nick. That'll help."

I took some deep breaths and my stomach began to calm down. As I began to eat more I did feel better. Kevin fed me all the soup, even holding the glass of tea to my mouth when I wanted something to drink. He cut the sandwhich in half and picked up one half and began feeding it to me.

"You know, Kev, I'm not helpless. I can feed myself."

"I know but just let me do this, Nick. I want to."

He continued to feed me so I picked up the other half of the sandwhich and held it to his lips. He smiled the most amazing smile that I had ever seen and opened his mouth so I could feed him as well.

When the food was gone, I lay back on my elbows and groaned, "God, I feel like a pig now, Kev."

He pushed the tray out of the way and he leaned down and kissed my tummy through my shirt. Then he sat up and said, "Where's your hairdryer and brush?"

I shrugged my shoulders and stifled a yawn, "Probably in the bathroom somewhere. Look underneath the counter."

He went into the bathroom and came out holding the dryer in one hand and the brush in the other.

"What are you doing?", I asked him.

"We both need some rest - you especially. But you can't go to sleep with wet hair. It'll make you sick."

I was tired. I was actually yawning my head off at the moment cause I was sleepy but I didn't want to sleep. I shook my head, "I can't sleep, Kevin. Not after that last dream I had. No way. That was like being thrown into the pits of hell while still alive."

Kevin sat the brush and dryer down and cupped my face in his hands, "No more dreams, Nick. I swear to God no more dreams. I'm not letting that bitch play me for a coward anymore. And there will be no more dreams for you either young man. If I have to sit up and watch you while you're alsleep to make sure you rest peacefully I will."

I couldn't help myself. I leaned into him and softly kissed him. He took the kiss as a good sign that maybe I was gonna let him back in, learn to trust him again. He turned the dryer on and began brushing and drying my hair.

He said, "Do you want to talk about that dream, Nickers?"

I shook my head, "Yeah, but not right now. I just want to enjoy this."

He kissed my cheek and said, "Ok, baby."

He finished drying my hair about 10 minutes later and I was all but asleep sitting up. He pulled the covers back on the bed and came back around to where I sat. He scooped me up in his arms and carried me around to the side of the bed, laying me down and pulling the covers up to my chin.

I watched him walk across the room to the light switch and turn it off. He then came back to the bed and slid in bed beside me. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me back against his chest. I remember sighing and then my eyes closed in a peaceful sleep. Thank the sweet Lord.



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