You Do What You Have To Do
Chapter 47
By Tee and Danielle (this part by D)
(C)by us too.
****************************************

I glanced over my shoulder and saw Kevin staggering behind Mom and me.
Aaron was piggybacked on him, Leslie and Angel were each hanging onto his
sides and BJ was too cool to hang all over him, so she just walked beside
making moony eyes at him.  I had to smirk, BJ has had a crush on Kev for the
longest time, if she only knew.  Maybe she'll be happy I'm keeping it in the
family.  Somehow I doubt that.

You wouldn't think it to look at Kevin, but he was amazing with kids.  For
all he got frustrated with being the responsible one keeping the rest of us
four in line, when you put him with kids, he just opened up and became thing
person you didn't even know was in there.  I still remembered the first time
I saw it, it was back when the BSB were just starting out and my parents had
a bar-b-que and there were kids running around everywhere from everyone's
families and neighborhood kids since the bar-b-que had turned almost into a
block party by that point and all of a sudden everyone noticed that all the
kids were gone and it was actually quiet.  I went looking for the rest of
the kids and found them in the front yard with Kevin.  He had all of them
sitting around him and was telling them stories of working at Disney.  Those
kids were just mesmerized by him. I sat at the back of the group and just
listened and fell under his spell too.  He's so patient and calm around kids
it's amazing.  Seeing him with my brother and sisters hanging off of him
just made me love him even more. It was a special breed that could hang with
the Carter kids and still be standing at the end of it.

"He's a keeper."

"I'm sorry, Nick. What was that?"

I snapped out of it and realized I had said that out loud.  I looked at my
mom and then back at Kevin who was dragging the brood into the family room.
"I said he's a keeper. Just look at how good he is with kids."

Jane looked at Kevin staggering under the weight of the three kids hanging
off of him and smiled, "That he is. He's going to make one woman very happy
someday."

I felt the smile falter on my face, but managed to keep it.  I decided there
really wasn't anything I could say to that.  Besides the truth, but it was a
little too early for that.

Kevin finally dragged the three of them in and I pulled Aaron off of his
back, spinning my brother around like a monkey on speed and slammed him onto
the couch before tickling the living daylights out of him.  Just our special
way of saying hello.  Kevin and I sat on one of the couches and Aaron took a
leap into our laps, sitting on/between both of us.  We both dove a hand into
his hair and mussed the crap out of it, shaking his head like a maraca
while we were at it.

Aaron squealed and tried to cover his hair, but the damage was already done.
He ran to the bathroom and we heard him banging around trying to tame the
mess we had made of it, but when we heard the water going, we knew that we
had done our job well. Kevin and I slapped palms in a high five as Mom just
laughed at how some things never change.

The kid came back with wet hair and a devilish look on his face.  I knew
what was coming and dove behind Kevin, shoving Bumpkin in front of me. Aaron
shook his dripping wet head and when I heard Kevin gasp I knew he'd gotten
it but good. I did feel kinda guilty, but hey, it's every man for himself in
this house.  I crawled out from behind Kevin and he was completely dry. Then
I looked at Aaron a split second before he shook and splattered me.  The
little runts! They tricked me!

My mom and sisters were nearly crying they were laughing so hard at the
surprised expression on my face.  I rolled my eyes and threw Aaron over my
shoulder, "Well Boy, seems someone has forgotten that whole paybacks are
a.....you know."

He started screeching and beating on my back and I decided to go easy on him
and spun him around wildly for a minute solid and then plunked him down on
his feet again, seeing him weaving and stumbling trying to stay on his feet.
He finally careened to the floor and sat there trying to get his bearings
while we all laughed at him.

We had just all calmed down when we heard the door slam and a wonderful
voice let out a yell, "I'm home! Where is my boy?!"  I grinned and dove off
the couch and launched at my dad like a four year old.  He expected it of
me, it was kind of like our own little tradition that neither one of us had
grown out of.  I ran at him and skidded to a stop less than a foot from him
and stuck out my hand, "Hi dad, good to see you. How ya been?"

He grinned and grabbed my hand, yanking me into his hug, "Cutting that slide
a little close, weren't ya? Don't want to cripple your old man."

I laughed and clapped him on the back, "Have I ever not stopped in time? I'm
a pro at this, have faith old man!"

He poked me in the side playfully and I winced, still a little tender.
"Damn. Sorry Nick, I forgot for a second there."

I smiled and rubbed my side, "It's ok. It's getting better. Slowly, but it's
getting there."

He mussed up my hair like I had done to Aaron, "You need a haircut."

I clapped my hands over my hair, "HEY! And I know. I'll get it done while
I'm here in LA just so I can pay a ridiculous amount of money for it.

I got a cuff across the top of my head for that one and he pushed me into
the living room, flashing a wounded look at everyone else, "What? I come
home from a hellish..." he looks down at his watch, "half day at work and
the wandering son is the only one who greets me? I feel the love!"

I knew to step out of the way and a split second later the rest of my
siblings knocked him over and made a big show of hugging him and just going
totally over the top with the emoting.

Kevin was doubled over on the couch laughing at all of us. I could
understand it, this family took some getting used to and he was definitely
used to it, but that didn't mean we didn't amuse the hell out of him.


"LUNCH!"

Ah yes, the Carter family battle cry!  We all took off for the kitchen,
leaving my dad abandoned on the floor and Kevin reaching out a hand to help
him up. They were the last two to the table, but I managed to snatch a
plateful of food for Kevin as well as myself, knowing at the rate they were
going, that only the sucky stuff would be left.  When he sat down beside me,
I handed him the plate and wagged a finger at him, "You know the way things
work here Kev, but I took pity on ya so you wouldn't get stuck with what dad
is going to.  Next time, let's see a little hustle huh?"

He smiled and stretched his arms over his head and I heard his back crack a
little, recovering from the Carter family pile up and drag in that had
happened earlier, "It's my day off, Nick.  There shall be no hustling, it's
like a commandment or something."

I rolled my eyes and took a piece of his sandwich, "You are already full of
it, so you won't be needing this piece of sandwich."


He took my wrist and brought the sandwich piece to his mouth while it was
still in his hand and proceeded to lick the bread. He let my wrist go, "Ok,
it's all yours."

I just had the sandwich limply hanging in my hand, the shocked expression on
my face sending my family nearly into hysterics.  They thought it was from
being grossed out, but really it was because my heart was beating so bad.
When Kevin licked the sandwich, his tongue traveled up the length of my
thumb, sending my poor heart skittering.  I put the piece of sandwich back
down on his plate, "Suddenly I just don't want that piece of sandwich any
more."

That sent my family off again while I thought to myself, 'I don't want your
sandwich now, I want your tongue running over other places besides my hand.
I want your hands on my.....' I closed my eyes and tried not to moan out
loud. 'Not now. oh god not in front of my family!'

I felt someone leaning close to me and Kevin's breath coming near my ear,
"Brian's mom naked. Dead cats.  An eighty year old stripper in a g-string."

I started to laugh and opened my eyes, seeing my family looking at us
curiously.  I smiled innocently, "What? He just reminded me of something."
I looked at my brother sitting on the other side of me, "Aaron? Be afraid.
Be very afraid."

He looked up at me wide eyed and I cackled wickedly. Mean, I know. But it
was a good cover and heck anything that would make that little guy squirm
for a while was good stuff in my book!

We all got through lunch without much more horsing around, you know, just a
piece of lettuce thrown here, a carrot tossed there. All in all not too much
carnage.  I was starting to get butterflies in my stomach about when I was
going to tell them.  I thought about just not telling them, but then I
looked at Kevin laughing at something Aaron was telling him and not telling
just wasn't an option any more. I wanted to be with Kevin and I wanted not
to have to hide our love from my family. I closed my eyes for a second and
prayed quickly that at the end of this I would still have a family.

The rest of the afternoon was spent playing with my sisters and brother, me
beating the crap out of Aaron and Kevin at Nintendo and Sega and Dreamcast
and I'm pretty sure I could have whooped them checkers too had we played.
We all swam and played volleyball and all my sisters and Aaron and Kevin
decided to play a game of let's dunk Nick as many times as we can, while we
were in the pool.  Needless to say, I was not amused.

We bar-b-que'd for dinner and it was pretty quiet, we were all exhausted
from an afternoon of cramming everything we could into it.  My family was
dealing with jet lag also, so there was alot of yawning at the picnic table.
I felt something hit my side softly, not enough to hurt my ribs, and looked
down.  Aaron was snuggled up to my side and fast asleep, bar-b-que sauce
still smeared on his face and fingers.

I smiled down at him and shook my head at my dad when he got up to grab him,
"Nah, let me. I don't get to do this nearly enough."

Kevin looked up at me, "I got one too."  I looked beside him and Angel was
just as fast asleep as her twin brother.  I laughed softly and lifted Aaron
into my arms and felt him tighten his arms around my neck, nuzzling his face
into my shoulder.  It wasn't an odd occurrence for people to fall asleep at
the table in my family, us kids all tended to just keep going and going and
going until the moment we sat down and then we would just drop to sleep
wherever we fell.   We gave a whole new definition to the word hyper.

Kevin grabbed Angel and held her like I had Aaron and he had Leslie tucked
close to his side, half asleep on her feet.  We left my parents to give the
'be careful' speech to B.J..  She was going to a friend's house for the
night, a welcome back sleep over kind of deal with all her girlfriends.
God, I pitied the parent's housing that party. God, I nearly went deaf from
the squealing every time I was around B.J. and her friends.

Kevin and I took the kids into the house and brought them upstairs, throwing
them in their beds in their bathing suits and shorts.  I sat on the end of
Aaron's bed as I pulled the blankets around him, looking at my old bed.
Aaron had insisted that the whole room be moved exactly as it was in Florida
to the house here in California, he insisted this way it could be just like
it was whenever I came to visit.  I looked over and saw how he hadn't
touched anything on "my" side of the room wiped a tear from my cheek. I need
to visit more often.  'Please God, let me have something to visit.'

I reached my hand out and smoothed the hair back from my little brother's
face and leaned down to kiss him on the forehead.  "Night AC, sweet dreams."

He stirred and opened his eyes to look at me sleepily, "Night Nick.  I love
you."

I bit my lips to keep from crying, god I missed him. "I love you too, Little
Man."  I took him in my arms and hugged him to me, sitting him on my lap and
I felt his arms sleepily clutched around my neck.  "I miss you, Nick."

I squeezed him gently, "I miss you too, Aaron.  I'm going to arrange it with
Mom to get you out with us for a while, ok? I'll see what I can work out."

He nodded against my shoulder, "Ok.."

I rubbed his back in a slow circle over and over until I felt him relax
against me and smiled as I laid him back among his covers, tucking him in
tight. I kissed his forehead one more time before standing up and turning
around to leave.

Kevin was standing there waiting for me, tears in his eyes.  "It's times
like this I wish I wasn't the youngest in my family."

I smiled and met him in the doorway, "But you had the four of us to look
after, I would have thought that would have cured you of that wish."

He shook his head, "Nah, it's different with family. You guys are my family,
my brothers, and you....well it's just different when it's blood family."

I nodded, understanding what he was getting at.  The two of us had different
roles in our families and in the band. In the band the youngest Richardson
was the oldest Backstreet Boy and the oldest Carter was the youngest
Backstreet Boy.  It got hard to take on the two roles sometimes.

I looked up at Kevin, hearing the front door slam as BJ left for the night.
"Ready?"

He nodded and I could hear him swallow from where I was.  He raised an
eyebrow, "You?"

I nodded and raised my hand between us. "Oh yah. Nerves of steel." My hand
was shaking like a leaf.

He took it between his and leaned close to me, whispering in my ear, no make
that singing in my ear,
"I can't deny what I believe
I can't be what I'm not
I know our love's forever
I know no matter what"

It was part of the song he had sung to me over the phone to bring me back
from that gawd awful nightmare.  I instantly felt better, knowing that it
was Kevin's way of saying no matter what happened, he was going to be right
here beside me.

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes to look at him, "Ok, let's do this.
We have nothing to be ashamed of and I will not hide from my own family."  I
lifted my fist and  raised my pinky, like a pinky swear, "No matter what."

Kevin linked his pinky with mine and knocked our two fists together, "No
matter what."

We released the grip and started down the stairs.