You Do What You Have To Do
Chapter 63 
By Tee and Danielle

 
You that saying about silence being deafening? Well I never knew what it
meant until that moment. It was so quiet in there you could hear hair
growing. Or maybe it was turning white from what Kevin had just said. 
 
I was in shock. Hell, we all were. None of us knew Kevin had....I thought
about the past.  In the early days of the group, we were making no money at
all and practices took up all our time.  Kevin always seemed to make his
rent somehow. Now we all know just how he did it. 
 
No one was saying a word or making a sound and when Tyke woke up on Dylan's
lap and let out a confused whimper at all the silent adults, it seemed to
break the spell everyone was under and all hell broke loose. 
 
Some of the things coming out of the mouths in that room were not things
Dylan should hear.  Hell  *I* was too young to hear it.   Everyone was
talking all at once and I got up from my chair and leaned down over Kevin.
I kissed him just below the ear and whispered to him, "I love you.  I know
you just did what you needed to do to survive, but Dylan doesn't need to see
all this.  We're going for a walk. I love you."  
 
When I felt his hand squeeze mine, I knew he had heard me.  I made sure to
repeat that I loved him again before pulling away. I didn't want him to
think that I was running from this.  I crept out of the melee and crouched
down before Dylan who was staring at everything going on around him with
wide eyes. "Hey Dylan, let's say you and I have some man to man time."  
 
He looked at me and then down at Tyke who was looking right back up at him.
I smiled, "You know what Tyke really likes?"
 
He shook his head, his blond hair falling in his eyes, "Nooooo."
 
I grinned, "Ice cream.  Do you like ice cream too?" 
 
His eyes lit right up and he nodded so fast I thought his head was going to
fall clean off his shoulders. "Yah-huh!"
 
I held out my hand, "How about you and me take Tyke for a walk down the
beach and I know there is an ice cream store not too far away.  We can get
lots of ice cream and make them all jealous when we get back.  What do you
say?"
 
He nodded again and I pulled Tyke into my arm and took Dylan in the other. 
We got out of the house and on the back deck I put both of them down and the
two of them took off running and playing in the sand.  I walked behind them 
and grinned at Dylan running in circles with the dopey little dog running on
his heels adoringly.  I shrugged and figured if you can't beat them, join 
them. So I took off running after the both of them doing a great tickle 
monster impression.  
*******************
 
Kevin sat at the table rubbing his temples, listening to everyone yelling 
at him all at once.  
 
"STOP IT! SHUT THE FUCK UP NOW!!!!"
 
Silence fell in the room, seeing Kevin standing there breathing heavily, 
fists clenched and face red.  "That's better."
 
He sat back down and everyone else sat also.  "Now, Melinda and Sam.  
Yes, I am biologically Dylan's father. I kind of thought I might be.  He 
has my father's smile, it's very distinctive and the way he looks like when 
he's concentrating...that's all me.  That's why I asked.  Don't be afraid 
that I know I'm the donor that created him. When I started doing that, I 
read the contract very thoroughly.  I have no rights whatsoever here. I 
signed all of them away, so you have nothing to fear.  Even if I did have a 
shred of rights, I would never do anything to hurt Dylan and taking away 
from the two most loving and attentive mothers in the world,even for a 
minute,  would do just that."
 
They both looked very relieved.   He turned to AJ, Howie and Brian, "What 
say do you have in any of this? It was years ago, when we were just 
starting out and I had to make the rent somehow. With our practice 
schedule, I didn't have time for a job and sleeping on the street wasn't 
an option. So I did what I could to survive."
 
Brian shook his head, "What would your family say if they knew, Kev?"
 
Kevin looked down at his hands, "Well, my mom isn't a problem anymore 
seeing as I'm not her son anymore...." He swallowed hard as Brian had the 
decency to look sorry for talking about family. "But as for what the rest 
of my family would think, it was Jerald who brought it up and encouraged 
me to do it if it meant that I could follow my dream.  It was 500 bucks 
for 10 minutes of effort and believe me after rehearsal and recording, 
ten minutes is about all I had left."
 
And then it was quiet in the room again.
 
*****************
 
Dylan, Tyke and I had made it to the ice cream store and I was trying not 
to get ice cream up my nose as I laughed at Dylan's attempts to eat ice 
cream off a cone like a "big boy".  He was getting more on his face than 
in his mouth, but he was having fun and that's all that mattered.  Tyke even
had his own little dish of vanilla, at Dylan's insistence.   
 
I looked at the little boy as he ate and with his blond hair cut in the 
bowl cut and the green eyes, he looked like a cross between Kevin and I.   
He was going to be tall, that much I could tell.   And you could already 
tell he was smart as a whip. He had alot of Sam's spunk too. That must be 
a learned thing, unless Melinda was hiding the spunk in her genes.  
 
I just about got chocolate up my nose when I saw Dylan and pick Tyke up and 
put him on the table.  They both had gobs of ice cream on their chins and 
noses.   I saw a tourist with a Polaroid camera around his neck and I waved 
him over, "Could I borrow your camera and get you to take three pictures 
if I give you 20 dollars?"  He looked at me a little strangely and then 
noticed the ice cream covered dog and kid and grinned, nodding his head.  
I grinned and tilted my cone up at my mouth and nose and gave myself the 
same ice cream goatee that they had going and sat with the two of them.  
The old man laughed and took three pictures for me and then refused to take 
the money, handing me the pictures. "No, I couldn't take your money.  Just 
enjoy the time with your son while he's young. They grow up so fast." 
 
I was stunned.  Before I could tell him that Dylan wasn't my son, he was 
walking away.  I threw the remains of our ice cream away and worked on 
cleaning up my face, Tyke's and Dylan's.   It nearly took a whole dispenser 
of napkins, but I finally had us all presentable again.   
 
I set Dylan down on the ground with Tyke and they both took off for the 
swing set that was just before the beach.  We spent another twenty minutes 
there as I pushed Dylan higher and higher so he could 'touch the sky'.   I 
watched him and had to wonder if Kevin was this spirited when he was a 
child, before the weight of the world started settling on his shoulders.  
Some moments I swear I saw the same expressions and wide eyed wonder in 
Kevin.  Those were the moments Dylan reminded me most of Kevin.
 
I shook myself out of it and got Dylan off the swing and called for Tyke 
to start the walk home.  I took a shivering Tyke and put him inside my 
jacket, the poor thing was cold on the inside from the ice cream and on the 
outside from the wind coming off the water.   I swung Dylan onto my 
shoulders and he held on to my head while I walked along the beach back 
to the house.  
 
The closer we got to the house, I could see everyone sitting on the back 
deck.  Dylan was teaching me silly songs he'd learned at day care and we 
were singing them at the top of our lungs as we walked back home.  Everyone 
was calm and smiling on the deck, so I figured it was safe to go back.  
I bounced Dylan as I was going up the steps, making him giggle so hard he 
nearly fell off my shoulders.  I set him down and took Tyke out of my jacket 
and watching him scurry away to Brian.  
 
I gave Dylan two of the pictures and told them to give one to his moms and 
the other to Kevin.  He ran up to Kevin and gave him a big hug and gave 
him one of the pictures and then he ran to his moms and gave them the 
other.  I took the final one from my pocket and gave it to the other three 
and told them I wanted it back.  Everyone was laughing at the goofy picture 
of us.
 
Sam and Melinda came up and hugged me, "Thank you, Nick.  In all the shock 
we totally forgot that a little boy was sitting in the room."
 
I smiled and shrugged, "It's ok.  Hell, some of the stuff that was flying
around in there *I* was too young to hear!"
 
Everyone laughed and listened to Dylan talk on and on about the great time 
he had with me. They heard about every single minute between the time we 
left the house until the minute we got back. He got his entire little body 
into it and was just so expressive about it, you would swear that kid was 
a Carter.  Then again, when I looked at Sam, I figured she had something to 
do with that particular trait.
 
I sat down beside Kevin and he shook his head.  He situated us on the 
bench so he was sitting behind me and I was wrapped in his arms from behind.
He kissed just below my hairline on the nape of my neck, "Thank you for 
everything you've done for me, Nickers.  You were the only one in that 
room to think of what Dylan was seeing with all of us going nuts like that.
Thank you for that picture too.  I think I have a new favorite photograph 
for my bunk in the bus. My two favorite people in the whole world happy 
and covered in ice cream. It doesn't get any better than that."
 
I grinned leaned back into him, "No, it certainly didn't get any better 
than that."